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So......I am having a very hard day. In a nutshell here is the latest........
Gary is coming home tomorrow. We have a meeting with Hospice tomorrow morning to get things set up.
Gary has something wrong with his bladder and the urine is leaking up through his wound. This is not fixable.
We had CT Scans and are waiting for the results. He is on antibiotics and he is being hydrated.
We have been told that Gary will probably not be alive at Christmas but we are hoping that he will be.
The thought of planning his Memorial before Christmas is heart breaking.
I have been crying for so long and I don't want to cry anymore.
My heart hurts so much. Just thinking about Gary actually dying is so incredibly painful.
I am taking Zach up to the hospital this afternoon and Gary and I are going to talk to him tonight and tell him what is going on. We will wait to talk to the other boys until we get Gary home and situated. Barth is coming in tonight to talk to Gary and I. He will be our Hospice doctor.
We ask that you pray for us. I know how many of your hearts are breaking right along with ours. I am so sorry that we all have to go through this.
If you were to see Gary or talk to him you would never ever in a million years at this point believe that he is actually going to die. He is so talkative and eating so well (despite the 20 pound weight loss). It's so hard to believe in a way.
My stress level is through the roof right now and I have had the mother of all migraines since 4 AM. None of the medicine I have is helping right now. Steph and Stacy had to drive me home this morning because of my headeache and I have been waiting to be able to drive. Stacy is picking the boys up in a few minutes and Zach and I should be on our way.
I know I am rambling but I also know I will get to a calm place and be able to focus. God is so good and he loves both Gary and me so much. I know His heart breaks right along with ours.
The boys went to Disneyland yesterday and now they get another fun evening (except Zach). I feel like we are ambushing him. I have been looking at him all day and thinking about how he has absolutely no idea what we are going to tell him. I feel so bad. I want to be strong but I know when we tell him that we are all going to fall apart.
I know that God will provide the wisdom we need to be able to talk to the kids.
Prayers, Peace, and Love,
Lisa
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4 comments:
Lisa, I am so, so sorry about this latest twist. I can't imagine trying to tell my son the news you will share with Zach. As hard as this news is, Zach will also know how hard Gary has fought, because he has seen his battle on a daily basis. I do not know of another man who could have endured what Gary has gone through and though I do not know Gary closely, I believe he really felt that was what he needed to do to continue to be there for his family. Gary's and your examples of faith, love and endurance will stay with your boys throughout their lives and as a parent aren't those the most important values we can teach our children? Continued Prayers and comfort....Lori
Lisa, We never had the chance to meet, but I've been reading your blog for the past 9 mos, please know that you and your family are in our prayers everyday, I know there are no words that can comfort you, be strong and know that there are people who you have never met and may never meet who trully cares for you and your family.
Agnes
Lisa, We do not know each other well. I am Michele's sister-in-law. I just want you to know that I have been praying for you. No words can help, but if there is anything I can do, let me know. You have many people gathering good thoughts and hopefully this will ease some of what you are going through.
Always, Melissa
Lisa, You don't know me. But I have too been reading your blog for about a year now. You have been my inspiration when I have hard times I see how very strong you are you are always on the positive side of everything!! You and your Family are in my thoughts and prayers Daily. I live on the blue ridge Parkway in NC I am so far away but I wish I could give you a great big hug... You really are a wonderful Wife, Mother, Friend to everyone. I think Gary is very special he has real fought this thing with you by his side every min. I have to be honest with you it has taking me 2 hrs to write what little I have. I am not to good with words never have been in situations like this.plus with me being a stranger and you going through so much.I will just let you know my Family and I are really praying for you.
Sorry so long...
Thought's and Prayers
The Wilmoth's
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