Mourning for our friends

Good Evening.
When Gary was in the hospital this past summer for the majority of the summer I ended up meeting 2 women while on the 8th floor. Both Dixie and Sue had sick husbands who were battling cancer. Both Dixie and Sue's husbands had been in the hospital more than they had been out over the past year. Wonderful women. Warm and friendly and strong and courageous. We bonded immediately as we all shared one thing in common - our sick husbands. We talked for hours and hours and at that time I really realized I was not alone and all the things Gary and I had been going through they had been going through as well.

Well, a few weeks ago I learned that Dixie's husband had lost his battle with his cancer. She knew this was coming as she had taken him home and began Hospice. I just saw Sue and few weeks ago and found out the Larry's Cancer (ALM - Leukemia) was suddenly in remission and she was so happy. Well, this did not last long at all and as suddenly as the cancer disappeared it reappeared and this morning Larry died at home.

I also found out this week that Jeff Spears died. He was the young teacher from San Clemente High School whose wife, Ruthe is in remission from Breast cancer and they have two 5 year-old twin girls and a 9 year -old boy.

Cancer sucks. Plain and Simple. It is a roller Coaster of emotions. It is hard for me to write sometimes because on any given day we can have a good day and then BAM an awful day. Then, people say but I thought he was feeling so good? What happened? It's cancer. It is awful. It is a psychotic uncontrollable day to day emotional horror show. It is so hard to articulate to all of you everything that we go through mostly because it can be so incredibly overwhelming.

Thanks for hanging in there with us and for going on the coaster with us. I wish we had more good days than bad days and maybe that is what our future will hold. We hope and pray.

Please pray for Dixie and Sue and Ruthe and their kids and families. It is hard enough watching your loved one suffer so greatly but then watching them die is so unfathomable to me at this point. They are all such incredibly strong women and my heart is close to theirs and aches with them.

Gary has been in incredible pain today in his left leg. I came home this afternoon to give him some Toradol and some Xanax. The Xanax ended up knocking him out from about 2 PM until 7 PM tonight. At least he was relaxed and calm and out of pain as he slept. I hate having to do that but at this point until we figure out how to work this stimulator it is much better for him to be out of pain and sleeping then to be in pain and writhing.

We have chemo tomorrow and then several other appointments that are scattered throughout the week. Thank God mo Mom is here. She is so great with the boys and with Gary and the kids LOVE hanging out with her.

I am off to bed. I will work on the web later. I am glad you all liked the new photos. I am really looking forward to next Sunday and celebrating Gary's Birthday!

Another one of our kids is grounded for the week and it isn't "Mason". Story to follow tomorrow........stay tuned...........it's fairly entertaining!

Love To All,
Lisa