Posts
On His Own Words..................
Thanks for all of your help and prayers. I really appreciate it. We have food on our table and a beautiful christmas tree in our home. Our lights are beautifully done and our bills are paid. We have gas in our cars and the love from all of our family and friends. Your prayers mean so much. We are so blessed. G
There you have it. That is more than he has said since we sat up all night Thursday night talking and crying and just coming to terms with what we are probably facing.
Gary has not felt well at all over the past few days. Thanksgiving marked the first "crappy" day and he is still not feeling well. I am not sure that he even knows what is wrong. He is in loads of pain and that is consuming him. Everything else seems to be okay. No more fevers and no more infection - so it appears.
I will stay up tonight and hang the garland on the stairs. Tomorrow night a family that volunteers from the Beckstrand Corporation is coming to bring the boys some little gifts for Christmas. I have not told them yet nor have we told Nate and Jax what is happening with Gary. No time seems to be the right time. It will be soon.
School starts tomorrow. I am glad because the boys have been fighting over Webkins constantly! I am not naming names but one of my boys almost ended up in the back of a Police Car today after church. It was utterly embarrassing and I was mortified! He was not a deviant or delinquent but he was completely and totally out of control and he baracaded himself inside of the Chevron on the corner of Antonio/Oso because I would only allow him to get a 20 oz. coke instead of a 2 litre bottle! What a wicked and completely unfair Mom I am!!!
Well, off to bed because we have an early day and a long day at the doctors tomorrow.
Love to you all! Get shopping. Only 24 more days left to shop before Christmas!! Times a tickin!!
XOXO
Lisa
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
HAPPY TURKEY DAY
Gary is home and we are watching The Cooking Channel. He is actually an EATING MACHINE right now. I had a hard time fitting in his antibiotic (has to be taken an hour before or 2 hours after a meal) into his food schedule!
Lots has happened over the past 24 hours since I last posted so I will catch you up to speed.
We talked to Zach in great detail. We both read When Children Grieve before speaking to Zach and we are so thankful for that book. I know I have mentioned the book before because it deals with ALL loss (pet death, divorce, death of a relative or friend, etc...). Love this book. Anyhow, we laughed together and we cried together and we prayed together and just talked very openly and it was more than Gary and I could have hoped for. So, thank you for your prayers.
Dr. Barth came in to talk with us and he spent almost an hour talking to Gary and to me and to Zach. Nothing has really changed from the previous correspondence with the exception of our home care. We are not on Hospice as per Dr. Barth's recommendation. Gary is eating plenty and his nutritional values are better than they have ever been. His liver functions are completely normal (which is kinda scary seeing as there is cancer in there) and his cancer has shrunk (ever so slightly but it has).
We are basically putting out fires at this point in time. As long as Gary feels okay and it not being killed by his pain and has a quality of life that is acceptable to him then we can keep chasing down infections.
However, Gary has developed a fistula. Fistulas are common problems post operatively. A fistula is a "tunnel or connection" between 2 places that should not be there. So, Gary's bladder did not completely heal from the last surgery and a fistula has formed between his bladder and his wound. So, instead of his urine naturally flowing out where it should it is now coming up out of his wound and you can only imagine what a wet mess this has become. Lake Sallee is what I refer to it as. So, next week we will go to Barth's office and Gary will have 2 nephrostomy tubes placed (tubes that go into the kidney and come out of the back to drain the urine). These tubes will bypass the bladder completely which will dry up the wound. The cancer in the bladder can grow without the flow of urine and thus in theory decreasing the chance of infection.
So, as if we weren't complicated enough for all of you we have once again added another twist to Gary's care. For now I will change the wound dressing (like 20 pads that make him look 6 months preggo) every 3 or so hours to keep Gary dry. Our schedule will be like it was when we had a newborn.
BTW - Happy Thanksgiving everyone. There are so many incredible people we need to give thanks to. The miracles and love that have come out of our tragic cancer battle are abundant and overflowing. Even though we probably face the unimaginable we give thanks and give thanks and give thanks for everything God has given us. Everytime we turn around we are showered with love and support and friendship and warmth. God has always provided for us through all of you and we just thank Him and you for everything. We could never thank all of you enough -ever!
So, after Thanksgiving we will talk to the 2 other boys and then we are going to live every single day to the fullest! We will have many early Christmas celebrations and just soak everything in!
But for now we look forward to tomorrow and tomorrow we will feast on turkey until we can't button our pants (maybe we should wear elastic waist pants like Gary does every day)! We will toast all of you because that is what we are so thankful for!
We can still pray for a miracle. We also need to pray for continual peace and comfort as well. BTW - my headache is gone and I feel 100% better!
Enjoy eachother and give thanks for everything you have been given by Our Father. We are all so fortunate!
With Love and Thanksgiving,
Lisa and Gary
Lots has happened over the past 24 hours since I last posted so I will catch you up to speed.
We talked to Zach in great detail. We both read When Children Grieve before speaking to Zach and we are so thankful for that book. I know I have mentioned the book before because it deals with ALL loss (pet death, divorce, death of a relative or friend, etc...). Love this book. Anyhow, we laughed together and we cried together and we prayed together and just talked very openly and it was more than Gary and I could have hoped for. So, thank you for your prayers.
Dr. Barth came in to talk with us and he spent almost an hour talking to Gary and to me and to Zach. Nothing has really changed from the previous correspondence with the exception of our home care. We are not on Hospice as per Dr. Barth's recommendation. Gary is eating plenty and his nutritional values are better than they have ever been. His liver functions are completely normal (which is kinda scary seeing as there is cancer in there) and his cancer has shrunk (ever so slightly but it has).
We are basically putting out fires at this point in time. As long as Gary feels okay and it not being killed by his pain and has a quality of life that is acceptable to him then we can keep chasing down infections.
However, Gary has developed a fistula. Fistulas are common problems post operatively. A fistula is a "tunnel or connection" between 2 places that should not be there. So, Gary's bladder did not completely heal from the last surgery and a fistula has formed between his bladder and his wound. So, instead of his urine naturally flowing out where it should it is now coming up out of his wound and you can only imagine what a wet mess this has become. Lake Sallee is what I refer to it as. So, next week we will go to Barth's office and Gary will have 2 nephrostomy tubes placed (tubes that go into the kidney and come out of the back to drain the urine). These tubes will bypass the bladder completely which will dry up the wound. The cancer in the bladder can grow without the flow of urine and thus in theory decreasing the chance of infection.
So, as if we weren't complicated enough for all of you we have once again added another twist to Gary's care. For now I will change the wound dressing (like 20 pads that make him look 6 months preggo) every 3 or so hours to keep Gary dry. Our schedule will be like it was when we had a newborn.
BTW - Happy Thanksgiving everyone. There are so many incredible people we need to give thanks to. The miracles and love that have come out of our tragic cancer battle are abundant and overflowing. Even though we probably face the unimaginable we give thanks and give thanks and give thanks for everything God has given us. Everytime we turn around we are showered with love and support and friendship and warmth. God has always provided for us through all of you and we just thank Him and you for everything. We could never thank all of you enough -ever!
So, after Thanksgiving we will talk to the 2 other boys and then we are going to live every single day to the fullest! We will have many early Christmas celebrations and just soak everything in!
But for now we look forward to tomorrow and tomorrow we will feast on turkey until we can't button our pants (maybe we should wear elastic waist pants like Gary does every day)! We will toast all of you because that is what we are so thankful for!
We can still pray for a miracle. We also need to pray for continual peace and comfort as well. BTW - my headache is gone and I feel 100% better!
Enjoy eachother and give thanks for everything you have been given by Our Father. We are all so fortunate!
With Love and Thanksgiving,
Lisa and Gary
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
TUESDAY UPDATE
So......I am having a very hard day. In a nutshell here is the latest........
Gary is coming home tomorrow. We have a meeting with Hospice tomorrow morning to get things set up.
Gary has something wrong with his bladder and the urine is leaking up through his wound. This is not fixable.
We had CT Scans and are waiting for the results. He is on antibiotics and he is being hydrated.
We have been told that Gary will probably not be alive at Christmas but we are hoping that he will be.
The thought of planning his Memorial before Christmas is heart breaking.
I have been crying for so long and I don't want to cry anymore.
My heart hurts so much. Just thinking about Gary actually dying is so incredibly painful.
I am taking Zach up to the hospital this afternoon and Gary and I are going to talk to him tonight and tell him what is going on. We will wait to talk to the other boys until we get Gary home and situated. Barth is coming in tonight to talk to Gary and I. He will be our Hospice doctor.
We ask that you pray for us. I know how many of your hearts are breaking right along with ours. I am so sorry that we all have to go through this.
If you were to see Gary or talk to him you would never ever in a million years at this point believe that he is actually going to die. He is so talkative and eating so well (despite the 20 pound weight loss). It's so hard to believe in a way.
My stress level is through the roof right now and I have had the mother of all migraines since 4 AM. None of the medicine I have is helping right now. Steph and Stacy had to drive me home this morning because of my headeache and I have been waiting to be able to drive. Stacy is picking the boys up in a few minutes and Zach and I should be on our way.
I know I am rambling but I also know I will get to a calm place and be able to focus. God is so good and he loves both Gary and me so much. I know His heart breaks right along with ours.
The boys went to Disneyland yesterday and now they get another fun evening (except Zach). I feel like we are ambushing him. I have been looking at him all day and thinking about how he has absolutely no idea what we are going to tell him. I feel so bad. I want to be strong but I know when we tell him that we are all going to fall apart.
I know that God will provide the wisdom we need to be able to talk to the kids.
Prayers, Peace, and Love,
Lisa
Gary is coming home tomorrow. We have a meeting with Hospice tomorrow morning to get things set up.
Gary has something wrong with his bladder and the urine is leaking up through his wound. This is not fixable.
We had CT Scans and are waiting for the results. He is on antibiotics and he is being hydrated.
We have been told that Gary will probably not be alive at Christmas but we are hoping that he will be.
The thought of planning his Memorial before Christmas is heart breaking.
I have been crying for so long and I don't want to cry anymore.
My heart hurts so much. Just thinking about Gary actually dying is so incredibly painful.
I am taking Zach up to the hospital this afternoon and Gary and I are going to talk to him tonight and tell him what is going on. We will wait to talk to the other boys until we get Gary home and situated. Barth is coming in tonight to talk to Gary and I. He will be our Hospice doctor.
We ask that you pray for us. I know how many of your hearts are breaking right along with ours. I am so sorry that we all have to go through this.
If you were to see Gary or talk to him you would never ever in a million years at this point believe that he is actually going to die. He is so talkative and eating so well (despite the 20 pound weight loss). It's so hard to believe in a way.
My stress level is through the roof right now and I have had the mother of all migraines since 4 AM. None of the medicine I have is helping right now. Steph and Stacy had to drive me home this morning because of my headeache and I have been waiting to be able to drive. Stacy is picking the boys up in a few minutes and Zach and I should be on our way.
I know I am rambling but I also know I will get to a calm place and be able to focus. God is so good and he loves both Gary and me so much. I know His heart breaks right along with ours.
The boys went to Disneyland yesterday and now they get another fun evening (except Zach). I feel like we are ambushing him. I have been looking at him all day and thinking about how he has absolutely no idea what we are going to tell him. I feel so bad. I want to be strong but I know when we tell him that we are all going to fall apart.
I know that God will provide the wisdom we need to be able to talk to the kids.
Prayers, Peace, and Love,
Lisa
Monday, November 24, 2008
Monday
Hi again.
We are on our way to Hoag now. Gary is being admitted to the 8th floor I think.
I will update tomorrow as to what is going on.
Don't freak. Nothing urgent - I think.........
Love, L
We are on our way to Hoag now. Gary is being admitted to the 8th floor I think.
I will update tomorrow as to what is going on.
Don't freak. Nothing urgent - I think.........
Love, L
MONDAY EARLY MORNING
Good Morning.
We just got home from Hoag. What a very long night.
I will not bother to bore you with details other than to say that we are not sure what is going on. We know that Gary has an infection because his white blood count is 28,000 (normal is 4,000-11,000). It might be the original C Diff or it might be a urinary infection that is irritating the intestines and causing fluid absorbtion in the intestine rather than the bladder (which would account for the lack of urine and the mass output in the illeostomy). They started him on 2 different antibiotics tonight.
So, we will wait for the cultures to come back and talk with the Infectious Disease Doctor in the morning. They wanted to admit Gary but after all this time of getting to know the routine and knowing that we can care for him at home we asked that he be able to come home so that we could bypass the dreaded hospital stay. Thank God for Dr. Carroll (Barth's partner) because he backed up our decision and here we are!!!
We are unwinding now and hopefully able to fall asleep. My migraine just went away and thank God I forgot to give Michele her Excedrin back because it squashed that dang headache tonight! I feel so bad because over the past few days I missed Jenn's awesome Creative Memories Party and I missed Wendy's surprise party. I will have to make it up to them as long as they don't hold their breath waiting for me to do so!!! :)
Off to hopefully a peaceful slumber! I am suppose to take the kids to Disneyland today with Steph. I guess we will see how that goes! I need to set up doctor appointments, get drugs sent to the house, and get Hospice in place within the next few days. We are going to pick our Hospice Company and doctor this week. Should be lots of fun!!!
Thank you for your love and prayers and I will let you all know what's happening as soon as we find out.
Good Night (or morning for those of you who are getting up and going to work).
Love, L
We just got home from Hoag. What a very long night.
I will not bother to bore you with details other than to say that we are not sure what is going on. We know that Gary has an infection because his white blood count is 28,000 (normal is 4,000-11,000). It might be the original C Diff or it might be a urinary infection that is irritating the intestines and causing fluid absorbtion in the intestine rather than the bladder (which would account for the lack of urine and the mass output in the illeostomy). They started him on 2 different antibiotics tonight.
So, we will wait for the cultures to come back and talk with the Infectious Disease Doctor in the morning. They wanted to admit Gary but after all this time of getting to know the routine and knowing that we can care for him at home we asked that he be able to come home so that we could bypass the dreaded hospital stay. Thank God for Dr. Carroll (Barth's partner) because he backed up our decision and here we are!!!
We are unwinding now and hopefully able to fall asleep. My migraine just went away and thank God I forgot to give Michele her Excedrin back because it squashed that dang headache tonight! I feel so bad because over the past few days I missed Jenn's awesome Creative Memories Party and I missed Wendy's surprise party. I will have to make it up to them as long as they don't hold their breath waiting for me to do so!!! :)
Off to hopefully a peaceful slumber! I am suppose to take the kids to Disneyland today with Steph. I guess we will see how that goes! I need to set up doctor appointments, get drugs sent to the house, and get Hospice in place within the next few days. We are going to pick our Hospice Company and doctor this week. Should be lots of fun!!!
Thank you for your love and prayers and I will let you all know what's happening as soon as we find out.
Good Night (or morning for those of you who are getting up and going to work).
Love, L
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Sunday Night
HI everyone.
I just wanted you all to be praying for us as we head to the ER at Hoag. Gary's urine output has not improved and his C Diff seems to be out of control. He does not feel sick or bad besides the usual pain but we have to get him checked to find out what is going wrong besides the obvious.
Please keep us in our prayers as I think we might be faced with very tough news and decisions tonight regarding where to go from here with Gary's care.
Love Always,
Lisa
I just wanted you all to be praying for us as we head to the ER at Hoag. Gary's urine output has not improved and his C Diff seems to be out of control. He does not feel sick or bad besides the usual pain but we have to get him checked to find out what is going wrong besides the obvious.
Please keep us in our prayers as I think we might be faced with very tough news and decisions tonight regarding where to go from here with Gary's care.
Love Always,
Lisa
Sunday Morning
I woke up at 1 AM and Gary had a 103.4 fever. I have been hydrating him for days and he has been drinking but has little urine output. My thoughts and fears is that this tumor in his bladder is either doing 1 of 2 things. It is either growing partially in front of the super pubic tube or it has caused a tear in the bladder wall and he is leaking into his body. Now, I am not a doctor and I could be totally wrong.
We might have to go to the ER today instead of waiting to call doctors tomorrow. I do not want him to become septic. I am going to wait and see how he is doing to make a decision. I think at this point (although he is not ready to give up by any means) I need to get Hospice on board because they can help with all of these decisions.
I just wanted to give you a brief update to let you know what was happening with Gary.
I hope you all have a very blessed Sunday!
Love, Lisa
We might have to go to the ER today instead of waiting to call doctors tomorrow. I do not want him to become septic. I am going to wait and see how he is doing to make a decision. I think at this point (although he is not ready to give up by any means) I need to get Hospice on board because they can help with all of these decisions.
I just wanted to give you a brief update to let you know what was happening with Gary.
I hope you all have a very blessed Sunday!
Love, Lisa
Saturday, November 22, 2008
DIET NO GO
Hi everyone.
Well, Gary does not want to do the diet we were going to try. He feels so crappy most of the time and it is hard enough to get him to eat "normal" food. It is just too much of a struggle to keep up with this new lifestyle. We are still going to make some changes with our food. We will have no more soda and cut back on sugar and processed foods. We will limit our red meat and cut back on the carbs. Gary and I will still be taking the supplements and I will try to stick to the more stringent diet.
Gary and I have had many conversations about him dying lately. My head hurts and I am emotionally exhausted from talking about all of this and thinking about it constantly. We are both scared and worried and nervous and more than sad could ever be. So much to talk about (you can only imagine) and we are unsure as to how much time we have left together.
Today we had an amazing surprise! Liz and all of the wonderful people she works with (Along with Patrick - the professional light installer/electrician) came to our house and were there ALL afternoon hanging lights all over the outside of our house! What an awesome gift to our family! We were amazed that people that do not even know us came to bring special holiday cheer to us. WOW. The house looks great and if anyone needs to hire someone to do their lights Patrick and his company were excellent and nice and helpful and they did a great job!!
Gary is going to try and go to our Thanksgiving service tomorrow morning. It would be great to have him there with us!
Home Group is coming tomorrow night and the kids had a very busy weekend!
Off to bed cause I am a sleepy head! Pray that Gary can get some rest tonight!
Love and Warm Hugs,
L
Well, Gary does not want to do the diet we were going to try. He feels so crappy most of the time and it is hard enough to get him to eat "normal" food. It is just too much of a struggle to keep up with this new lifestyle. We are still going to make some changes with our food. We will have no more soda and cut back on sugar and processed foods. We will limit our red meat and cut back on the carbs. Gary and I will still be taking the supplements and I will try to stick to the more stringent diet.
Gary and I have had many conversations about him dying lately. My head hurts and I am emotionally exhausted from talking about all of this and thinking about it constantly. We are both scared and worried and nervous and more than sad could ever be. So much to talk about (you can only imagine) and we are unsure as to how much time we have left together.
Today we had an amazing surprise! Liz and all of the wonderful people she works with (Along with Patrick - the professional light installer/electrician) came to our house and were there ALL afternoon hanging lights all over the outside of our house! What an awesome gift to our family! We were amazed that people that do not even know us came to bring special holiday cheer to us. WOW. The house looks great and if anyone needs to hire someone to do their lights Patrick and his company were excellent and nice and helpful and they did a great job!!
Gary is going to try and go to our Thanksgiving service tomorrow morning. It would be great to have him there with us!
Home Group is coming tomorrow night and the kids had a very busy weekend!
Off to bed cause I am a sleepy head! Pray that Gary can get some rest tonight!
Love and Warm Hugs,
L
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
4 DAY RECAP
Wow. So busy and so sorry for keeping all of you in the dark for the past 4 days. So much has happened so I will write this blog in segments with titles so that you can skip around if you like.
C DIFF - Round 2
Gary has C Diff once again. This time it is not so bad because I knew what to look for and I caught it right away. Gary is on Flagyl again to combat the C Diff and has had some fevers but not too many. I have had to medicate him pretty heavily the past few days because of pain and he is starting to shake a little and studder. I hope his system gets used to the increase of pain meds again and that the apparent symptoms from the drugs go away. I think he is having an allergic reaction to something because his eyes are red and his nose is watering. We'll get it all figured out.
NO MORE CHEMO - On to a Cancer Free Diet!!
So, I am getting hyponotized on Friday so that I can endure this diet. There are officially no other treatments options available to Gary. When Stacy found out I was getting hyponitized she wanted to come along to see if she could change a few more things about me! HA HA.
No more chemo and no clinical trials. Nothing. Zero. Zilch. Dr. Barth has taken us as far as we can go and we are so thankful to him for his medical expertise and knowledge. Gary is not sold on Hospice coming in yet and we will wait until we get the green light from him.
So, we are going to go an alternative route and we are going to follow this book called Cancer Free by Bill Henderson. In a nutshell, RAW RAW RAW! Nothing else. Sprouted breads and raw veges. Hello! I never eat raw veges and sprouted breads. This is going to be very difficult for me. Hypnosis is going to help because I REALLY want to do this to not only get very healthy but to see if we can help Gary. Loads of supplements as well. Pray for me and for Gary as we give up dairy, sugar, DIET COKE, pasta, LICORICE, meat, chicken, fish, sauces, butter, herbs, and the list goes on and on and on..........I CAN DO THIS!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAX
Yesterday marked Jax's 6th year of life! He is not going to have ap arty this year simply because I can't take on the planning of an event like that right now. So, he will have to suffer with Ruby's and a new Build A Bear! Poor guy! Nate will suffer the same fate as his birthday is here is 9 days. He will probably pick something different to do for our "family dinner" - which BTW I can't eat anyhow!
USC - Beyond our Wildest Dreams
So, the Beckstrand Corp. is a non-profit company that seek to help families who are suffering the effects from cancer. They are able to help so many families and yesterday they certainly helped our family.
Will Collins just graduated from USC and played on Sc's football team as their only long and short snapper. He is humble and I had to dig around on the internet last night to find out what a great player he was!
Beckstrand arranged for Will to meet us up at SC yesterday and Will gave Gary and the boys the time of their lives! Jenn and Cole were able to come with us as Jenn guided us around the campus before we met Will and into the bookstore where the boys found some awesome hats and stuffed animals!
Will introduced us to basically the entire football team and we stayed on the field until practice was over and the media swarmed in for interviews. Will, Pete Carroll and the USC Football team presented Gary with a signed ball and the boys got their t-shirts, hats, and posters signed by some of the members of the team as well. Nick Sanchez (Mark's Dad) was so incredibly kind as he wheeled Gary around the field and made sure he was bundled up with his blanket.
There are no words to tell you how awesome the experience was. Jenn was able to take about 200 photographs and I will have those soon. Pete joined us once again at the end with Will and Nick and told our family that we can come up to the field whenever we want to sit and watch practice and hang out. We even have a special number to call to make that happen! The boys were overjoyed - especially Zachary!
What an amazing time and our thanks to Lil and to Will for making it happen. Will was the best contact because he walked us through their entire practice and told us how they do everything and why. It was so incredibly interesting and such a privilege. Might i say how HUGELY GINORMOUS those players are. Some of the guys are smaller but the average player is around 6'2" or 6'3" and about 220-230 LBS!
I can't say enough and I can't wait for you all to see some of the photos!
I have to get going to get ready for my meeting and for the boys to get home. We have a busy night again with our neighbor's birthday party and playdates!
Have the best day ever!
Love,
Lisa
C DIFF - Round 2
Gary has C Diff once again. This time it is not so bad because I knew what to look for and I caught it right away. Gary is on Flagyl again to combat the C Diff and has had some fevers but not too many. I have had to medicate him pretty heavily the past few days because of pain and he is starting to shake a little and studder. I hope his system gets used to the increase of pain meds again and that the apparent symptoms from the drugs go away. I think he is having an allergic reaction to something because his eyes are red and his nose is watering. We'll get it all figured out.
NO MORE CHEMO - On to a Cancer Free Diet!!
So, I am getting hyponotized on Friday so that I can endure this diet. There are officially no other treatments options available to Gary. When Stacy found out I was getting hyponitized she wanted to come along to see if she could change a few more things about me! HA HA.
No more chemo and no clinical trials. Nothing. Zero. Zilch. Dr. Barth has taken us as far as we can go and we are so thankful to him for his medical expertise and knowledge. Gary is not sold on Hospice coming in yet and we will wait until we get the green light from him.
So, we are going to go an alternative route and we are going to follow this book called Cancer Free by Bill Henderson. In a nutshell, RAW RAW RAW! Nothing else. Sprouted breads and raw veges. Hello! I never eat raw veges and sprouted breads. This is going to be very difficult for me. Hypnosis is going to help because I REALLY want to do this to not only get very healthy but to see if we can help Gary. Loads of supplements as well. Pray for me and for Gary as we give up dairy, sugar, DIET COKE, pasta, LICORICE, meat, chicken, fish, sauces, butter, herbs, and the list goes on and on and on..........I CAN DO THIS!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAX
Yesterday marked Jax's 6th year of life! He is not going to have ap arty this year simply because I can't take on the planning of an event like that right now. So, he will have to suffer with Ruby's and a new Build A Bear! Poor guy! Nate will suffer the same fate as his birthday is here is 9 days. He will probably pick something different to do for our "family dinner" - which BTW I can't eat anyhow!
USC - Beyond our Wildest Dreams
So, the Beckstrand Corp. is a non-profit company that seek to help families who are suffering the effects from cancer. They are able to help so many families and yesterday they certainly helped our family.
Will Collins just graduated from USC and played on Sc's football team as their only long and short snapper. He is humble and I had to dig around on the internet last night to find out what a great player he was!
Beckstrand arranged for Will to meet us up at SC yesterday and Will gave Gary and the boys the time of their lives! Jenn and Cole were able to come with us as Jenn guided us around the campus before we met Will and into the bookstore where the boys found some awesome hats and stuffed animals!
Will introduced us to basically the entire football team and we stayed on the field until practice was over and the media swarmed in for interviews. Will, Pete Carroll and the USC Football team presented Gary with a signed ball and the boys got their t-shirts, hats, and posters signed by some of the members of the team as well. Nick Sanchez (Mark's Dad) was so incredibly kind as he wheeled Gary around the field and made sure he was bundled up with his blanket.
There are no words to tell you how awesome the experience was. Jenn was able to take about 200 photographs and I will have those soon. Pete joined us once again at the end with Will and Nick and told our family that we can come up to the field whenever we want to sit and watch practice and hang out. We even have a special number to call to make that happen! The boys were overjoyed - especially Zachary!
What an amazing time and our thanks to Lil and to Will for making it happen. Will was the best contact because he walked us through their entire practice and told us how they do everything and why. It was so incredibly interesting and such a privilege. Might i say how HUGELY GINORMOUS those players are. Some of the guys are smaller but the average player is around 6'2" or 6'3" and about 220-230 LBS!
I can't say enough and I can't wait for you all to see some of the photos!
I have to get going to get ready for my meeting and for the boys to get home. We have a busy night again with our neighbor's birthday party and playdates!
Have the best day ever!
Love,
Lisa
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday Night
Hey everyone.
Today was a little bit of a better day for Gary! We'll take it!
We are debating going another round of chemo. We don't have all of the info we need to make the decision yet so we are taking the weekend to figure some things out. I have to research this new drug to see if there would be any benefit from doing this.
Gary finished Round 2 of 10 radiation treatments today. Such a long drive for 7 minutes in the Linear Accelerator. Hopefully it will help with the pain.
The Poole's are coming over for our usualy Friday night dinner together and we will once again have Big O To Go! Gary loves his pizza and his time with Todd & Suzi!!!
Zach and I are kickin it on the couch in Gary's room and the little guys are taking showers. They all smelled like little puppies when they came home from school today. It is so darn hot and they play so hard.
We are looking forward to a down weekend. Hopefully I can rest my back and it will begin to feel better. Taking that wheelchair in and out of the car and helping Gary everyday is wrenching my lower back but he's worth the pain!
I hope all of you have an exciting Friday night!
Thanks for your prayers!!!
xoxo,
Lisa
Today was a little bit of a better day for Gary! We'll take it!
We are debating going another round of chemo. We don't have all of the info we need to make the decision yet so we are taking the weekend to figure some things out. I have to research this new drug to see if there would be any benefit from doing this.
Gary finished Round 2 of 10 radiation treatments today. Such a long drive for 7 minutes in the Linear Accelerator. Hopefully it will help with the pain.
The Poole's are coming over for our usualy Friday night dinner together and we will once again have Big O To Go! Gary loves his pizza and his time with Todd & Suzi!!!
Zach and I are kickin it on the couch in Gary's room and the little guys are taking showers. They all smelled like little puppies when they came home from school today. It is so darn hot and they play so hard.
We are looking forward to a down weekend. Hopefully I can rest my back and it will begin to feel better. Taking that wheelchair in and out of the car and helping Gary everyday is wrenching my lower back but he's worth the pain!
I hope all of you have an exciting Friday night!
Thanks for your prayers!!!
xoxo,
Lisa
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Thursday November 13
Another day. Joyce and GiGi and Judy came out to visit from La Quinta today and it was great to see them. Gary's Dad is unable to come and visit us. He is in so much pain from compression fractures caused by the myeloma. Both he and Gary sit in their beds all day on opposite sides of the country in so much pain and it is such a sad set of circumstances for both of them.
Zach had a great time on the Pilgrim last night and he was exhausted tonight. The boys are all ready to hit the sack tonight! Jax is putting a smile on my face and he is sitting on the couch next to me singing a song from his upcoming Tom & Tilly Thanksgiving Performance. He only knows one verse but I think I need to adpot it as my motto - I am happy and I have nothing to fear.
I just love that and I need to put that into action. I have done so well until now managing fear and stress. Now, I am feeling it and it is taking its toll on me. For those of you who know me well I do not like drama nor do I function well with drama. I hate things to be out of control and do not deal with stress and fear or confrontation- especially when it comes to what we are very possibly facing. I like to know what is happening so that I can best prepare for things (Gary is getting chemo so in 4 days we will start looking at his counts and he will most likely have transfusions. Gary is getting a scan so that we can see what is going on with his cancer and we get the results quickly. ) I can plan for those things. Now there seems to be no plan. No timeline. No goal. We are merely existing and just waiting and praying.
Given our present set of circumstances I find myself being filled with fear intermittently and I hate feeling like that. It is horrible. The thought of Gary dying makes me sick most days. Do I wish for him to suffer? Of course not. I wish for him to have an earthly healing and if that is not possible I am not so selfish that I would want him to suffer here on earth until he is old and gray. Some days I look at him and I am filled with hope that he will overcome this. Other days I look at him and watch him writhe in pain and I feel like he is slipping away from me.
Gary is my best friend. I can completely and totally be myself with him at all times and I can tell him anything. I confide in him, ask him to help me change when I need to change and trust him completely. I am truly myself with him all the time. He never judges me or criticizes me in a negative way. He laughs at my jokes and rubs my feet when they hurt. He makes me want to be a better person.
Every morning he used to sit and drink his coffee and write me a little love letter - every single day! I loved waking up to those and I have saved them all!!! He scratched my back and he drove me around when our family ran errands. He was my DD so that I could have a drink at dinner (our family has the 1 drink no drive policy). He did the laundry and the dishes and took care of all of the handyman stuff around the house. He took the trash out and locked the house up every night. He said prayers with the kids and I and he even has been known to scour tubs and toilets! He has made me feel safe and so loved and he opened the door for me when we went out and always let me watch "chick shows" at night. He worked on the cars and fixed the appliances. My heavens - he did so much for us. I wish every day that things were still the same................
But, they aren't and I miss those things terribly. I want that back and I know I will most likely not have those things again unless he is healed miraculously.
All of the little things mean so much. I know when you are married or in a relationship you end up bickering sometimes and nit picking at the littlest things about eachother. I will tell you right now that none of those little things matter. None of those things. It seems like a waste of time to get cranky and yucky.
We should always look for the positive in people and situations instead of focusing on negative things. It's kinda like when we go to a restaurant or a hotel and we get bad service or something doesn't go right and we are so quick to complain. We should be just as eager if not more eager to compliment people or places when we see or experience good things. Too much negativity in the world if you ask me.
My friend Kathy has a license plate that I have always loved. PRACTICE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS. I think that is such a great saying. You all have been so kind to our family and for that we are so grateful. I hope we can pass the kindness forward someday soon. Our 3 boys will grow up being taught to be kind, have giving hearts and to always be full of love.
I hope all of you can pray for me. I am stressed over several things. I obviously have fear for our future. The uncertainty and lack of direction we have now is overwhelming and scary. Please pray that Gary can sit down and talk with Dr. Barth about options and direction.
We have a big surprise for Gary and the boys on Tuesday and I will blog about it Tuesday night when it is all said and done. It should be the perfect afternoon - barring Gary is feeling halfway decent.
I hope you all have a great evening and please remember to say something really nice to someone at some point in time this week and remember to be happy!
Love and Hugs,
Lisa
Zach had a great time on the Pilgrim last night and he was exhausted tonight. The boys are all ready to hit the sack tonight! Jax is putting a smile on my face and he is sitting on the couch next to me singing a song from his upcoming Tom & Tilly Thanksgiving Performance. He only knows one verse but I think I need to adpot it as my motto - I am happy and I have nothing to fear.
I just love that and I need to put that into action. I have done so well until now managing fear and stress. Now, I am feeling it and it is taking its toll on me. For those of you who know me well I do not like drama nor do I function well with drama. I hate things to be out of control and do not deal with stress and fear or confrontation- especially when it comes to what we are very possibly facing. I like to know what is happening so that I can best prepare for things (Gary is getting chemo so in 4 days we will start looking at his counts and he will most likely have transfusions. Gary is getting a scan so that we can see what is going on with his cancer and we get the results quickly. ) I can plan for those things. Now there seems to be no plan. No timeline. No goal. We are merely existing and just waiting and praying.
Given our present set of circumstances I find myself being filled with fear intermittently and I hate feeling like that. It is horrible. The thought of Gary dying makes me sick most days. Do I wish for him to suffer? Of course not. I wish for him to have an earthly healing and if that is not possible I am not so selfish that I would want him to suffer here on earth until he is old and gray. Some days I look at him and I am filled with hope that he will overcome this. Other days I look at him and watch him writhe in pain and I feel like he is slipping away from me.
Gary is my best friend. I can completely and totally be myself with him at all times and I can tell him anything. I confide in him, ask him to help me change when I need to change and trust him completely. I am truly myself with him all the time. He never judges me or criticizes me in a negative way. He laughs at my jokes and rubs my feet when they hurt. He makes me want to be a better person.
Every morning he used to sit and drink his coffee and write me a little love letter - every single day! I loved waking up to those and I have saved them all!!! He scratched my back and he drove me around when our family ran errands. He was my DD so that I could have a drink at dinner (our family has the 1 drink no drive policy). He did the laundry and the dishes and took care of all of the handyman stuff around the house. He took the trash out and locked the house up every night. He said prayers with the kids and I and he even has been known to scour tubs and toilets! He has made me feel safe and so loved and he opened the door for me when we went out and always let me watch "chick shows" at night. He worked on the cars and fixed the appliances. My heavens - he did so much for us. I wish every day that things were still the same................
But, they aren't and I miss those things terribly. I want that back and I know I will most likely not have those things again unless he is healed miraculously.
All of the little things mean so much. I know when you are married or in a relationship you end up bickering sometimes and nit picking at the littlest things about eachother. I will tell you right now that none of those little things matter. None of those things. It seems like a waste of time to get cranky and yucky.
We should always look for the positive in people and situations instead of focusing on negative things. It's kinda like when we go to a restaurant or a hotel and we get bad service or something doesn't go right and we are so quick to complain. We should be just as eager if not more eager to compliment people or places when we see or experience good things. Too much negativity in the world if you ask me.
My friend Kathy has a license plate that I have always loved. PRACTICE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS. I think that is such a great saying. You all have been so kind to our family and for that we are so grateful. I hope we can pass the kindness forward someday soon. Our 3 boys will grow up being taught to be kind, have giving hearts and to always be full of love.
I hope all of you can pray for me. I am stressed over several things. I obviously have fear for our future. The uncertainty and lack of direction we have now is overwhelming and scary. Please pray that Gary can sit down and talk with Dr. Barth about options and direction.
We have a big surprise for Gary and the boys on Tuesday and I will blog about it Tuesday night when it is all said and done. It should be the perfect afternoon - barring Gary is feeling halfway decent.
I hope you all have a great evening and please remember to say something really nice to someone at some point in time this week and remember to be happy!
Love and Hugs,
Lisa
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Tuesday November 11
Good Evening.
Today was not a good day for both Gary and me. Gary was not feeling well all day and he has been having extreme bouts of sweating. I think he is having what doctors refer to as cancer sweats and I hate to even admit that or say it.
I am worried about him and I just want to see him comfortable.
We saw Dr. Gluzman (pain management) and Nicole (physician assistant to Barth) today and we are waiting for the results of Gary's kidney function. If his function is good then he can stay on Toradol (his wonder pain drug). If the levels are off then we have to take a break and we will figure something else out.
Gary slept from about 1:30 until 6:30 tonight. He is just exhausted. We were up ALL NIGHT last night and I gave him more pain meds today to help him to sleep and rest. It worked.
I sat in the parking lot at Target with Zach tonight as we both cried and cried and cried and had a conversation that no Mom should ever have to have with her 9 year-old son. Zach has been piecing things together and it was time that I talk to him and let him know what is going on right now. I told him that the doctors could not help Daddy anymore with medicine. I told him that we were not doing anymore chemo and that basically we are hoping and praying for a miracle. I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack and I have felt like that a lot lately. I could feel my heart beating so hard and I hate feeling like that. Zach understands oh too much and my heart hurts for the boys. I try not to think about it too much but sometimes trying doesn't always work. I know we will have many more conversations and I know it is healthy but it is so incredibly hard. With God we can do anything. Although we have begun talking to the kids I still ask that no one says a word to them about Gary's condition. We need time to do that and I do not want them hearing things from other people. I thank you all in advance for that.
Gary and Jax are in Gary's hospital bed snuggling right now. Jax is such a great snuggler and Gary so enjoys that. He is just the right size to fit right next to Gary. Gary has a very content look on his face. I think it is the combination of Jax being with him and the HUGE bowl of Captain Crunch he just devoured!
Zach is spending the night on the Pilgrim tomorrow night so I have been getting him ready for that! He is really excited and it should be a great learning experience.
The last baseball game of the season will be Sunday and I am looking forward to the break for a few months. With everything going on it will be 6 less things on the calendar each week!
I am still under the weather and have this irritating cough - like a tickle in my throat - that is lingering and lingering. Nate is coughing and Jax has a runny nose. Hopefully Zach, Gary and my Mom can stay totally healthy.
We have Pastor Vaswig coming over to the house at 9:45 AM tomorrow morning to pray with us. He is a well-known healing pastor and I had contacted the church a while back to see if he would be available to pray with our family. We are happy to have him come over and pray over us and for us.
Off to put the wild boys to bed!
We love you all and are still on a high from the AMAZING B-DAY PARTY!!!!
Thank you all.
XOXO
Lisa
Today was not a good day for both Gary and me. Gary was not feeling well all day and he has been having extreme bouts of sweating. I think he is having what doctors refer to as cancer sweats and I hate to even admit that or say it.
I am worried about him and I just want to see him comfortable.
We saw Dr. Gluzman (pain management) and Nicole (physician assistant to Barth) today and we are waiting for the results of Gary's kidney function. If his function is good then he can stay on Toradol (his wonder pain drug). If the levels are off then we have to take a break and we will figure something else out.
Gary slept from about 1:30 until 6:30 tonight. He is just exhausted. We were up ALL NIGHT last night and I gave him more pain meds today to help him to sleep and rest. It worked.
I sat in the parking lot at Target with Zach tonight as we both cried and cried and cried and had a conversation that no Mom should ever have to have with her 9 year-old son. Zach has been piecing things together and it was time that I talk to him and let him know what is going on right now. I told him that the doctors could not help Daddy anymore with medicine. I told him that we were not doing anymore chemo and that basically we are hoping and praying for a miracle. I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack and I have felt like that a lot lately. I could feel my heart beating so hard and I hate feeling like that. Zach understands oh too much and my heart hurts for the boys. I try not to think about it too much but sometimes trying doesn't always work. I know we will have many more conversations and I know it is healthy but it is so incredibly hard. With God we can do anything. Although we have begun talking to the kids I still ask that no one says a word to them about Gary's condition. We need time to do that and I do not want them hearing things from other people. I thank you all in advance for that.
Gary and Jax are in Gary's hospital bed snuggling right now. Jax is such a great snuggler and Gary so enjoys that. He is just the right size to fit right next to Gary. Gary has a very content look on his face. I think it is the combination of Jax being with him and the HUGE bowl of Captain Crunch he just devoured!
Zach is spending the night on the Pilgrim tomorrow night so I have been getting him ready for that! He is really excited and it should be a great learning experience.
The last baseball game of the season will be Sunday and I am looking forward to the break for a few months. With everything going on it will be 6 less things on the calendar each week!
I am still under the weather and have this irritating cough - like a tickle in my throat - that is lingering and lingering. Nate is coughing and Jax has a runny nose. Hopefully Zach, Gary and my Mom can stay totally healthy.
We have Pastor Vaswig coming over to the house at 9:45 AM tomorrow morning to pray with us. He is a well-known healing pastor and I had contacted the church a while back to see if he would be available to pray with our family. We are happy to have him come over and pray over us and for us.
Off to put the wild boys to bed!
We love you all and are still on a high from the AMAZING B-DAY PARTY!!!!
Thank you all.
XOXO
Lisa
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WITH A BANG!
I feel bad for those of you who missed Gary's Birthday! What a party to honor such an incredible man! I think we both expected a whole lotta people but we never expected as many as we had. People we see, people we haven't seen in a while, old friends, new friends, baseball friends, church friends, family friends, kids, and on and on and on! Gary's brother Mike and his sister Terry flew in to surprise Gary for his birthday and the boys loved meeting them and hanging out with them.
We had over 150 people at our house to celebrate Gary. The most amazing thing about his party - every single person that came WANTED to be there. None of these people came because they work with him or for him and no one came out of obligation. That many people love Gary and our family because Gary is such a great guy! Now that's a legacy! Gary had a smile for 5 hours and he told me that he felt like Santa Clause! He loved taking photos with all of you and between Jenn and Brent and Kayla and whoever else took pictures we should have some great ones!
We talked to the boys as we were reading all of your cards and opening up gifts and they were able to really hear how much their Dad is loved and that is such a special gift you gave to us on Sunday!
Gary received over 50 beanies and the boys have already had quite the fashion show with the beanies! He got gift cards and cash and books and shirts and candles and movies and so much more I can't even recall! What a GREAT BIRTHDAY!
Thank you all ofr coming and sharing this day with Gary and me and the boys. You have no idea how special it was to our whole family.
Thank you to all of my girlfriends who made this so much easier for me - shopping, cakes, trash, photographs, memory board, cooking, cleaning up (the boys helped, too! - lots and lots!!!), setting up and everything else. I could not have pulled this off without all of you! XOXO
Well, yesterday was not a good day. I ended up having to cancel all of his appointments because he was in so much pain. Today we will go see Dr. Gluzman and see what we can do about his pain management. Radiation will start Wednesday now. Who knows when we will go see Barth and we need to see Ashkenaze to get his staples removed from his back and hip. We are going to the Montage today to have out family photo taken for our Christmas cards. I hope Gary feels well enough to go!
We started talking about Christmas yesterday and I asked Gary what he wanted. With tears in his eyes he asked if I could give him a couple more months so he could be with me and the boys longer. That broke my heart in a million pieces because I want to give that to him.
Gary's Dad has been diagnosed with myeloma and we are waiting for the results from the bone marrow sample they took to see the extent of the cancer and to see exactly what kind it is. We will know within the next few weeks and in the meantime Gary's Dad and Mom will be coming here at the end of the week/beginning of next week to see us and spend some time with Gary. Gary is very happy.
I had better start getting ready for my day. Time gets away from me most days and before I know it half the day is over.
The boys, Hobie, Gary and my Mom are still sleeping. It is nice and quiet here.
Here are some things I ask all of you to pray about for our family.
1. Pray for pain management for Gary. I feel like we have been praying for that for a long time now.
2. Pray for a miracle for healing for Gary. Remember, God can come in at any time.
There is so much to pray for and I will add some more requests tonight.
Love to you all,
Lisa :)
We had over 150 people at our house to celebrate Gary. The most amazing thing about his party - every single person that came WANTED to be there. None of these people came because they work with him or for him and no one came out of obligation. That many people love Gary and our family because Gary is such a great guy! Now that's a legacy! Gary had a smile for 5 hours and he told me that he felt like Santa Clause! He loved taking photos with all of you and between Jenn and Brent and Kayla and whoever else took pictures we should have some great ones!
We talked to the boys as we were reading all of your cards and opening up gifts and they were able to really hear how much their Dad is loved and that is such a special gift you gave to us on Sunday!
Gary received over 50 beanies and the boys have already had quite the fashion show with the beanies! He got gift cards and cash and books and shirts and candles and movies and so much more I can't even recall! What a GREAT BIRTHDAY!
Thank you all ofr coming and sharing this day with Gary and me and the boys. You have no idea how special it was to our whole family.
Thank you to all of my girlfriends who made this so much easier for me - shopping, cakes, trash, photographs, memory board, cooking, cleaning up (the boys helped, too! - lots and lots!!!), setting up and everything else. I could not have pulled this off without all of you! XOXO
Well, yesterday was not a good day. I ended up having to cancel all of his appointments because he was in so much pain. Today we will go see Dr. Gluzman and see what we can do about his pain management. Radiation will start Wednesday now. Who knows when we will go see Barth and we need to see Ashkenaze to get his staples removed from his back and hip. We are going to the Montage today to have out family photo taken for our Christmas cards. I hope Gary feels well enough to go!
We started talking about Christmas yesterday and I asked Gary what he wanted. With tears in his eyes he asked if I could give him a couple more months so he could be with me and the boys longer. That broke my heart in a million pieces because I want to give that to him.
Gary's Dad has been diagnosed with myeloma and we are waiting for the results from the bone marrow sample they took to see the extent of the cancer and to see exactly what kind it is. We will know within the next few weeks and in the meantime Gary's Dad and Mom will be coming here at the end of the week/beginning of next week to see us and spend some time with Gary. Gary is very happy.
I had better start getting ready for my day. Time gets away from me most days and before I know it half the day is over.
The boys, Hobie, Gary and my Mom are still sleeping. It is nice and quiet here.
Here are some things I ask all of you to pray about for our family.
1. Pray for pain management for Gary. I feel like we have been praying for that for a long time now.
2. Pray for a miracle for healing for Gary. Remember, God can come in at any time.
There is so much to pray for and I will add some more requests tonight.
Love to you all,
Lisa :)
Friday, November 7, 2008
Gary is home
I have a prayer request from Gary.
He is asking for your continued prayers and for everyone to keep praying for a spontaneous remission. We are both overwhelmed with your thoughts and love and support and prayers. We thank you all. This is an incredibly difficult time for our family and it has been such an emotional week.
My main concern is Gary and the boys right now. I am also worried about Gary's Mom and Dad as they battle his father's cancer. It is awful that both father and son are suffering at the same time.
We start radiation on Monday at 2:30 PM and we this course will last about 2 weeks. This will hopefully help with the pain in Gary's leg. At some point in time we will have to see Barth again and Gary's pain Management Doc, Arie Gluzman. As Gary becomes weaker we will make the decision to bring Hospice in. Right now Gary looks GREAT and we will take it while we can get it!
Dr. Mazi came over tonight to talk to Gary. He is so incredibly kind and caring and it is so special that he checks in on us and helps us with whatever we need.
I hope Gary feels well enough to eat breakfast with the boys tomorrow. They are looking forward to it and I am banking on Gary being able to actually go to the restaurant.
I am going to start videotaping everything starting tomorrow. We are both really looking forward to Gary's birthday party. I will enlist the help of someone to take photos at the party of Gary with all of you. I hope so many of you show up. Gary needs to know how special he is!
I am going to bed. I am under the weather. I am sure that lack of sleep and stress have contributed to my dry throat and extreme exhaustion. Now that we are home we can hopefully get some sleep.
Please pray for us and we love you.
Blessings in Abundance,
Lisa
He is asking for your continued prayers and for everyone to keep praying for a spontaneous remission. We are both overwhelmed with your thoughts and love and support and prayers. We thank you all. This is an incredibly difficult time for our family and it has been such an emotional week.
My main concern is Gary and the boys right now. I am also worried about Gary's Mom and Dad as they battle his father's cancer. It is awful that both father and son are suffering at the same time.
We start radiation on Monday at 2:30 PM and we this course will last about 2 weeks. This will hopefully help with the pain in Gary's leg. At some point in time we will have to see Barth again and Gary's pain Management Doc, Arie Gluzman. As Gary becomes weaker we will make the decision to bring Hospice in. Right now Gary looks GREAT and we will take it while we can get it!
Dr. Mazi came over tonight to talk to Gary. He is so incredibly kind and caring and it is so special that he checks in on us and helps us with whatever we need.
I hope Gary feels well enough to eat breakfast with the boys tomorrow. They are looking forward to it and I am banking on Gary being able to actually go to the restaurant.
I am going to start videotaping everything starting tomorrow. We are both really looking forward to Gary's birthday party. I will enlist the help of someone to take photos at the party of Gary with all of you. I hope so many of you show up. Gary needs to know how special he is!
I am going to bed. I am under the weather. I am sure that lack of sleep and stress have contributed to my dry throat and extreme exhaustion. Now that we are home we can hopefully get some sleep.
Please pray for us and we love you.
Blessings in Abundance,
Lisa
Thursday NIGHT & FRIDAY MORNING
It’s Thursday night at 11:30 PM and I am laying on my “comfy cot” in Room 834 at Hoag with Gary. Gary looks pretty dang comfy now that he has had an arsenal of drugs and a belly full of Filet Mignon – thanks to Todd & Rob.
In the background I can hear IV pumps beeping and people milling around the hallways. We always have the TV on because it drowns out other noises that go on throughout the night hours.
I called Gary’s parents to find out how Gary’s Dad was feeling last night. My heart broke as I received the news that Gary’s Dad is in the hospital right now battling cancer as well. I have details but they are not totally confirmed by the docs so I will wait to give them to you. I will tell you that his cancer seems to have spread into his left hip (just like his son) and there is a great chance it could be the same type of cancer – bladder. We are steadfastly praying and waiting to hear from them and Gary is totally devastated. We have not told the kids this information either.
We have been quiet together tonight. We did discuss Gary dying a few times with our favorite nurses and some of the doctors. I thought I had pretty much cried all of the tears I had today but when I am talking about Gary I find myself fighting back even more tears.
It is strange. Sometimes I can talk about this subject without shedding a tear. Very logical. I can actually remove myself from it and talk about it like it was happening to someone else. I like those times because that is when I can make sound decisions.
Most of the time I can’t talk about it for too long because we start to talk about something so overwhelmingly emotional that I just end up breaking down and down and down. I can’t cry anymore tonight because of the state of my face. My eyelids look like hot dog buns and I forgot the Preparation H to shrink those bags! My head is killing me and Vicodin (my last resort) has not worked in a few days. Oh well.
I just got side tracked because Stacey and Heather came by our room and had to give Gary his goodnight kisses! I love his nurses – 98% of them. Some of them are much more special and have been so incredibly wonderful to both of us. Synara is caring for him tonight and she is super special, too. Larry comes by every day to visit and Rose is always around. She is an angel and we love her!
Back on track.
So, I am sitting here and I am going to best articulate to all of you what was told to us this morning. I am sure I will get some of the info wrong but will focus on telling you what really matters.
In a matter of only a few weeks Gary cancer has spread significantly. It has not grown in the liver or by the right pelvis. The only tumor growth is on the left side of the pelvis. The tumor has eaten away at more of the bone and it has also grown apparently into his neo bladder. There seems to be nothing that will stop this cancer. We thought the chemo was working and it is in all of the other areas with the exception of this crucial area.
The pain in his leg is getting worse and we now know why. The neurostimulator is not working and we now know why. So, faced with this new information we are trying to make some very serious decisions with regards to the path we will now take.
It is hard to switch gears. We have been on this playing field and our goal was to Gary’s cancer in a manageable state so that he could have quality of life for however long that was going to be.
Now, we have to change fields and we are playing an entirely new game. The playbook now dictates that the new goal is trying to figure out how to help Gary die. What does that look like? How far do we go with further treatment? What treatment do we do and what treatment do we not do? There are so many options – most of them are not viable options given the extreme complications of his cancer. This is new territory for me and it took me an entire evening to get myself up to speed and educated. All the decisions we make are so personal for both of us and they are decisions no one should have to make.
I am numb to be honest with you. I feel like I am living out another persons life. This is our life. We are facing horrific things. It sucks and it is more than awful. I wanted to throw up all day.
Many of you I know want to know how Gary is doing. Gary is doing. He has cried today and laughed today and he has had times when he can talk about things and when he can’t talk about things. I try to put myself in his shoes and I just can’t do it. We are two totally different people. I would be flipping out. Freaking out about the kids. About Gary. About everything! I don’t think Gary thinks like I do. Men and women are so different. Gary is fairly calm and he told me that he felt numb as well.
So, tomorrow Gary gets another unit of blood, we have a Hospice Consult at 8 AM and then we have a radiation consult and mapping session at 10:00 AM for the tumor in his left pelvis. The reason for doing radiation is to try to attain some sort of pain control. If this fails then we consider the possibility of severing the nerve going down the leg completely and he will lose the use of his leg. After these appointments Gary will be released and come home.
If we choose the Hospice Route then we will do the bare minimum things to make Gary comfy. We will radiate, operate on his ureters to re-route the urine away from the bladder to slow down the infection rate. These things will hopefully minimize the pain so that Gary can have some quality time at home with the boys and me.
We are not going to tell the boys right now. Gary has gained back almost all of his weight and he looks great! Amazingly great! We will tell the boys in a week or so when the timing is right.
It is a perfect time to have a party for Gary! He is really looking forward to it as am I. Please stop by if you can and just say hello.
How to pray. What do we ask the Lord for? I would like everyone to pray for peace and understanding for our family. I want to pray for light and love to be present always. I will continue to pray for a healing for Gary and believe that whatever God has planned will come to fruition. Pray for protection and sanity and no anxiety. Pray for guidance in the decision making process and pray for our hearts to be quiet.
Please pray for Gary’s Mom and Dad as they wait to find out what they are up against with the cancer. I know how terrible his parents feel that they can’t see their son right now.
I know this blog entry was long but I wanted to catch all of you up to speed.
We will be coming home around 4 PM today and we are very much looking forward to that.
All our Love,
Lisa
BTW – If you have digital photos of our family and of Gary I have a favor to ask of you. Would you please somehow get those photos to me ASAP? I will take a CD or you can put them on a site like Shutterfly and I will download them. ☺
In the background I can hear IV pumps beeping and people milling around the hallways. We always have the TV on because it drowns out other noises that go on throughout the night hours.
I called Gary’s parents to find out how Gary’s Dad was feeling last night. My heart broke as I received the news that Gary’s Dad is in the hospital right now battling cancer as well. I have details but they are not totally confirmed by the docs so I will wait to give them to you. I will tell you that his cancer seems to have spread into his left hip (just like his son) and there is a great chance it could be the same type of cancer – bladder. We are steadfastly praying and waiting to hear from them and Gary is totally devastated. We have not told the kids this information either.
We have been quiet together tonight. We did discuss Gary dying a few times with our favorite nurses and some of the doctors. I thought I had pretty much cried all of the tears I had today but when I am talking about Gary I find myself fighting back even more tears.
It is strange. Sometimes I can talk about this subject without shedding a tear. Very logical. I can actually remove myself from it and talk about it like it was happening to someone else. I like those times because that is when I can make sound decisions.
Most of the time I can’t talk about it for too long because we start to talk about something so overwhelmingly emotional that I just end up breaking down and down and down. I can’t cry anymore tonight because of the state of my face. My eyelids look like hot dog buns and I forgot the Preparation H to shrink those bags! My head is killing me and Vicodin (my last resort) has not worked in a few days. Oh well.
I just got side tracked because Stacey and Heather came by our room and had to give Gary his goodnight kisses! I love his nurses – 98% of them. Some of them are much more special and have been so incredibly wonderful to both of us. Synara is caring for him tonight and she is super special, too. Larry comes by every day to visit and Rose is always around. She is an angel and we love her!
Back on track.
So, I am sitting here and I am going to best articulate to all of you what was told to us this morning. I am sure I will get some of the info wrong but will focus on telling you what really matters.
In a matter of only a few weeks Gary cancer has spread significantly. It has not grown in the liver or by the right pelvis. The only tumor growth is on the left side of the pelvis. The tumor has eaten away at more of the bone and it has also grown apparently into his neo bladder. There seems to be nothing that will stop this cancer. We thought the chemo was working and it is in all of the other areas with the exception of this crucial area.
The pain in his leg is getting worse and we now know why. The neurostimulator is not working and we now know why. So, faced with this new information we are trying to make some very serious decisions with regards to the path we will now take.
It is hard to switch gears. We have been on this playing field and our goal was to Gary’s cancer in a manageable state so that he could have quality of life for however long that was going to be.
Now, we have to change fields and we are playing an entirely new game. The playbook now dictates that the new goal is trying to figure out how to help Gary die. What does that look like? How far do we go with further treatment? What treatment do we do and what treatment do we not do? There are so many options – most of them are not viable options given the extreme complications of his cancer. This is new territory for me and it took me an entire evening to get myself up to speed and educated. All the decisions we make are so personal for both of us and they are decisions no one should have to make.
I am numb to be honest with you. I feel like I am living out another persons life. This is our life. We are facing horrific things. It sucks and it is more than awful. I wanted to throw up all day.
Many of you I know want to know how Gary is doing. Gary is doing. He has cried today and laughed today and he has had times when he can talk about things and when he can’t talk about things. I try to put myself in his shoes and I just can’t do it. We are two totally different people. I would be flipping out. Freaking out about the kids. About Gary. About everything! I don’t think Gary thinks like I do. Men and women are so different. Gary is fairly calm and he told me that he felt numb as well.
So, tomorrow Gary gets another unit of blood, we have a Hospice Consult at 8 AM and then we have a radiation consult and mapping session at 10:00 AM for the tumor in his left pelvis. The reason for doing radiation is to try to attain some sort of pain control. If this fails then we consider the possibility of severing the nerve going down the leg completely and he will lose the use of his leg. After these appointments Gary will be released and come home.
If we choose the Hospice Route then we will do the bare minimum things to make Gary comfy. We will radiate, operate on his ureters to re-route the urine away from the bladder to slow down the infection rate. These things will hopefully minimize the pain so that Gary can have some quality time at home with the boys and me.
We are not going to tell the boys right now. Gary has gained back almost all of his weight and he looks great! Amazingly great! We will tell the boys in a week or so when the timing is right.
It is a perfect time to have a party for Gary! He is really looking forward to it as am I. Please stop by if you can and just say hello.
How to pray. What do we ask the Lord for? I would like everyone to pray for peace and understanding for our family. I want to pray for light and love to be present always. I will continue to pray for a healing for Gary and believe that whatever God has planned will come to fruition. Pray for protection and sanity and no anxiety. Pray for guidance in the decision making process and pray for our hearts to be quiet.
Please pray for Gary’s Mom and Dad as they wait to find out what they are up against with the cancer. I know how terrible his parents feel that they can’t see their son right now.
I know this blog entry was long but I wanted to catch all of you up to speed.
We will be coming home around 4 PM today and we are very much looking forward to that.
All our Love,
Lisa
BTW – If you have digital photos of our family and of Gary I have a favor to ask of you. Would you please somehow get those photos to me ASAP? I will take a CD or you can put them on a site like Shutterfly and I will download them. ☺
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Loss For Words
Please give me some time to give you a thorough update as we have been inundated with calls and doctors and information. We love all of you and we can't wait to celebrate Gary's birthday with you as well.
Gary has been in the hospital since Tuesday. I can't believe I have to tell you this. Our eyes are swollen and heavy from crying all day as we found out that Gary's cancer is out of control and we basically have no viable options other than Hospice.
I want to explain everything to you but my mind is not clear and I want to wait until it is so that I can give you accurate information.
THE BOYS DO NOT KNOW so please do not tell your children. The boys are our 1st concern and we will tell them in our own time and I will let you know when we do so it will be safe to tell your children. We do not want them hearing this information from anyone but Gary and me.
Please pray for our family as we transition into this most difficult time. If we need anything believe me we will ask. I know everyone wants to get involved and help but we need some time to digest this and figure some things out. Like I said, we love you all and we appreciate your support an prayers and love.
All our love,
Lisa & Gary
Gary has been in the hospital since Tuesday. I can't believe I have to tell you this. Our eyes are swollen and heavy from crying all day as we found out that Gary's cancer is out of control and we basically have no viable options other than Hospice.
I want to explain everything to you but my mind is not clear and I want to wait until it is so that I can give you accurate information.
THE BOYS DO NOT KNOW so please do not tell your children. The boys are our 1st concern and we will tell them in our own time and I will let you know when we do so it will be safe to tell your children. We do not want them hearing this information from anyone but Gary and me.
Please pray for our family as we transition into this most difficult time. If we need anything believe me we will ask. I know everyone wants to get involved and help but we need some time to digest this and figure some things out. Like I said, we love you all and we appreciate your support an prayers and love.
All our love,
Lisa & Gary
Monday, November 3, 2008
November 3
Good Afternoon.
Remember to get out and vote tomorrow if you have not already done so. Gry and I voted via Absentee Ballot and it was a piece of cake! I think I will do that every election. The only bummer part is that you don't get the sticker. The boys love for me to wear my sticker after I vote but I did show them my ballot as I mailed it so they had proof that I voted!
Today was an okay day. We had some good news and some not-so-good news.
The good news seems to be that the liver tumor is looking better and Gary's liver values are normal. Everything is draining nicely and that's a good thing. Because things are going so well Gary will have another procedure under general anesthesia this Friday at South Coast Hospital. Dr. Arata will go into the liver and give Gary an internal stint of sorts so that we can remove the exterior billiary drain coming out of his bile ducts. We have been waiting to have this done and now is the time.
If Gary's counts hold strong then we can proceed. Gary had another round of chemo today (Velban/Methotrexate) and he is not feeling all that hot. I hope this will not affect his counts this week.
Well, we turned the pain stimulator on today and for the first 1/2 hour it worked. Then, just like before, Gary felt like the inside of his body was burning up. The burning pain was down the left leg and across the lower back. It was awful and ended up hurting him for over and hour after I turned the stimulator off. We had to give him 2 IV pushes of Dilaudid to calm the pain down.
So we made some phone calls today and are waiting to hear back from the Rep to schedule a reprogramming. If the reprogramming is unsuccessful then the next step might be to go back in once again and reposition the stimulator. Remember that Gary still has 23 staples in his hip/back and those will be removed on Thursday from the procedure 10 days ago. That was news Gary did not want to hear at all.
I am hydrating Gary right now and he is resting. He looks relaxed but when I ask him what his pain level is he tells me a 6.5. I hate that he is in constant pain. I would love for him to have a good day if just for one day. He deserves it and it saddens me that he has not had that yet.
Back to the homework grind and the lunchmaking yuck and laying clothes out and doing tons of laundry. I am excited that we all have a 4-day weekend again. The kids only have 13 days of school in the month of November! L:ove that!
I am going to get more meds for Gary and then home to fix some yummy chicken casserole. I hope Gary will eat tonight. He managed to eat a glazed old fashion donut this morning and a Big Mac this afternoon. I even found a Snickers wrapper next to his bed so I guess I can't complain! He's eating and that is a HUGE accomplishment on his part.
Have a great night.
Love,
Lisa
Remember to get out and vote tomorrow if you have not already done so. Gry and I voted via Absentee Ballot and it was a piece of cake! I think I will do that every election. The only bummer part is that you don't get the sticker. The boys love for me to wear my sticker after I vote but I did show them my ballot as I mailed it so they had proof that I voted!
Today was an okay day. We had some good news and some not-so-good news.
The good news seems to be that the liver tumor is looking better and Gary's liver values are normal. Everything is draining nicely and that's a good thing. Because things are going so well Gary will have another procedure under general anesthesia this Friday at South Coast Hospital. Dr. Arata will go into the liver and give Gary an internal stint of sorts so that we can remove the exterior billiary drain coming out of his bile ducts. We have been waiting to have this done and now is the time.
If Gary's counts hold strong then we can proceed. Gary had another round of chemo today (Velban/Methotrexate) and he is not feeling all that hot. I hope this will not affect his counts this week.
Well, we turned the pain stimulator on today and for the first 1/2 hour it worked. Then, just like before, Gary felt like the inside of his body was burning up. The burning pain was down the left leg and across the lower back. It was awful and ended up hurting him for over and hour after I turned the stimulator off. We had to give him 2 IV pushes of Dilaudid to calm the pain down.
So we made some phone calls today and are waiting to hear back from the Rep to schedule a reprogramming. If the reprogramming is unsuccessful then the next step might be to go back in once again and reposition the stimulator. Remember that Gary still has 23 staples in his hip/back and those will be removed on Thursday from the procedure 10 days ago. That was news Gary did not want to hear at all.
I am hydrating Gary right now and he is resting. He looks relaxed but when I ask him what his pain level is he tells me a 6.5. I hate that he is in constant pain. I would love for him to have a good day if just for one day. He deserves it and it saddens me that he has not had that yet.
Back to the homework grind and the lunchmaking yuck and laying clothes out and doing tons of laundry. I am excited that we all have a 4-day weekend again. The kids only have 13 days of school in the month of November! L:ove that!
I am going to get more meds for Gary and then home to fix some yummy chicken casserole. I hope Gary will eat tonight. He managed to eat a glazed old fashion donut this morning and a Big Mac this afternoon. I even found a Snickers wrapper next to his bed so I guess I can't complain! He's eating and that is a HUGE accomplishment on his part.
Have a great night.
Love,
Lisa
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Mourning for our friends
Good Evening.
When Gary was in the hospital this past summer for the majority of the summer I ended up meeting 2 women while on the 8th floor. Both Dixie and Sue had sick husbands who were battling cancer. Both Dixie and Sue's husbands had been in the hospital more than they had been out over the past year. Wonderful women. Warm and friendly and strong and courageous. We bonded immediately as we all shared one thing in common - our sick husbands. We talked for hours and hours and at that time I really realized I was not alone and all the things Gary and I had been going through they had been going through as well.
Well, a few weeks ago I learned that Dixie's husband had lost his battle with his cancer. She knew this was coming as she had taken him home and began Hospice. I just saw Sue and few weeks ago and found out the Larry's Cancer (ALM - Leukemia) was suddenly in remission and she was so happy. Well, this did not last long at all and as suddenly as the cancer disappeared it reappeared and this morning Larry died at home.
I also found out this week that Jeff Spears died. He was the young teacher from San Clemente High School whose wife, Ruthe is in remission from Breast cancer and they have two 5 year-old twin girls and a 9 year -old boy.
Cancer sucks. Plain and Simple. It is a roller Coaster of emotions. It is hard for me to write sometimes because on any given day we can have a good day and then BAM an awful day. Then, people say but I thought he was feeling so good? What happened? It's cancer. It is awful. It is a psychotic uncontrollable day to day emotional horror show. It is so hard to articulate to all of you everything that we go through mostly because it can be so incredibly overwhelming.
Thanks for hanging in there with us and for going on the coaster with us. I wish we had more good days than bad days and maybe that is what our future will hold. We hope and pray.
Please pray for Dixie and Sue and Ruthe and their kids and families. It is hard enough watching your loved one suffer so greatly but then watching them die is so unfathomable to me at this point. They are all such incredibly strong women and my heart is close to theirs and aches with them.
Gary has been in incredible pain today in his left leg. I came home this afternoon to give him some Toradol and some Xanax. The Xanax ended up knocking him out from about 2 PM until 7 PM tonight. At least he was relaxed and calm and out of pain as he slept. I hate having to do that but at this point until we figure out how to work this stimulator it is much better for him to be out of pain and sleeping then to be in pain and writhing.
We have chemo tomorrow and then several other appointments that are scattered throughout the week. Thank God mo Mom is here. She is so great with the boys and with Gary and the kids LOVE hanging out with her.
I am off to bed. I will work on the web later. I am glad you all liked the new photos. I am really looking forward to next Sunday and celebrating Gary's Birthday!
Another one of our kids is grounded for the week and it isn't "Mason". Story to follow tomorrow........stay tuned...........it's fairly entertaining!
Love To All,
Lisa
When Gary was in the hospital this past summer for the majority of the summer I ended up meeting 2 women while on the 8th floor. Both Dixie and Sue had sick husbands who were battling cancer. Both Dixie and Sue's husbands had been in the hospital more than they had been out over the past year. Wonderful women. Warm and friendly and strong and courageous. We bonded immediately as we all shared one thing in common - our sick husbands. We talked for hours and hours and at that time I really realized I was not alone and all the things Gary and I had been going through they had been going through as well.
Well, a few weeks ago I learned that Dixie's husband had lost his battle with his cancer. She knew this was coming as she had taken him home and began Hospice. I just saw Sue and few weeks ago and found out the Larry's Cancer (ALM - Leukemia) was suddenly in remission and she was so happy. Well, this did not last long at all and as suddenly as the cancer disappeared it reappeared and this morning Larry died at home.
I also found out this week that Jeff Spears died. He was the young teacher from San Clemente High School whose wife, Ruthe is in remission from Breast cancer and they have two 5 year-old twin girls and a 9 year -old boy.
Cancer sucks. Plain and Simple. It is a roller Coaster of emotions. It is hard for me to write sometimes because on any given day we can have a good day and then BAM an awful day. Then, people say but I thought he was feeling so good? What happened? It's cancer. It is awful. It is a psychotic uncontrollable day to day emotional horror show. It is so hard to articulate to all of you everything that we go through mostly because it can be so incredibly overwhelming.
Thanks for hanging in there with us and for going on the coaster with us. I wish we had more good days than bad days and maybe that is what our future will hold. We hope and pray.
Please pray for Dixie and Sue and Ruthe and their kids and families. It is hard enough watching your loved one suffer so greatly but then watching them die is so unfathomable to me at this point. They are all such incredibly strong women and my heart is close to theirs and aches with them.
Gary has been in incredible pain today in his left leg. I came home this afternoon to give him some Toradol and some Xanax. The Xanax ended up knocking him out from about 2 PM until 7 PM tonight. At least he was relaxed and calm and out of pain as he slept. I hate having to do that but at this point until we figure out how to work this stimulator it is much better for him to be out of pain and sleeping then to be in pain and writhing.
We have chemo tomorrow and then several other appointments that are scattered throughout the week. Thank God mo Mom is here. She is so great with the boys and with Gary and the kids LOVE hanging out with her.
I am off to bed. I will work on the web later. I am glad you all liked the new photos. I am really looking forward to next Sunday and celebrating Gary's Birthday!
Another one of our kids is grounded for the week and it isn't "Mason". Story to follow tomorrow........stay tuned...........it's fairly entertaining!
Love To All,
Lisa
Saturday, November 1, 2008
GARY'S BIRTHDAY INFORMATION
Hi everyone! WOW - 3 posts today. I have truly outdone myself this time.
I am not good at creating online invites but I think I managed to do it this time.
We will be having Gary's Birthday Celebration SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 9th from 2:30 to 4:30 PM at our home.
Please cut & paste the link below for details.
http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?event=NRCGKWRIDKPPRTOHEGYW&inviteId=LPYYAGIVVKXIZCERNHMG&showPreview=false&x=97994078
I do not have all of your E-mail information and therefore could not get everyone included on the Evite nor was I talented enough to create a URL (I think that is what it is) so back off my cut & paste link! :)
All of our friends and family who have been so extremely supportive - please stop by if only for 5 minutes to say HEY to Gary and to help us bring some Birthday Cheer his way!
I will have some munchies and water on hand and of course a football game will be playing!
I have never had a party for Gary and I think he will be pretty stoked to celebrate with our friends and family!
Happy Sunday and REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR CLOCKS BACK 1 HOUR!
Love,
Lisa
I am not good at creating online invites but I think I managed to do it this time.
We will be having Gary's Birthday Celebration SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 9th from 2:30 to 4:30 PM at our home.
Please cut & paste the link below for details.
http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?event=NRCGKWRIDKPPRTOHEGYW&inviteId=LPYYAGIVVKXIZCERNHMG&showPreview=false&x=97994078
I do not have all of your E-mail information and therefore could not get everyone included on the Evite nor was I talented enough to create a URL (I think that is what it is) so back off my cut & paste link! :)
All of our friends and family who have been so extremely supportive - please stop by if only for 5 minutes to say HEY to Gary and to help us bring some Birthday Cheer his way!
I will have some munchies and water on hand and of course a football game will be playing!
I have never had a party for Gary and I think he will be pretty stoked to celebrate with our friends and family!
Happy Sunday and REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR CLOCKS BACK 1 HOUR!
Love,
Lisa
CODENAME MASON
When I tell you that one of our children is a firecracker I really mean it. He is such a pistol and this week has been a week for him to learn some hard lessons. Let's start out with some positive reinforcement for all of the boys.
The boys all had great reports from their teachers during the conferences. None of them had anything negative to say. All of our boys are very bright and outgoing and fun and good friends and happy and on and on. How happy that makes both Gary and me especially with everything they have been through and continue to go through.
So, back to our firecracker. I really want to tell you which one of our kids I am talking about but I can't. I will let you all guess and try to figure it out and we will refer to him as "Mason" to protect his identity.
Where do I start. Let's start with something super funny and then we will go from there.
I was in the bathtub tonight and Mason told me that he needed to come in and go to the bathroom. So, with the curtains drawn I listened to Mason as he lifted the toilet seat and exclaimed, "A Mans gotta do what a mans gotta do." I swear I have no idea where he learns this stuff. We have never heard the other boys say that.
Now we will discuss the not-so-funny stuff. Remember when I told you about one of our kids giving the bird? Well, Mason said a nice four-letter word and I can tell you that it was not BIRD! He was holding his tongue and repeatedly saying "firetruck" and when you do that it does not sound like TRUCK. BTW - he was not alone in his room doing this. He had a captive audience!
Oh, and there's more. Mason was playing at the *#&$^'s house today and he jokingly told one of the 12 year-old neighbor girls something EXTREMELY INNAPROPRIATE about her chest area. VERY VERY VERY INNAPROPRIATE!!!!!#^$%#&@*!(#&^$*^$*^%$* What the heck? The only thing I can think of is that one of our other boys made reference to something regarding the chest area (was not inappropriate) and Mason took that and ran with it and put it into a whole new and thrilling context!! I am sure he got a huge laugh at the time and laughed until he saw me and faced my wrath!
For those of you who do not know our Mason really well he most definitely has a funny and wonderful sense of humor. He loves to make people laugh and evidently we need to help him to understand what is appropriate and what is not - as far as trying to be a comic! Both Gary and I have zero tolerence for that type of behavior. Mason is so busted and he sat in his room tonight and wrote letters to all of the involved parties apologizing for the inappropriateness of his behavior.
Poor kid. It does stink being a kid sometimes and wanting everyone to like you and trying to fit in and make kids laugh and all the other akward things kids do for attention. He has a whole lot to learn and I guess I am glad we are going through this now and not later in life or at school with some random kid! This is why we are parents. It is up to us to reinforce positive behavior and to make certain that our kids understand the difference between right and wrong behavior. There are always consequences for our behavior - good or bad - and those are some of the toughest lessons we learn and probably still learn as adults - experiencing the bad consequences. I hate it when our kids are in trouble. It is so much nicer when they do everything right and life is smooth dangit!
Mason told me this weekend that one of the kids at school is bullying him and calling him names. He had problems with this same kid last year in Mrs. $&*#(@'s class and I will be visiting the school all week to monitor things and to see what is really going on. Kids can be mean and we want to help our kids learn how to deal with meanies and not to swallow their self respect and take crap from other kids - in the nicest of ways of course!
Gary went to Home Depot today with Chuck and got all the things to fix our 3 toilets. He actually got out of the car and wheeled himself around the store with Chuck's help. He was so whipped when he returned home but it was good for him to go on an outing!
I am going to post the link for the Birthday Party for Gary. When I figure it out I will blog it.
Happy Parenting To All,
L
The boys all had great reports from their teachers during the conferences. None of them had anything negative to say. All of our boys are very bright and outgoing and fun and good friends and happy and on and on. How happy that makes both Gary and me especially with everything they have been through and continue to go through.
So, back to our firecracker. I really want to tell you which one of our kids I am talking about but I can't. I will let you all guess and try to figure it out and we will refer to him as "Mason" to protect his identity.
Where do I start. Let's start with something super funny and then we will go from there.
I was in the bathtub tonight and Mason told me that he needed to come in and go to the bathroom. So, with the curtains drawn I listened to Mason as he lifted the toilet seat and exclaimed, "A Mans gotta do what a mans gotta do." I swear I have no idea where he learns this stuff. We have never heard the other boys say that.
Now we will discuss the not-so-funny stuff. Remember when I told you about one of our kids giving the bird? Well, Mason said a nice four-letter word and I can tell you that it was not BIRD! He was holding his tongue and repeatedly saying "firetruck" and when you do that it does not sound like TRUCK. BTW - he was not alone in his room doing this. He had a captive audience!
Oh, and there's more. Mason was playing at the *#&$^'s house today and he jokingly told one of the 12 year-old neighbor girls something EXTREMELY INNAPROPRIATE about her chest area. VERY VERY VERY INNAPROPRIATE!!!!!#^$%#&@*!(#&^$*^$*^%$* What the heck? The only thing I can think of is that one of our other boys made reference to something regarding the chest area (was not inappropriate) and Mason took that and ran with it and put it into a whole new and thrilling context!! I am sure he got a huge laugh at the time and laughed until he saw me and faced my wrath!
For those of you who do not know our Mason really well he most definitely has a funny and wonderful sense of humor. He loves to make people laugh and evidently we need to help him to understand what is appropriate and what is not - as far as trying to be a comic! Both Gary and I have zero tolerence for that type of behavior. Mason is so busted and he sat in his room tonight and wrote letters to all of the involved parties apologizing for the inappropriateness of his behavior.
Poor kid. It does stink being a kid sometimes and wanting everyone to like you and trying to fit in and make kids laugh and all the other akward things kids do for attention. He has a whole lot to learn and I guess I am glad we are going through this now and not later in life or at school with some random kid! This is why we are parents. It is up to us to reinforce positive behavior and to make certain that our kids understand the difference between right and wrong behavior. There are always consequences for our behavior - good or bad - and those are some of the toughest lessons we learn and probably still learn as adults - experiencing the bad consequences. I hate it when our kids are in trouble. It is so much nicer when they do everything right and life is smooth dangit!
Mason told me this weekend that one of the kids at school is bullying him and calling him names. He had problems with this same kid last year in Mrs. $&*#(@'s class and I will be visiting the school all week to monitor things and to see what is really going on. Kids can be mean and we want to help our kids learn how to deal with meanies and not to swallow their self respect and take crap from other kids - in the nicest of ways of course!
Gary went to Home Depot today with Chuck and got all the things to fix our 3 toilets. He actually got out of the car and wheeled himself around the store with Chuck's help. He was so whipped when he returned home but it was good for him to go on an outing!
I am going to post the link for the Birthday Party for Gary. When I figure it out I will blog it.
Happy Parenting To All,
L
November 1
Good Morning and aren't you all impressed that I have added some new photos! Self Taught might I add!
The site will be under construction this weekend as I try and tweak it some more.
Halloween was great last night and the kids brought home so much candy. I will be taking the vast majority of the candy to the Cancer Center so that they can hand it out to the patients. Most patients receiving chemo like something a little sweet!
Be patient as I change things around!
Love,
Lisa
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