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I love Gary beyond love. I have loved him for 14 years and the past 14 years have been the best years of my life. We have been beyond blessed with our life and our friends and our family and our 3 precious sons.
When I sit here and watch Gary struggle to feed himself as he shakes or as he tries to grab the remote it rips at my heart and I well up with such emotion. Have any of you tried to call my house and talk to Gary? You probably couldn't talk to him right now because his voice is so incredibly weak. I gave him a shower today and just that was enough to completely drain him. It is so awful watching him day after day as he fights and struggles. I have to leave the room and just go away and cry sometimes. I am sure he knows how upset I get but he doesn't need to see it.
There is a HUGE part of me that wonders sometimes if he is dying slowly. It pains my heart to just write that. Then I wonder if the toll of the chemo, radiation and sheer physical pain is just compromising his system right now. I have heard of cancer patients that are brought to the brink of death in order to fight their way back up. My hope and prayer is the latter of the two scenarios.
Tomorrow is an important day for Gary. He is having the procedure to place the trial run of the pain pump in his spine to see if it will give him permanent relief. We are all hoping and praying that this will help him tremendously. Then, we will see Dr. Barth and I have no idea if he will start round 2 of the chemo tomorrow. Gary is due to have it so we will see.
Here is the reality (at least tonight's reality) - In my heart I know that Gary's body can't take much more pain. I am the only one who sees him day in and day out and knows what he faces each day when he wakes. Once again tears because it is so painful for me to watch. And yet again the man NEVER complains - EVER! He knows that when he wakes up every single morning he is going to face yet another day of uncontrollable pain. I am utterly in awe of his humbleness and selflessness. He is truly a hero in every single sense of the word and I admire his beyond admiration.
I think the boys are having such a hard time because Gary looks so different and he is so focused on fighting his sciatic pain that he rarely interacts with them. He has been extremely quiet as of late and that is hard on all of us because we want him to engage so badly.
Please know that I am fine. Once again I needed to share some raw emotions I have been struggling with and I feel like this is the forum in which I can be completely candid without facing judgement. I don't need advice on how to handle things. I am very resourceful and I know where to turn to and exactly who to turn to if I am struggling to the point where I can't help myself, Gary or the boys.
Please just pray for our family. We love all of you and we really love that you are all praying for us!
I have to get the boys to bed now so I must go.
I hope you all have a beautiful evening and remember to laugh and find the joy in everything!
Love, Lisa
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Just a hunch
Thunder and Lightning and rain! What a wild weather day! It was cold in the mornig and blazing hot again in the afternoon.
Well, I was wrong. Gary is most definitely not anemic this time. His hemoglobin is holding tight and all of his counts look good. His blood pressure is very low and I think Dr. Barth feels that this low pressure is a direct result of the amount of pain medication Gary is currently taking.
The key is to get him off of all of the pain meds and the way we will try to do that is to have the trial run of the pain block done. If that works then he will have the out patient procedure done to implant the device that regulates the electric stimulus in the spine.
After talking with Dr. Arata today we did find out that the sciatic is not being compressed by a tumor. So, I think it is still a mystery of whether it is radiation damage or just plain inactivity for such a lengthy period of time. Maybe we will eventually know but I will not hold my breath.
Gary and I just love the people we meet in the office. Our little friend Donna is one of the most amazingly brave people I have ever known besides Gary. She has breast cancer at 44 and it has spread to her bones,lungs, brain and liver. EVERY single time I see her she is smiling! She and her Dad are in the office every day getting hydrated and moving forward with treatment. Her husband runs their business so her Dad gets the privilege of taking care of her. We love sitting with them and talking.
It is picture day at school tomorrow so I must go and iron the kids shirts. There are also a pile of dishes and about 3 loads of laundry to get done as well. Kathy is having my house cleaned for me tomorrow (God Bless her!) and those of you who have ever had your house cleaned know that you have to "clean" before they come to clean. It sounds ridiculous but it is true. The kind people who come also change my sheets and make the beds! I am so excited!
I hope you all have a great evening and pray that Gary has a restful night.
Love and Hugs,
Lisa
Well, I was wrong. Gary is most definitely not anemic this time. His hemoglobin is holding tight and all of his counts look good. His blood pressure is very low and I think Dr. Barth feels that this low pressure is a direct result of the amount of pain medication Gary is currently taking.
The key is to get him off of all of the pain meds and the way we will try to do that is to have the trial run of the pain block done. If that works then he will have the out patient procedure done to implant the device that regulates the electric stimulus in the spine.
After talking with Dr. Arata today we did find out that the sciatic is not being compressed by a tumor. So, I think it is still a mystery of whether it is radiation damage or just plain inactivity for such a lengthy period of time. Maybe we will eventually know but I will not hold my breath.
Gary and I just love the people we meet in the office. Our little friend Donna is one of the most amazingly brave people I have ever known besides Gary. She has breast cancer at 44 and it has spread to her bones,lungs, brain and liver. EVERY single time I see her she is smiling! She and her Dad are in the office every day getting hydrated and moving forward with treatment. Her husband runs their business so her Dad gets the privilege of taking care of her. We love sitting with them and talking.
It is picture day at school tomorrow so I must go and iron the kids shirts. There are also a pile of dishes and about 3 loads of laundry to get done as well. Kathy is having my house cleaned for me tomorrow (God Bless her!) and those of you who have ever had your house cleaned know that you have to "clean" before they come to clean. It sounds ridiculous but it is true. The kind people who come also change my sheets and make the beds! I am so excited!
I hope you all have a great evening and pray that Gary has a restful night.
Love and Hugs,
Lisa
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Long, Hard Weekend
It is so great having Gary home from the aspect of not having to drive back and forth to Hoag everyday. I know he is much more comfortable here and the boys need to be with him more often. It is much easier for me to take care of him and to be able to get work done both for the church and at my house. I love having him back in our home.
However, it has been a little bit of an emotional transition for all of us. I told you that Gary feels guilty that he is not able to help. The boys are having a difficult time with their emotions and I know they are confused and a little bit scared. They have all had a little bit of separation anxiety as of late. As far as I am concerned I am really tired. Not physically tired but emotionally tired. Seeing Gary so sick all of the time gets to me. If you have not seen Gary in a few weeks you would probably be a little taken back by his appearence. Cancer does awful things to your body. Gary is painfully thin and his face has narrowed significantly. His eyes are sunken in and he has very dark circles under them. He lays in bed very still most of the time and struggles to lift his arms and legs. He has no energy and tires just thinking about doing anything more than being in bed.
Now, could this change? I really hope so. Gary's blood pressure has been very low and I have a sneaking suspicion that Gary is severly anemic. I thought he was dehydrated so I filled him full of fluid through his G-tube to see if is made a difference and it did not. So after doing a little research I think everything points to the need for a blood transfusion. We will see tomorrow after our visit at Dr. Barth's office.
Home Group came over tonight and we had a great dinner - flank steak, salad, bread, terriaki chicken, appetizers, margaritas, mac&cheese and dessert to top it all off! We always have a great time together but the best part of the evening was when everyone gathered around Gary and prayed over him. Gary has needed that for so long and our group is super wonderful!
Our neighbor Bette is not feeling well and her body is basically being invaded by cancer. It is all over her body and in her bones. I would love for everyone to keep praying for her and for the people that have come around her. She is a special lady and still from her hospital bed is barking orders and feistier than ever!
Nights in the Sallee house are long and I need sleep so I had better go now and sleep while I can. After all, I am Tivoing all my NEW shows! Fall TV is great!
Keep the prayers coming and hopefully we will have some concrete things to pray for this week. He is still in awful pain and we can continue to pray for the pain to subside.
Have a great Monday!!
Love, Lisa
However, it has been a little bit of an emotional transition for all of us. I told you that Gary feels guilty that he is not able to help. The boys are having a difficult time with their emotions and I know they are confused and a little bit scared. They have all had a little bit of separation anxiety as of late. As far as I am concerned I am really tired. Not physically tired but emotionally tired. Seeing Gary so sick all of the time gets to me. If you have not seen Gary in a few weeks you would probably be a little taken back by his appearence. Cancer does awful things to your body. Gary is painfully thin and his face has narrowed significantly. His eyes are sunken in and he has very dark circles under them. He lays in bed very still most of the time and struggles to lift his arms and legs. He has no energy and tires just thinking about doing anything more than being in bed.
Now, could this change? I really hope so. Gary's blood pressure has been very low and I have a sneaking suspicion that Gary is severly anemic. I thought he was dehydrated so I filled him full of fluid through his G-tube to see if is made a difference and it did not. So after doing a little research I think everything points to the need for a blood transfusion. We will see tomorrow after our visit at Dr. Barth's office.
Home Group came over tonight and we had a great dinner - flank steak, salad, bread, terriaki chicken, appetizers, margaritas, mac&cheese and dessert to top it all off! We always have a great time together but the best part of the evening was when everyone gathered around Gary and prayed over him. Gary has needed that for so long and our group is super wonderful!
Our neighbor Bette is not feeling well and her body is basically being invaded by cancer. It is all over her body and in her bones. I would love for everyone to keep praying for her and for the people that have come around her. She is a special lady and still from her hospital bed is barking orders and feistier than ever!
Nights in the Sallee house are long and I need sleep so I had better go now and sleep while I can. After all, I am Tivoing all my NEW shows! Fall TV is great!
Keep the prayers coming and hopefully we will have some concrete things to pray for this week. He is still in awful pain and we can continue to pray for the pain to subside.
Have a great Monday!!
Love, Lisa
Saturday, September 27, 2008
September 27 Saturday
Good Morning.
Sadly, my Mom left this morning early. The kids just love her so much! She has so much fun with them. She will be back hopefully in a few weeks to continue helping me with the boys and Gary.
Everything is going a little more smoothly. Home Health Care Companies are sometimes very difficult to work with. One company takes care of one thing and another comapny takes care of another and so on. Trying to figure out who to call for what can be challenging.
I think I have the system figured out and I have organized all of our supplies and equipment. That was half the battle and now I feel very comfortable and have almost established a routine of sorts. If I could have a day where I did not have to go to the pharmacy that would be great.
Gary was in so much pain yesterday. I got a hold of Dr. Gluzman (pain doc) and we changed some things around. He prescribed more fentynl and then I picked up valium and xanax for him as well. The combination of the new strength of fentynl and the valium/xanax knocked Gary right out last night! He slept until midnight when he woke up in severe pain again. I think I will just have to keep him somewhat sedated the rest of the weekend until we can get him to Dr. Arata and see what steps we can take to permanently block this pain.
The cause of the sciatic pain is speculative at best. Is there a tumor compressing the nerve? Is it lack of movement for such a long period of time? I am not sure and I do not have a concrete answer. I am hoping to get a definitive answer next week at the latest.
Gary is trying to eat and it will take all of his energy but he is going to take a regular shower today. I think he will feel a little better. IAt least I am hoping he will.
It is a down day for our family today. I have things to get ready for work and I have to clean this messy house! Everything is picked up but I am a clean nut and I need to feed my inner nut and get to work!
We love all of you and once again thank you for your love and support. Keep the prayers coming and think happy and positive thoughts and please send them our way! We LOVE happy!
Have a blessed Saturday - whatever you are doing.
In His Grip,
Lisa
Sadly, my Mom left this morning early. The kids just love her so much! She has so much fun with them. She will be back hopefully in a few weeks to continue helping me with the boys and Gary.
Everything is going a little more smoothly. Home Health Care Companies are sometimes very difficult to work with. One company takes care of one thing and another comapny takes care of another and so on. Trying to figure out who to call for what can be challenging.
I think I have the system figured out and I have organized all of our supplies and equipment. That was half the battle and now I feel very comfortable and have almost established a routine of sorts. If I could have a day where I did not have to go to the pharmacy that would be great.
Gary was in so much pain yesterday. I got a hold of Dr. Gluzman (pain doc) and we changed some things around. He prescribed more fentynl and then I picked up valium and xanax for him as well. The combination of the new strength of fentynl and the valium/xanax knocked Gary right out last night! He slept until midnight when he woke up in severe pain again. I think I will just have to keep him somewhat sedated the rest of the weekend until we can get him to Dr. Arata and see what steps we can take to permanently block this pain.
The cause of the sciatic pain is speculative at best. Is there a tumor compressing the nerve? Is it lack of movement for such a long period of time? I am not sure and I do not have a concrete answer. I am hoping to get a definitive answer next week at the latest.
Gary is trying to eat and it will take all of his energy but he is going to take a regular shower today. I think he will feel a little better. IAt least I am hoping he will.
It is a down day for our family today. I have things to get ready for work and I have to clean this messy house! Everything is picked up but I am a clean nut and I need to feed my inner nut and get to work!
We love all of you and once again thank you for your love and support. Keep the prayers coming and think happy and positive thoughts and please send them our way! We LOVE happy!
Have a blessed Saturday - whatever you are doing.
In His Grip,
Lisa
Thursday, September 25, 2008
1st FULL DAY AT HOME
We will start out this entry with random "drug haze" thoughts from the patient himself. Here goes.........
Lisa: Gary, What do you have to say?
Gary: The only thought I have is that it is good to be home. It is not perfect (we all know he is not talking about me when he says that!). I can't thank everyone enough for helping Lisa and our family to get us through this hard time.
...........................time elapsed.......................no other thoughts and a deep stare has developed. In fairness to Gary I just gave him about 9 pills and a fairly strong pain med. We are watching the tail end of Greys Anatomy. I missed the first 45 minutes of it but low and behold I have Tivo!!!
Today was a very long day. This is a learning curve for both of us. Gary's first day home was filled with mixed blessings. The trueness of Gary's character always shows through even during this time. He was upset today and I asked him what was wrong and he said he was happy to be home but he was very sad and upset that he can only lay in bed while he watches me run around in 50 directions to take care of everything. Once again he is thinking about me and the boys. He feels useless and I totally understand that.
Thank the good Lord he is not a control freak or he would really be in trouble emotionally. He has truely given it up and given it to God and we fight and wait and gain strength for whatever the Lord has planned for our lives. I told him that if he were at work I would still be doing most of this stuff BUT he would never know because he wouldn't be home! So there!!!!!
Gary looks good. He is bald and I have threatened to bronze that head if he does not sit out in the sun a little. He has lost about 20 pounds and his muscles have atrophed significantly. His hair will grow back and he will eventually get more muscular. He just has to do those three little things that we have been talking about - EAT, WALK and TALK. Talking has not seemed to be a problem for him. He has been fairly social when people have stopped by. He has not had many visitors but today that was probably for the best.
Bonnie is going to come over so that we can put Gary into my car in the morning. The wheelchair that was delivered was wrong - BIG and HEAVY. I need the lightweight one and that will not be delivered until tomorrow afternoon. Gary also needs a bed extender because his feet are at the bottom of the bed.
My Mom is leaving Saturday for a few weeks. It is so incredible having her here. The boys adore her and I know they light her life up! Just having her in the house has been such a relief during this time. We will miss her terribly. She is wonderful!
The boys swam after school today. What's up with the 98 degree weather? It was awfully hot today. I hope it cools down a little bit tomorrow and through the weekend.
I have so many of the world's greatest girlfriends! Everyone should be so lucky. I feel so incredibly blessed by their friendships. I never had a sister and never thought I would have such great friendships. Once again, God keeps on pouring out the blessings.
We will be at Dr.Barth's office tomorrow from about 9:30 until 2:00 PM. It will take about 1/2 that time to load Gary into the car!!! HaHa. I can get away with saying that because he does not read my blog. Even so, I would say it to his face probably! I have no idea what we are going to do at this appt. but I know he is due for chemo and I am hoping we can wait until Monday.
God is good and God has a plan. We are looking to the future to see what God has in store for our family. Please keep us in your prayers like you always do. Pray for Gary's speedy recovery and strength. Pray for his peace of mind. Pray for healing and a solution for his sciatic pain in his left leg. BUT, before you pray and ask these things of God remember to thank Him for all the wonders and beauty of the world and for the poeple like you that are in it!
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any typos in this blog. Too tired for spell check tonight. :)
Love and Smiles,
L & G (he only gets his initial if he has input and that he did tonight! )
Lisa: Gary, What do you have to say?
Gary: The only thought I have is that it is good to be home. It is not perfect (we all know he is not talking about me when he says that!). I can't thank everyone enough for helping Lisa and our family to get us through this hard time.
...........................time elapsed.......................no other thoughts and a deep stare has developed. In fairness to Gary I just gave him about 9 pills and a fairly strong pain med. We are watching the tail end of Greys Anatomy. I missed the first 45 minutes of it but low and behold I have Tivo!!!
Today was a very long day. This is a learning curve for both of us. Gary's first day home was filled with mixed blessings. The trueness of Gary's character always shows through even during this time. He was upset today and I asked him what was wrong and he said he was happy to be home but he was very sad and upset that he can only lay in bed while he watches me run around in 50 directions to take care of everything. Once again he is thinking about me and the boys. He feels useless and I totally understand that.
Thank the good Lord he is not a control freak or he would really be in trouble emotionally. He has truely given it up and given it to God and we fight and wait and gain strength for whatever the Lord has planned for our lives. I told him that if he were at work I would still be doing most of this stuff BUT he would never know because he wouldn't be home! So there!!!!!
Gary looks good. He is bald and I have threatened to bronze that head if he does not sit out in the sun a little. He has lost about 20 pounds and his muscles have atrophed significantly. His hair will grow back and he will eventually get more muscular. He just has to do those three little things that we have been talking about - EAT, WALK and TALK. Talking has not seemed to be a problem for him. He has been fairly social when people have stopped by. He has not had many visitors but today that was probably for the best.
Bonnie is going to come over so that we can put Gary into my car in the morning. The wheelchair that was delivered was wrong - BIG and HEAVY. I need the lightweight one and that will not be delivered until tomorrow afternoon. Gary also needs a bed extender because his feet are at the bottom of the bed.
My Mom is leaving Saturday for a few weeks. It is so incredible having her here. The boys adore her and I know they light her life up! Just having her in the house has been such a relief during this time. We will miss her terribly. She is wonderful!
The boys swam after school today. What's up with the 98 degree weather? It was awfully hot today. I hope it cools down a little bit tomorrow and through the weekend.
I have so many of the world's greatest girlfriends! Everyone should be so lucky. I feel so incredibly blessed by their friendships. I never had a sister and never thought I would have such great friendships. Once again, God keeps on pouring out the blessings.
We will be at Dr.Barth's office tomorrow from about 9:30 until 2:00 PM. It will take about 1/2 that time to load Gary into the car!!! HaHa. I can get away with saying that because he does not read my blog. Even so, I would say it to his face probably! I have no idea what we are going to do at this appt. but I know he is due for chemo and I am hoping we can wait until Monday.
God is good and God has a plan. We are looking to the future to see what God has in store for our family. Please keep us in your prayers like you always do. Pray for Gary's speedy recovery and strength. Pray for his peace of mind. Pray for healing and a solution for his sciatic pain in his left leg. BUT, before you pray and ask these things of God remember to thank Him for all the wonders and beauty of the world and for the poeple like you that are in it!
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any typos in this blog. Too tired for spell check tonight. :)
Love and Smiles,
L & G (he only gets his initial if he has input and that he did tonight! )
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Home Sweet Home
It is official! Our entire family is home together for the first time in a long time!
I finally got Gary home around 5:30 today and the home health care nurse left about 1/2 hour ago. I can't believe how much stuff needs to be done every day - different hours and different meds - some IV and some not. This tube and that tube and cleaning and draining and sterilizing and flushing and wound care..............................
Thank God I am not only a quick study but I also watched and learned and was taught everything I know. Thanks to the Hoag nurses and to Gentiva nurse Melissa I should be set!
I think Gary's pain meds are set to high on his pump so I will address that tomorrow. He has been asleep since 5:30 and seems to be fairly "snowed".
I am tired and need some sleep. I missed my staff meeting today and a board meeeting tonight and I feel really bad about both. Believe me when I tell you that I would much rather be at my staff meet and board meet than trying to learn how to manage my husbands cancer issues and care.
We are set up in the downstairs bedroom and that is my new home until I can find some walkie talkies or baby monitors to borrow. Then, I can sleep in my own bed and not on the couch!
Off to slumber hopefully. 6 AM comes way too early!
Love to all,
L
I finally got Gary home around 5:30 today and the home health care nurse left about 1/2 hour ago. I can't believe how much stuff needs to be done every day - different hours and different meds - some IV and some not. This tube and that tube and cleaning and draining and sterilizing and flushing and wound care..............................
Thank God I am not only a quick study but I also watched and learned and was taught everything I know. Thanks to the Hoag nurses and to Gentiva nurse Melissa I should be set!
I think Gary's pain meds are set to high on his pump so I will address that tomorrow. He has been asleep since 5:30 and seems to be fairly "snowed".
I am tired and need some sleep. I missed my staff meeting today and a board meeeting tonight and I feel really bad about both. Believe me when I tell you that I would much rather be at my staff meet and board meet than trying to learn how to manage my husbands cancer issues and care.
We are set up in the downstairs bedroom and that is my new home until I can find some walkie talkies or baby monitors to borrow. Then, I can sleep in my own bed and not on the couch!
Off to slumber hopefully. 6 AM comes way too early!
Love to all,
L
THE BEST WEDNESDAY EVER!
Guess what?
Drum roll please.......................................
Gary is coming home today! Home Health Care delivered his temporary hospital bed and wheel chair last night and my Mom bought sheets and Bonnie and Wendy bought all the supplies we will need and we are ready to rock!
I imagine he will be home around 3 PM and I have to get to the pharmacy to get all of his prescriptions. I can't believe he is coming home!
You can't imagine how thankful we are to the staff at Hoag - all the nurses and assistants and doctors and interventional radiology. They were so wonderful to our family and we are grateful! Gary has come a VERY FAR WAY in 6 weeks. He is such a fighter and will actually walk by himself into the house today! To think that 6 weeks ago we were possibly facing the hospice option! NO WAY! God had other plans!
I have to go to Target and Walmart to get last minute things for Gary and then I will head up to get him situated and ready to get home!
I will blog more later. It is hard in the morning hours when I am getting the kids ready for school. Pray for a smooth transition for all of us as Gary comes back to be with his family!
Love to all,
L
Drum roll please.......................................
Gary is coming home today! Home Health Care delivered his temporary hospital bed and wheel chair last night and my Mom bought sheets and Bonnie and Wendy bought all the supplies we will need and we are ready to rock!
I imagine he will be home around 3 PM and I have to get to the pharmacy to get all of his prescriptions. I can't believe he is coming home!
You can't imagine how thankful we are to the staff at Hoag - all the nurses and assistants and doctors and interventional radiology. They were so wonderful to our family and we are grateful! Gary has come a VERY FAR WAY in 6 weeks. He is such a fighter and will actually walk by himself into the house today! To think that 6 weeks ago we were possibly facing the hospice option! NO WAY! God had other plans!
I have to go to Target and Walmart to get last minute things for Gary and then I will head up to get him situated and ready to get home!
I will blog more later. It is hard in the morning hours when I am getting the kids ready for school. Pray for a smooth transition for all of us as Gary comes back to be with his family!
Love to all,
L
Monday, September 22, 2008
BLOG COMMENTS
Good Monday Morning To All of You!!
I want all of you to know that I read ALL of the comments that are left on the blog. I love all the comments - the funny ones and the cheerful ones and the heartfelt ones (although I know they are all heartfelt). I am overwhelmed with all your love and support and ALL the incredibly nice things you say about me. How awesome it is that I have you all fooled! Like taking candy from a baby!
Really, I am glad that so many of you are on this journey with us. I would never want to do this alone and I can’t fathom how people do. Your comments are uplifting and feed my soul. Thank you so much.
I try every day to make each day a great day despite everything going on. I guess it helps that I am generally a pretty positive person.
I need some prayer. I would like to protect the boys privacy as much as possible unless of course I have some outrageous fart story or far out comment from them. I just wanted you to know that I am beginning to see some signs of struggling with one of the boys. We had a very hard weekend and I think things have calmed down now after spending time with Gary. Gary is amazingly wonderful when he talks to the boys about the cancer. He is so down to earth with them.
All along we have been very real with the boys and have been extremely honest with them. I think things will stabilize once we get Gary home and they can be with him more.
So, please just keep all three of them covered in your prayers.
So, Gary had a GREAT day yesterday. He actually walked 240 feet – so I hear. I spent the morning at church and then 6 ½ hours at the baseball field watching 2 games! OMG – just take me out of my misery! Usually I do not feel like that but with Gary in the hospital and housework to be done and errands to be run I felt like I wasted an entire day. But, just when I feel that way the boys tell me how great it was that we spent the day together! Then the guilt sets in deeply and I regret wanting to try to keep up with my life and all the trivial things I want to be doing to keep ahead! I just need to let go sometimes and focus on what is really important.
Last night when Zach and I arrived we brought Gary an IN & Out burger! He ate over ½ of it. The feeding tube feeds him during the night and we have to get him eating during the day. His potassium level was too high so they switched his feeding bag to another formula with more calories and less potassium. He weighs a mere 140 which is 28 pounds down. I figure some Big O To Go, A’s Burgers, cakes from Steph, Angela and Stacy and apple fritters will do the trick!
Well, the great day did last for about 24 hours but like I told you every day brings something different. Today – not as great. Gary was up most of the night with the pain in his leg – probably from overdoing it! Then, I saw him shivering when Zach and I were leaving and we discovered that he has a 102.3 degree fever. Here we go. Back to the whole fever thing. It is such a pain in the rear to deal with this especially when we are trying to get procedures done and also trying to get home!
So, hopefully the afternoon will be better. He is sleeping next to me right now and he is going to have another chest x-ray and then the nerve block.
Guess what? I am in the Hoag Wi-Fi area and Gary is already getting the nerve block. He has zero recollection of the past one which was done a week ago so obviously the versed worked.
Nate will spend the night tonight. The amount of money I spend on that toll road should fund the dang thing for a year! I think I would spend the same amount in gas if I just took the freeway given the traffic and extra mileage so I am sure it is a wash.
Also, the complete and utter ridiculousness of paying $29.95 every 5 days for TV is mind blowing. I would never even spend that much for cable at home! The total amount spent so far totals over 3 months worth of cable! For those of you who have supported us I am so sorry for wasting money like that! You don’t realize how important TV is until that is all you have to entertain you!
I have to get back to the room and wait for Gary.
All of your prayers are so appreciated!
Much Love,
Lisa
I want all of you to know that I read ALL of the comments that are left on the blog. I love all the comments - the funny ones and the cheerful ones and the heartfelt ones (although I know they are all heartfelt). I am overwhelmed with all your love and support and ALL the incredibly nice things you say about me. How awesome it is that I have you all fooled! Like taking candy from a baby!
Really, I am glad that so many of you are on this journey with us. I would never want to do this alone and I can’t fathom how people do. Your comments are uplifting and feed my soul. Thank you so much.
I try every day to make each day a great day despite everything going on. I guess it helps that I am generally a pretty positive person.
I need some prayer. I would like to protect the boys privacy as much as possible unless of course I have some outrageous fart story or far out comment from them. I just wanted you to know that I am beginning to see some signs of struggling with one of the boys. We had a very hard weekend and I think things have calmed down now after spending time with Gary. Gary is amazingly wonderful when he talks to the boys about the cancer. He is so down to earth with them.
All along we have been very real with the boys and have been extremely honest with them. I think things will stabilize once we get Gary home and they can be with him more.
So, please just keep all three of them covered in your prayers.
So, Gary had a GREAT day yesterday. He actually walked 240 feet – so I hear. I spent the morning at church and then 6 ½ hours at the baseball field watching 2 games! OMG – just take me out of my misery! Usually I do not feel like that but with Gary in the hospital and housework to be done and errands to be run I felt like I wasted an entire day. But, just when I feel that way the boys tell me how great it was that we spent the day together! Then the guilt sets in deeply and I regret wanting to try to keep up with my life and all the trivial things I want to be doing to keep ahead! I just need to let go sometimes and focus on what is really important.
Last night when Zach and I arrived we brought Gary an IN & Out burger! He ate over ½ of it. The feeding tube feeds him during the night and we have to get him eating during the day. His potassium level was too high so they switched his feeding bag to another formula with more calories and less potassium. He weighs a mere 140 which is 28 pounds down. I figure some Big O To Go, A’s Burgers, cakes from Steph, Angela and Stacy and apple fritters will do the trick!
Well, the great day did last for about 24 hours but like I told you every day brings something different. Today – not as great. Gary was up most of the night with the pain in his leg – probably from overdoing it! Then, I saw him shivering when Zach and I were leaving and we discovered that he has a 102.3 degree fever. Here we go. Back to the whole fever thing. It is such a pain in the rear to deal with this especially when we are trying to get procedures done and also trying to get home!
So, hopefully the afternoon will be better. He is sleeping next to me right now and he is going to have another chest x-ray and then the nerve block.
Guess what? I am in the Hoag Wi-Fi area and Gary is already getting the nerve block. He has zero recollection of the past one which was done a week ago so obviously the versed worked.
Nate will spend the night tonight. The amount of money I spend on that toll road should fund the dang thing for a year! I think I would spend the same amount in gas if I just took the freeway given the traffic and extra mileage so I am sure it is a wash.
Also, the complete and utter ridiculousness of paying $29.95 every 5 days for TV is mind blowing. I would never even spend that much for cable at home! The total amount spent so far totals over 3 months worth of cable! For those of you who have supported us I am so sorry for wasting money like that! You don’t realize how important TV is until that is all you have to entertain you!
I have to get back to the room and wait for Gary.
All of your prayers are so appreciated!
Much Love,
Lisa
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Saturday September 20
Hello.
Can you believe I am actually at home right now? It is the first night since Gary went into Hoag that I have spent the night at home. I am a little nervous. When I left the hospital Gary's core body temp had dropped to 94.7. The same exact thing happened last Saturday. What's up with poor Gary? He can't make his mind up - hot then cold then hot and then cold again! At least I know he has a great nurse tonight so I feel somewhat confident. I think I will call there soon to see how things are going.
Today was a mixed day. Gary had loads of pain BUT he ended up walked a whopping 140 feet! I was shocked and he did it all by himself! He even wore his SC shirt and put pants on today! I force fed him breakfast and lunch (HE HATES THAT) and tried to keep him awake most of the day. He had chemo today (Vinblastin and Methotrexate) and will get the other 2 drugs next week (Taxotere and Doxorubicin). Next weeks chemo is more harsh than this week BUT Gary will be HOME by then!
Gary is scheduled to come back home either Tuesday or Wednesday!!! I am not holding my breath but Dr. Barth feels that if things keep progressing than we will hit our target date!
I am really excited about bringing him home. I think it will be great for his mental and physical well-being. I know it is going to take some work and getting into a routine will be most beneficial for both of us. I am sure we will be in Dr. Barth's office at least 3 times a week during this crucial treatment time and that makes me feel better.
Dr. Barth has been wonderful. He is so attentive to Gary and he has been so great with our family. I can't say enough about him. He has managed to make our very complicated and tragic situation more peaceful than I had anticipated. He calls the shots and we trust him with every fiber of our being. We know that ultimately Dr. Barth is not the person responsible for Gary's outcome but it is great to know that God has provided us with a wonderful doctor who works very hard at trying to prolong Gary's life and even possibly getting him to a place where we could manage his cancer!
The boys need to get to bed and I have to get ready for church in the morning. It is great to be able to put the boys to bed! They are super excited that I am home and that makes both Gary and me feel good.
Pray that Gary gets the epidural tomorrow (yes, it was unfortunately post-poned) and that it helps to control his pain until Monday when we will attempt the nerve block once again. If all fails then Dr. Arata will see Gary this coming week and we will move forward from there (he iworks out of Dr. Barth's office).
Thank you all for your smiles and love and support and prayers! Keep it ALL coming!
Hugs and Kisses,
L
Can you believe I am actually at home right now? It is the first night since Gary went into Hoag that I have spent the night at home. I am a little nervous. When I left the hospital Gary's core body temp had dropped to 94.7. The same exact thing happened last Saturday. What's up with poor Gary? He can't make his mind up - hot then cold then hot and then cold again! At least I know he has a great nurse tonight so I feel somewhat confident. I think I will call there soon to see how things are going.
Today was a mixed day. Gary had loads of pain BUT he ended up walked a whopping 140 feet! I was shocked and he did it all by himself! He even wore his SC shirt and put pants on today! I force fed him breakfast and lunch (HE HATES THAT) and tried to keep him awake most of the day. He had chemo today (Vinblastin and Methotrexate) and will get the other 2 drugs next week (Taxotere and Doxorubicin). Next weeks chemo is more harsh than this week BUT Gary will be HOME by then!
Gary is scheduled to come back home either Tuesday or Wednesday!!! I am not holding my breath but Dr. Barth feels that if things keep progressing than we will hit our target date!
I am really excited about bringing him home. I think it will be great for his mental and physical well-being. I know it is going to take some work and getting into a routine will be most beneficial for both of us. I am sure we will be in Dr. Barth's office at least 3 times a week during this crucial treatment time and that makes me feel better.
Dr. Barth has been wonderful. He is so attentive to Gary and he has been so great with our family. I can't say enough about him. He has managed to make our very complicated and tragic situation more peaceful than I had anticipated. He calls the shots and we trust him with every fiber of our being. We know that ultimately Dr. Barth is not the person responsible for Gary's outcome but it is great to know that God has provided us with a wonderful doctor who works very hard at trying to prolong Gary's life and even possibly getting him to a place where we could manage his cancer!
The boys need to get to bed and I have to get ready for church in the morning. It is great to be able to put the boys to bed! They are super excited that I am home and that makes both Gary and me feel good.
Pray that Gary gets the epidural tomorrow (yes, it was unfortunately post-poned) and that it helps to control his pain until Monday when we will attempt the nerve block once again. If all fails then Dr. Arata will see Gary this coming week and we will move forward from there (he iworks out of Dr. Barth's office).
Thank you all for your smiles and love and support and prayers! Keep it ALL coming!
Hugs and Kisses,
L
Friday, September 19, 2008
Friday September 19
Update - Gary is getting an epidural either tonight or tomorrow morning. It will be just like the ones we have when we are pregnant! They will come bedside to do this and hopefully will take him through Monday.
Joyce is with Gary now so that I can go out! Gary is doing alright today but is still struggling with severe pain.
I will go back to the hospital tonight and give you an update tomorrow morning!
Love to all and bottoms up!!
Lisa
Joyce is with Gary now so that I can go out! Gary is doing alright today but is still struggling with severe pain.
I will go back to the hospital tonight and give you an update tomorrow morning!
Love to all and bottoms up!!
Lisa
PERSONAL SIDENOTE
BTW - I have not been in the mood for any deep thoughts as of late. There is so much I want to share but everything else that has been happening has kinda taken over. Maybe I can have some reflection time tonight and then give you some insight.
I wanted to tell Laurie that between the boys and the Hoag Staff the chocolate chippers were gone in less than 5! Everyone loved them! I should have fresh cookies there all the time! Thank you.
Suz - The Sprinkles Cupcakes were a hit and were a perfect breakfast treat for the boys! What a bad Mom I am for feeding them decadently amazing cupcakes! If you have not tried a Sprinkles Cupcake you are missing out.
Thanks for all the treats! It is so special and so are you. Too much time has gone by!
Love, L
I wanted to tell Laurie that between the boys and the Hoag Staff the chocolate chippers were gone in less than 5! Everyone loved them! I should have fresh cookies there all the time! Thank you.
Suz - The Sprinkles Cupcakes were a hit and were a perfect breakfast treat for the boys! What a bad Mom I am for feeding them decadently amazing cupcakes! If you have not tried a Sprinkles Cupcake you are missing out.
Thanks for all the treats! It is so special and so are you. Too much time has gone by!
Love, L
Gary ALWAYS Has To Be The Center Of Attention!
THURSDAY NIGHT 10 PM
Nothing can ever be just calm and normal with Gary! He is always looking for a way to hog the spotlight and he has managed to do it once again! You all know Gary. Such an "out in front" type a guy! :)
So much has happened yesterday and today and I will try and give you the briefest overview possible.
Wednesday Gary was in so much pain that he asked several doctors if they would be able to amputate his leg so that he would be out of pain. Sadly, he was not kidding as his pain level rose to 15! That night we got loads of drugs on board with promises of doing another nerve block today. This time they were going to use more alcohol and steroids in the block.
His night was okay. Every night we seem to deal with fevers and sweats so there was nothing out of the ordinary for Gary. When Jax and I arrived at the hospital last night Gary was out of it from the drugs that they had given him to get him out of pain. Jax had brought 3 books with him that he had wanted to read to Gary. Unfortunately, we had to wait until this morning.
My alarm went off at 5:30 AM and I got up to get us both ready to head home. Gary’s eyes were open and Jax crawled into bed with him to read to him. After reading his books to Gary I looked over at him and Gary had tears streaming down his face. Jax looked at Gary and wiped his tears away and gave him a kiss on his forehead. It was both the saddest and sweetest moment ever. Gary was in so much pain this morning and somewhat despondent until that very moment. He sure loves his boys.
So, today I drove back after getting the boys off to school and sat with girlfriends and watched Gary as he painfully moved around in his bed. He was struggling with his pain for a vast majority of the day today. He doesn’t talk and hides his head under the covers. Throughout the day he had fevers and at one point it reached 102.8.
This afternoon the boys arrived and Gary suddenly seemed to perk right up. He sat up and smiled and talked to the boys and was a completely different person. It was awesome to see his interaction with the boys. It was really strange because it was like a light switch. One minute he was staring at the wall and despondent and the next moment he was smiling and talking and laughing.
After the boys spent about an hour with Gary I left to take the boys to baseball and my Mom called to tell me that there was a problem. Gary started becoming despondent again and his blood pressure dropped extremely low. I was not at the hospital during this time but I do know he created panic and Gary had everyone trying to figure out what was happening. Leave it to Gary to get attention anyway he can get it! What a showoff (that quote was taken from one of the nurses who will remain anonymous).
Gary is stable now after receiving fluids and he has started a new round of antibiotics for the fevers. He is in bed and under the covers trying to remain still. I am sure tonight will bring more discomfort and fevers and sweats. I might be pleasantly surprised and he might have a great night. He did just kinda give me a caveman like growl as I tried to fix one of his lines to get his machine to stop annoyingly beeping! The nerve!!!
Needless to say that the interventional radiologists were not able to do the block today due to Gary’s low blood pressure. Dr. Peck is the only one who can do the block and he is unable to do that until Monday.
We were hoping Gary would be home over the weekend but the whole blood pressure, fever and out of control pain issues have delayed his homecoming. I am okay with him not coming home. There is no use in bringing him home and then turning around and going back to the ER for all this stuff and that is exactly what would happen. Trust me – been there.
Zach is fast asleep next to me. The boys can sleep through anything. I wish that I could.
We are of course hoping for a better day tomorrow as we always do. That 20 or so hours after the first pain block was so great for Gary and it gave us both a glimpse of what could be if we could get the pain out of that stupid leg – without amputating it!!!
I am so excited for Friday. The end of another week. I think I will go out tomorrow night with some girlfriends and enjoy myself for a few hours without kids! I am such a great Mom after my girls nights out!
I am going to try and sleep if Gary’s stinking machines will stop beeping! I hate those things. They should only beep at the nurses station and not in the room. What a pain!
Have a great sleep and thanks for all your prayers and love.
Love,
L
Nothing can ever be just calm and normal with Gary! He is always looking for a way to hog the spotlight and he has managed to do it once again! You all know Gary. Such an "out in front" type a guy! :)
So much has happened yesterday and today and I will try and give you the briefest overview possible.
Wednesday Gary was in so much pain that he asked several doctors if they would be able to amputate his leg so that he would be out of pain. Sadly, he was not kidding as his pain level rose to 15! That night we got loads of drugs on board with promises of doing another nerve block today. This time they were going to use more alcohol and steroids in the block.
His night was okay. Every night we seem to deal with fevers and sweats so there was nothing out of the ordinary for Gary. When Jax and I arrived at the hospital last night Gary was out of it from the drugs that they had given him to get him out of pain. Jax had brought 3 books with him that he had wanted to read to Gary. Unfortunately, we had to wait until this morning.
My alarm went off at 5:30 AM and I got up to get us both ready to head home. Gary’s eyes were open and Jax crawled into bed with him to read to him. After reading his books to Gary I looked over at him and Gary had tears streaming down his face. Jax looked at Gary and wiped his tears away and gave him a kiss on his forehead. It was both the saddest and sweetest moment ever. Gary was in so much pain this morning and somewhat despondent until that very moment. He sure loves his boys.
So, today I drove back after getting the boys off to school and sat with girlfriends and watched Gary as he painfully moved around in his bed. He was struggling with his pain for a vast majority of the day today. He doesn’t talk and hides his head under the covers. Throughout the day he had fevers and at one point it reached 102.8.
This afternoon the boys arrived and Gary suddenly seemed to perk right up. He sat up and smiled and talked to the boys and was a completely different person. It was awesome to see his interaction with the boys. It was really strange because it was like a light switch. One minute he was staring at the wall and despondent and the next moment he was smiling and talking and laughing.
After the boys spent about an hour with Gary I left to take the boys to baseball and my Mom called to tell me that there was a problem. Gary started becoming despondent again and his blood pressure dropped extremely low. I was not at the hospital during this time but I do know he created panic and Gary had everyone trying to figure out what was happening. Leave it to Gary to get attention anyway he can get it! What a showoff (that quote was taken from one of the nurses who will remain anonymous).
Gary is stable now after receiving fluids and he has started a new round of antibiotics for the fevers. He is in bed and under the covers trying to remain still. I am sure tonight will bring more discomfort and fevers and sweats. I might be pleasantly surprised and he might have a great night. He did just kinda give me a caveman like growl as I tried to fix one of his lines to get his machine to stop annoyingly beeping! The nerve!!!
Needless to say that the interventional radiologists were not able to do the block today due to Gary’s low blood pressure. Dr. Peck is the only one who can do the block and he is unable to do that until Monday.
We were hoping Gary would be home over the weekend but the whole blood pressure, fever and out of control pain issues have delayed his homecoming. I am okay with him not coming home. There is no use in bringing him home and then turning around and going back to the ER for all this stuff and that is exactly what would happen. Trust me – been there.
Zach is fast asleep next to me. The boys can sleep through anything. I wish that I could.
We are of course hoping for a better day tomorrow as we always do. That 20 or so hours after the first pain block was so great for Gary and it gave us both a glimpse of what could be if we could get the pain out of that stupid leg – without amputating it!!!
I am so excited for Friday. The end of another week. I think I will go out tomorrow night with some girlfriends and enjoy myself for a few hours without kids! I am such a great Mom after my girls nights out!
I am going to try and sleep if Gary’s stinking machines will stop beeping! I hate those things. They should only beep at the nurses station and not in the room. What a pain!
Have a great sleep and thanks for all your prayers and love.
Love,
L
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
36 Days in
Well. We are 36 days in at Hoag and I wish I could tell all of you that we have a discharge plan. Aetna seemed to think today that Gary needed to be released within the next 24 hours or they would not provide coverage for him at Hoag! The audacity!
After numerous phone calls my sweet Aetna advocate Susan assured me that Gary would continue to be covered and I should not be worrying about that. So, I will take her word for it and not worry. After all, I do have bigger things that I need to focus on, right?
Gary was not emotionally in the greatest of places today. Who could blame the poor guy! He has been through absolute HELL and he is tired and weak and emotionally distraught. So, we had a "meeting of the minds" if you will and we came to yet another understanding of what we are doing here. Gary wants to fight and he is fighting narcotics, pain, weakness, atrophy of all of his muscles, discomfort, infections, maggots, wounds, drains and the list goes on and on.
It is not that he does not want to fight because he wants to more than anything but he is tired. I guess if I were on the narcotics he is on and had radiation and chemo and antibiotics to fight infections I would be tired too. I am tired just telling you about it!
When I left at 1:30 he was in a much better place. He had a nerve block this morning and we are waiting to see if it worked. His thyroid test came back and it is out of whack. The normal TSH level is 4 and Gary is at 36. It will take a while for the new meds to kick in and correct that problem.
I came home to hang with the boys and get some work done. I was successful and will switch places with my Mom at 7:30 PM.
School is going well for the boys and they really enjoyed shaving Gary's head last night. Unfortunately, Gary is losing his eyebrows, eyelashes and the rest of his body hair as well. It's only hair and it will grow back. That's what I keep telling myself.
I better go and get the boys ready for their 7:30 bedtime!
Please pray for Gary's emotionaly well-being. He needs a boost and hopefully if all of us pray for that the good Lord will bring it!
Hugs and Kisses to everyone.
Love, L
After numerous phone calls my sweet Aetna advocate Susan assured me that Gary would continue to be covered and I should not be worrying about that. So, I will take her word for it and not worry. After all, I do have bigger things that I need to focus on, right?
Gary was not emotionally in the greatest of places today. Who could blame the poor guy! He has been through absolute HELL and he is tired and weak and emotionally distraught. So, we had a "meeting of the minds" if you will and we came to yet another understanding of what we are doing here. Gary wants to fight and he is fighting narcotics, pain, weakness, atrophy of all of his muscles, discomfort, infections, maggots, wounds, drains and the list goes on and on.
It is not that he does not want to fight because he wants to more than anything but he is tired. I guess if I were on the narcotics he is on and had radiation and chemo and antibiotics to fight infections I would be tired too. I am tired just telling you about it!
When I left at 1:30 he was in a much better place. He had a nerve block this morning and we are waiting to see if it worked. His thyroid test came back and it is out of whack. The normal TSH level is 4 and Gary is at 36. It will take a while for the new meds to kick in and correct that problem.
I came home to hang with the boys and get some work done. I was successful and will switch places with my Mom at 7:30 PM.
School is going well for the boys and they really enjoyed shaving Gary's head last night. Unfortunately, Gary is losing his eyebrows, eyelashes and the rest of his body hair as well. It's only hair and it will grow back. That's what I keep telling myself.
I better go and get the boys ready for their 7:30 bedtime!
Please pray for Gary's emotionaly well-being. He needs a boost and hopefully if all of us pray for that the good Lord will bring it!
Hugs and Kisses to everyone.
Love, L
Monday, September 15, 2008
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 15
Good evening. I am downstairs in the Haog Resource Center and I thought I would blog while I waited for Dr. Barth to come to see us. I walked down here to place an order for some prescriptions for my Mom and I will give you a picture of what my journey down 8 flights in a crowded elevator looked like.
I am dressed in my pretty pink skirt and long sleeved white top and I have black comfy slippers on. No make-up. I have my phone with my head set in the same hand as the 2 prescription bottles. Tucked under my arm is my Mac and in my left hand is my "Red Cup". Do you think the salt around the rim gives it away? :) I am ready to relax, huh?
Gary was sleeping and today has been a hard day. I would venture to say that the entire weekend has been pretty hard on Gary. He has had loads of sciatic pain. His fever has been 103 and then he fell to 93. His blood pressure was all over the place. He had bouts of incredible sweats and shivering.
I guess the chemo he got on Saturday has not caused any real issues yet with the exception of one. Today, I was rubbing his head and face and his hair was falling out in clumps. It was very hard because this is the first time this has happened. It is yet another thing that makes cancer very real and right in your face. It is a very emotional thing to watch the person you love and adore lose all of his/her hair. He is not only losing it on his head and face but all over his body.
The kids went to Nine Star on their way up here and bought him a beanie. They actually got him a really cool beanie (their sense of impeccable taste comes from me obviously) so that his head would not get cold. They came tonight and brought the electric razor and we all shaved his head together as a family. We shaved his face too and tomorrow I will take a Bic and shave all the stubble that is left over off. For some reason it is very sad that we have shaved his head BECAUSE we have to not because he wants to.
He has barely eaten anything in 2 days and the pain in his leg is overwhelming. We had a meeting with Dr. Gluzman today and he will meet with Dr. Barth about the next step in hopefully controlling his pain.
I started to research Gary's funky symptoms from the weekend and stumbled upon information concerning thyroid, adrenal gland and pituitary functions. I have talked with the internal med doc today to see about getting some blood work done to either rule out or confirm that one of these things could be causing Gary's fluctuating fevers/non-fevers, blood pressure changes and hoarseness in his voice among other symptoms. I think they will draw the blood tomorrow and we should know something in the next couple of days.
My Mom has been HUGELY helpful with the boys. I know 3 boys is a lot of work when you are not used to dealing with small kids but she is doing a great job! Love you Mom.
I must thank all of you once again for all of your love and caring cards and thoughts and prayers and gifts and CD's and buttons and movies and everything else! We love all of you and thank you for your incredibleness (is that even a word?).
I have to go now and get back to my man. Pray for me that he has a better night that is more restful and peaceful. Pray for Dr. Gluzman and Dr. Barth as they try to figure out what to do next with Gary's pain management. If we could manage the sciatic pain EVERYTHING would change possibly for Gary. He would not be so hyper-focused on that pain and he could get focused on healing and walking and getting outta here!
Love to you all and have a great night!
L
I am dressed in my pretty pink skirt and long sleeved white top and I have black comfy slippers on. No make-up. I have my phone with my head set in the same hand as the 2 prescription bottles. Tucked under my arm is my Mac and in my left hand is my "Red Cup". Do you think the salt around the rim gives it away? :) I am ready to relax, huh?
Gary was sleeping and today has been a hard day. I would venture to say that the entire weekend has been pretty hard on Gary. He has had loads of sciatic pain. His fever has been 103 and then he fell to 93. His blood pressure was all over the place. He had bouts of incredible sweats and shivering.
I guess the chemo he got on Saturday has not caused any real issues yet with the exception of one. Today, I was rubbing his head and face and his hair was falling out in clumps. It was very hard because this is the first time this has happened. It is yet another thing that makes cancer very real and right in your face. It is a very emotional thing to watch the person you love and adore lose all of his/her hair. He is not only losing it on his head and face but all over his body.
The kids went to Nine Star on their way up here and bought him a beanie. They actually got him a really cool beanie (their sense of impeccable taste comes from me obviously) so that his head would not get cold. They came tonight and brought the electric razor and we all shaved his head together as a family. We shaved his face too and tomorrow I will take a Bic and shave all the stubble that is left over off. For some reason it is very sad that we have shaved his head BECAUSE we have to not because he wants to.
He has barely eaten anything in 2 days and the pain in his leg is overwhelming. We had a meeting with Dr. Gluzman today and he will meet with Dr. Barth about the next step in hopefully controlling his pain.
I started to research Gary's funky symptoms from the weekend and stumbled upon information concerning thyroid, adrenal gland and pituitary functions. I have talked with the internal med doc today to see about getting some blood work done to either rule out or confirm that one of these things could be causing Gary's fluctuating fevers/non-fevers, blood pressure changes and hoarseness in his voice among other symptoms. I think they will draw the blood tomorrow and we should know something in the next couple of days.
My Mom has been HUGELY helpful with the boys. I know 3 boys is a lot of work when you are not used to dealing with small kids but she is doing a great job! Love you Mom.
I must thank all of you once again for all of your love and caring cards and thoughts and prayers and gifts and CD's and buttons and movies and everything else! We love all of you and thank you for your incredibleness (is that even a word?).
I have to go now and get back to my man. Pray for me that he has a better night that is more restful and peaceful. Pray for Dr. Gluzman and Dr. Barth as they try to figure out what to do next with Gary's pain management. If we could manage the sciatic pain EVERYTHING would change possibly for Gary. He would not be so hyper-focused on that pain and he could get focused on healing and walking and getting outta here!
Love to you all and have a great night!
L
Sunday, September 14, 2008
NO ICU
No ICU for Gary. HIs body temp is up to 97. I am on my way after a VERY LONG day of baseball to finally see him. I have a jug of margaritas and some tabloid magazines and I am one happy girl!
I will update tomorrow as I have no new info for all of you!
Have a blessed evening!
Love, Lisa
I will update tomorrow as I have no new info for all of you!
Have a blessed evening!
Love, Lisa
SUNDAY QUICKIE
Ok. I am home and on my way to church. I only have a minute.
The doctors are more than likely going to transfer Gary to the ICU this morning.
He had a 103 fever yesterday and by last night his core temp was only 93.1. His heart rate dropped significantly to around 50 BPM and his blood pressure is all over the place.
He is totally coherent and even joking with me about the nurses kissing him. He is in good spirits and I am not too worried but just a little given the docs can't figure out yet what's going on with him.
He did have chemo yesterday and could this all be a reaction to the drugs? Possibly. However, precautions need to be taken and it might be better if they can monitor him more closely.
I will update you when I get a chance but wanted to let all of you know where we stood.
BTW - maggots therapy was extremely successful. His wound is 80% cleaner! I will write more about that later.
Love to all,
Lisa
The doctors are more than likely going to transfer Gary to the ICU this morning.
He had a 103 fever yesterday and by last night his core temp was only 93.1. His heart rate dropped significantly to around 50 BPM and his blood pressure is all over the place.
He is totally coherent and even joking with me about the nurses kissing him. He is in good spirits and I am not too worried but just a little given the docs can't figure out yet what's going on with him.
He did have chemo yesterday and could this all be a reaction to the drugs? Possibly. However, precautions need to be taken and it might be better if they can monitor him more closely.
I will update you when I get a chance but wanted to let all of you know where we stood.
BTW - maggots therapy was extremely successful. His wound is 80% cleaner! I will write more about that later.
Love to all,
Lisa
Friday, September 12, 2008
THURSDAY NIGHT & FRIDAY MORNING
Thursday Night 9:00 PM
Today was a long day for Gary. Monday and Tuesday seemed to be much better days for him but yesterday and today were not so hot.
Gary spiked another fever today and his sciatic nerve pain (down the left leg) proved to be incredibly uncomfortable. There did not seem to be enough pain medication to give him much relief throughout the past 2 days.
We are waiting for Dr. Phan (urologist) and Dr. Barth to come in tonight. His white counts are high (15,000) – they should be between 4,000-11,000. We will see what the good docs have to say.
We are watching dreaded reruns! I hate reruns!! Where are all the good shows? I need my TV fix. Zach is here spending the night and he spent the first part of the evening doing all of his homework. I had to take him to Sport Chalet today to get him new cleats. Thank goodness they were under $30 unlike Mr. Jax’s cleats!
If you read my blog from earlier this morning you would know that I am slightly sleep deprived today. I plan on getting to bed around 11 so that I can sleep until 5:45 and then get up and take Zach home to get ready for school. It will be great to see the kids off to school for the 2nd day in a row.
Our little bio debridement friends (you know – the “M’s”) seem to be settling in rather nicely. They were close to being microscopic when Dr. Bob placed them inside Gary’s wound this morning. I think if we are going to have any negative issues with regards to our little friends it will more than likely start to happen in the morning. As they begin to grow they get feisty and squirrelly. I hope it is not too unbearable for Gary.
Gary’s room is either frigid or it is an inferno! There is no inbetween and believe me I have tried to strike the perfect balance between the two extremes. I guess we should keep it cold and cover up with blankies although I know the “M’s” like it nice and warm.
I am taking the boys to the Angels Game tomorrow night and our weekend is PACKED with events. I hate weekends like that. I need the weekends to be a little slower paced so that I can take a breather. I guess this weekend will not be the weekend to do that!
Well, off to bed. I am super sleepy and Zach is begging for an Italian Ice!
Have a nice slumber and I will blog in the morning if anything interesting happens overnight.
Thanks to everyone who has visited Gary! Rob C. , you need to come when Gary is actually in the room!
Good night and sleep tight!
Love, L
FRIDAY MORNING 1:00 AM
Is there no rest for the weary? I have been awake for an hour trying to help Gary. He has a 101 degree fever
and is in tremendous discomfort. The pain seems to be primarily stemming from his left leg sciatic pain. We just gave him 5 mg of valium and will add Toradol in about ½ hour. His heart rate is up as well due to not only the pain but the fever as well. Synara (his nurse) gave him an extra bolos (IV pain dose) and he can push his pain button every 10 minutes (when he is completely coherent).
I really thought tonight would be better. Then, I stop and wonder why I ever thought that. Nothing that has happened today has been in that “positive” direction. All I can hope and pray for is a much better day tomorrow for Gary.
Zach is konked out next to me. I think he could sleep through most anything.
I will try now to sleep since Gary is knocked out right now. I am sure I will blog again as his fever will break and he will chill with sweats – that’s always fun for everyone!!
Sleepless in 834W,
L
FRIDAY MORNING 6:00 AM
Well, I got about 4 hours sleep which is NOT enough. I am taking Zach home in a few minutes so that I can get the boys ready for school and then I will come right back here and go to bed for a few hours. I hope I am able to do that. I know Gary will be gone from the room from 8:50 to 10 AM for radiation and then we will check on his little "M's"!
Today was a long day for Gary. Monday and Tuesday seemed to be much better days for him but yesterday and today were not so hot.
Gary spiked another fever today and his sciatic nerve pain (down the left leg) proved to be incredibly uncomfortable. There did not seem to be enough pain medication to give him much relief throughout the past 2 days.
We are waiting for Dr. Phan (urologist) and Dr. Barth to come in tonight. His white counts are high (15,000) – they should be between 4,000-11,000. We will see what the good docs have to say.
We are watching dreaded reruns! I hate reruns!! Where are all the good shows? I need my TV fix. Zach is here spending the night and he spent the first part of the evening doing all of his homework. I had to take him to Sport Chalet today to get him new cleats. Thank goodness they were under $30 unlike Mr. Jax’s cleats!
If you read my blog from earlier this morning you would know that I am slightly sleep deprived today. I plan on getting to bed around 11 so that I can sleep until 5:45 and then get up and take Zach home to get ready for school. It will be great to see the kids off to school for the 2nd day in a row.
Our little bio debridement friends (you know – the “M’s”) seem to be settling in rather nicely. They were close to being microscopic when Dr. Bob placed them inside Gary’s wound this morning. I think if we are going to have any negative issues with regards to our little friends it will more than likely start to happen in the morning. As they begin to grow they get feisty and squirrelly. I hope it is not too unbearable for Gary.
Gary’s room is either frigid or it is an inferno! There is no inbetween and believe me I have tried to strike the perfect balance between the two extremes. I guess we should keep it cold and cover up with blankies although I know the “M’s” like it nice and warm.
I am taking the boys to the Angels Game tomorrow night and our weekend is PACKED with events. I hate weekends like that. I need the weekends to be a little slower paced so that I can take a breather. I guess this weekend will not be the weekend to do that!
Well, off to bed. I am super sleepy and Zach is begging for an Italian Ice!
Have a nice slumber and I will blog in the morning if anything interesting happens overnight.
Thanks to everyone who has visited Gary! Rob C. , you need to come when Gary is actually in the room!
Good night and sleep tight!
Love, L
FRIDAY MORNING 1:00 AM
Is there no rest for the weary? I have been awake for an hour trying to help Gary. He has a 101 degree fever
and is in tremendous discomfort. The pain seems to be primarily stemming from his left leg sciatic pain. We just gave him 5 mg of valium and will add Toradol in about ½ hour. His heart rate is up as well due to not only the pain but the fever as well. Synara (his nurse) gave him an extra bolos (IV pain dose) and he can push his pain button every 10 minutes (when he is completely coherent).
I really thought tonight would be better. Then, I stop and wonder why I ever thought that. Nothing that has happened today has been in that “positive” direction. All I can hope and pray for is a much better day tomorrow for Gary.
Zach is konked out next to me. I think he could sleep through most anything.
I will try now to sleep since Gary is knocked out right now. I am sure I will blog again as his fever will break and he will chill with sweats – that’s always fun for everyone!!
Sleepless in 834W,
L
FRIDAY MORNING 6:00 AM
Well, I got about 4 hours sleep which is NOT enough. I am taking Zach home in a few minutes so that I can get the boys ready for school and then I will come right back here and go to bed for a few hours. I hope I am able to do that. I know Gary will be gone from the room from 8:50 to 10 AM for radiation and then we will check on his little "M's"!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Doctor Barth
Good Morning.
Yes, it is 1:45 AM. I am just getting home from getting my hair done! My sweet girlfriend Kristin is an amazing hair designer and she works at Salon Sauvage. She stayed super late and she worked around my schedule and I am so thankful. I love my hair and I always love spending time with her! Thank you Kristin!! XOXOXO
I want to talk about Dr. Barth for a minute.
As most of you know Dr. Barth has not always been the easiest person for both Gary and I to communicate with. If you think about the relationship and how we met it is most certainly not under the best of circumstances. Both sides kinda stink. Gary has cancer and Dr. Barth only has patients who have cancer day in and day out - every single day. Gary is suffering and our family is struggling with this cancer and Dr. Barth has the challenge of trying to find things that will work to bring Gary out of his suffering. He is also Chief Of Staff at Hoag and manages patients at 2 different offices each day. We both have so much on our plates.
I respect him a great deal. He is absolutely brilliant and God has given him a great gift. But his intelligence and ability to manage his life is not the greatest gift he has given us. Recently, he has given us the gift of open communication and that means the world to us. He manages to find a way to communicate with us so that we can understand where we are at and what we are looking for. The boys think he is the greatest because he takes such good care of their dad.
Dr. Barth has opened up to us and it has made such an impact and difference in our lives. It would be hard to articulate to all of you how incredible it is. I hope and pray the lines stay open and we continue with this great relationship. He makes Gary's cancer easier to cope with each day.
So, I thank Dr. Barth for caring enough about Gary to do everything in his power to try to heal him. When he comes into our room at Hoag smiling and laughing and talking about creepy crawly maggots and the like we just love that! Gary needs some sensitivity and softness and Dr. Barth has given that to him.
I can't imagine dealing with all that he deals with on a day to day basis. Gary is just one of hundreds of patients. I pray for Dr. Barth every night that his load is not too heavy to bear and that if it seems to be that he will give some of it to God so that He can help him during those times. I hope that you can pray for him for that very thing as well.
We all know that ultimately that saving Gary's life is not in Dr. Barth's hands. Gary's fate has already been determined by the Lord and we wait patiently to see how our story will unfold. We hope and pray that God does not need Gary in the heavens but that he has lots more work to do here on earth.
Tomorrow at 9 AM Gary will begin bio debreedment therapy (a nice way of telling you that they are going to fill his wound with maggots)!
I will keep you all updated. BTW - Gary's white count CATAPULTED from 900 to 6000 overnight! He is so incredibly strong and such a warrior!
Have a great Thursday and please remember to pray for Dr. Barth. Pray for all of the people who struggle with cancer day in and day out. They are all so brave and they deserve our respect and they need our prayers!
Love to all,
Lisa
Yes, it is 1:45 AM. I am just getting home from getting my hair done! My sweet girlfriend Kristin is an amazing hair designer and she works at Salon Sauvage. She stayed super late and she worked around my schedule and I am so thankful. I love my hair and I always love spending time with her! Thank you Kristin!! XOXOXO
I want to talk about Dr. Barth for a minute.
As most of you know Dr. Barth has not always been the easiest person for both Gary and I to communicate with. If you think about the relationship and how we met it is most certainly not under the best of circumstances. Both sides kinda stink. Gary has cancer and Dr. Barth only has patients who have cancer day in and day out - every single day. Gary is suffering and our family is struggling with this cancer and Dr. Barth has the challenge of trying to find things that will work to bring Gary out of his suffering. He is also Chief Of Staff at Hoag and manages patients at 2 different offices each day. We both have so much on our plates.
I respect him a great deal. He is absolutely brilliant and God has given him a great gift. But his intelligence and ability to manage his life is not the greatest gift he has given us. Recently, he has given us the gift of open communication and that means the world to us. He manages to find a way to communicate with us so that we can understand where we are at and what we are looking for. The boys think he is the greatest because he takes such good care of their dad.
Dr. Barth has opened up to us and it has made such an impact and difference in our lives. It would be hard to articulate to all of you how incredible it is. I hope and pray the lines stay open and we continue with this great relationship. He makes Gary's cancer easier to cope with each day.
So, I thank Dr. Barth for caring enough about Gary to do everything in his power to try to heal him. When he comes into our room at Hoag smiling and laughing and talking about creepy crawly maggots and the like we just love that! Gary needs some sensitivity and softness and Dr. Barth has given that to him.
I can't imagine dealing with all that he deals with on a day to day basis. Gary is just one of hundreds of patients. I pray for Dr. Barth every night that his load is not too heavy to bear and that if it seems to be that he will give some of it to God so that He can help him during those times. I hope that you can pray for him for that very thing as well.
We all know that ultimately that saving Gary's life is not in Dr. Barth's hands. Gary's fate has already been determined by the Lord and we wait patiently to see how our story will unfold. We hope and pray that God does not need Gary in the heavens but that he has lots more work to do here on earth.
Tomorrow at 9 AM Gary will begin bio debreedment therapy (a nice way of telling you that they are going to fill his wound with maggots)!
I will keep you all updated. BTW - Gary's white count CATAPULTED from 900 to 6000 overnight! He is so incredibly strong and such a warrior!
Have a great Thursday and please remember to pray for Dr. Barth. Pray for all of the people who struggle with cancer day in and day out. They are all so brave and they deserve our respect and they need our prayers!
Love to all,
Lisa
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Maggots and other fun stuff
Well, Gary has had a couple of better days. He seems to be in a little less pain. The scare with his liver and gall bladder turned out to be complications with the TPN (IV feeding system) thank God. Today is the first day with no fever. They are going to feed him through a tube to supplement what he is eating on his own until he can consume more calories.
His wound is not healing as well as the wound docs would like so they have given us a new proposal. They want to use sterilized maggots to heal his abdominal wound. There are only 3 places in the world that breed the maggots and Dr. Sherman at UCI is the pioneer and that is where we would get them from.
Everyone is on board but Gary. The maggots would be in his wound for 2 days. They would clean out all of the necrotic tissue and give Gary a jump start on his healing.
The thought of the little disgusting things crawling around in Gary's wound gives him the heebee jeebies!
Most of us know that they have been using maggots for thousands of years for many medical purposes.
Last week I had an infestation of maggots in my trash can and the mere sight of them grosses me out. How ironic we are broaching this subject! Let's pray that if the maggot route is the way to go that Gary makes that decision and we move forward with that.
Gary is eating more and talking more and walking more. He can walk with the walker to the door and back with help and that is great for him right now!
So, we will hold on to these past couple of days and pray for more good days for Gary. When his pain does not control his life it makes a HUGE difference!
I am going to spend some time with the boys and take them to Disneyland with Jeff and Joyce (Aunt & Uncle). I am sure they will have a blast!
Kelli and Ed - There are no words to thank you for your kindness! You are both amazing and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Everyone else - The doctors and nurses at Hoag are continually overwhelmed by all of your cards and the stories we tell everyone! We constantly are amazed by all of your support and love and rest assured you have not only blessed our family but you bless everyone we share your acts of kindness with! There have been many tears shed at Hoag when we share our story with everyone! Thank you all so much again and again and again..........over and over and over!
I need to get the boys.
Love to you all,
L
His wound is not healing as well as the wound docs would like so they have given us a new proposal. They want to use sterilized maggots to heal his abdominal wound. There are only 3 places in the world that breed the maggots and Dr. Sherman at UCI is the pioneer and that is where we would get them from.
Everyone is on board but Gary. The maggots would be in his wound for 2 days. They would clean out all of the necrotic tissue and give Gary a jump start on his healing.
The thought of the little disgusting things crawling around in Gary's wound gives him the heebee jeebies!
Most of us know that they have been using maggots for thousands of years for many medical purposes.
Last week I had an infestation of maggots in my trash can and the mere sight of them grosses me out. How ironic we are broaching this subject! Let's pray that if the maggot route is the way to go that Gary makes that decision and we move forward with that.
Gary is eating more and talking more and walking more. He can walk with the walker to the door and back with help and that is great for him right now!
So, we will hold on to these past couple of days and pray for more good days for Gary. When his pain does not control his life it makes a HUGE difference!
I am going to spend some time with the boys and take them to Disneyland with Jeff and Joyce (Aunt & Uncle). I am sure they will have a blast!
Kelli and Ed - There are no words to thank you for your kindness! You are both amazing and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Everyone else - The doctors and nurses at Hoag are continually overwhelmed by all of your cards and the stories we tell everyone! We constantly are amazed by all of your support and love and rest assured you have not only blessed our family but you bless everyone we share your acts of kindness with! There have been many tears shed at Hoag when we share our story with everyone! Thank you all so much again and again and again..........over and over and over!
I need to get the boys.
Love to you all,
L
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Mixed Bag
Jax can arm fart like nobodys business! It is sooooooooo incredibly loud that one wonders how such a little guy could do that! He is doing it now as I write! Under the arm, under the knee, hands on the mouth, etc..... So talented our son is!
Migraines suck. I have had one off and on for 2 days now! It is hard to function at full speed when this nagging headache is exhausting me. I guess I will take 4 Advil and have a Margarita while I enjoy the company of our Home Group! What a great Home Group we have! They got dinner together tonight and everyone brought food and made it all happen! Gary and I just love all of you!
So much has happened and I have had very little time to report back to all of you.
Gary had his pelvic region aspirated (long needle inserted into his pelvis) to see if there was a pool of infection. Results are pending and yes it was painful. Gary has had 100 to 103 degree fevers consistently over the past week and the docs have still not agreed as to what might be causing them. He will have a Hydrascan on his gall bladder this week and he starts radiation tomorrow.
After watching Gary lay in bed most days and looking at the ceiling with tears rolling down his cheeks I felt in my heart that we needed to really have a heart to heart. He has endured incredible bouts of pain and suffering and I know it is taking a toll on him both physically and mentally. I love him so much and I was hoping I could help him. We had a long talk the other day and I told him that he only had 3 things he needed to work on. The doctors and everyone else around him will work on all the other stuff but these three things are things ONLY Gary can do.......Talk, walk and eat. I had to challenge him because he has not been doing any of those things. These things are so important if Gary is going to get better and come home. I want him to realize that he still has control over these things.
So far, Gary has stepped up for the challenge. He has been talking and eating and even doing a little bit of walking. Although today Dr. Barth told Gary that he was not allowed to get out of bed and this is why.
Gary's white cell count has dropped dramatically. The normal person is between 4300 and 11800 and Gary is at 100! So, I have something to ask of you.
IF YOU HAVE FELT UNDER THE WEATHER OR YOU HAVE KIDS THAT ARE UNDER THE WEATHER PLEASE DO NOT COME AND SEE GARY. THEY WILL NOT LET YOU IN HIS ROOM BECAUSE HE IS EXTREMELY SUSEPTIBLE TO GETTING SICK. IF YOU COME PLEASE DO NOT BRING FLOWERS OR FRESH FRUIT/VEGES. HE LOVES TO SEE ALL OF YOU and I promise to let all of you know when this restriction has been lifted.
Also, WE NEED MORE BLOOD. O+ or O- is perfect! Gary has been getting 2 units per day right now while he is in treatment and every little bit helps. You can call Hoag @ 764-5621 and make an appt. and tell them you are giving blood specifically for Gary Sallee. Thank you in advance for helping. So many of you have already helped and Gary and I both appreciate it so very much!
I just got the kids in bed and their lunches made and their stuff ready for tomorrow and I will now head up to the hospital!
FYI - Both Nate and Zach had great baseball games today and Nate pitched for the first time and did a great job!
Jax was a trooper hanging out in the 90 degree heat while his brothers played! He had a buy this week and does not play until next week.
Please pray for Gary. Pray that he continues to eat and talk - two simple things that will help him tremendously!
Pray that the treatment is not too brutal on him this week.
Good Night and All our love,
L & G
Migraines suck. I have had one off and on for 2 days now! It is hard to function at full speed when this nagging headache is exhausting me. I guess I will take 4 Advil and have a Margarita while I enjoy the company of our Home Group! What a great Home Group we have! They got dinner together tonight and everyone brought food and made it all happen! Gary and I just love all of you!
So much has happened and I have had very little time to report back to all of you.
Gary had his pelvic region aspirated (long needle inserted into his pelvis) to see if there was a pool of infection. Results are pending and yes it was painful. Gary has had 100 to 103 degree fevers consistently over the past week and the docs have still not agreed as to what might be causing them. He will have a Hydrascan on his gall bladder this week and he starts radiation tomorrow.
After watching Gary lay in bed most days and looking at the ceiling with tears rolling down his cheeks I felt in my heart that we needed to really have a heart to heart. He has endured incredible bouts of pain and suffering and I know it is taking a toll on him both physically and mentally. I love him so much and I was hoping I could help him. We had a long talk the other day and I told him that he only had 3 things he needed to work on. The doctors and everyone else around him will work on all the other stuff but these three things are things ONLY Gary can do.......Talk, walk and eat. I had to challenge him because he has not been doing any of those things. These things are so important if Gary is going to get better and come home. I want him to realize that he still has control over these things.
So far, Gary has stepped up for the challenge. He has been talking and eating and even doing a little bit of walking. Although today Dr. Barth told Gary that he was not allowed to get out of bed and this is why.
Gary's white cell count has dropped dramatically. The normal person is between 4300 and 11800 and Gary is at 100! So, I have something to ask of you.
IF YOU HAVE FELT UNDER THE WEATHER OR YOU HAVE KIDS THAT ARE UNDER THE WEATHER PLEASE DO NOT COME AND SEE GARY. THEY WILL NOT LET YOU IN HIS ROOM BECAUSE HE IS EXTREMELY SUSEPTIBLE TO GETTING SICK. IF YOU COME PLEASE DO NOT BRING FLOWERS OR FRESH FRUIT/VEGES. HE LOVES TO SEE ALL OF YOU and I promise to let all of you know when this restriction has been lifted.
Also, WE NEED MORE BLOOD. O+ or O- is perfect! Gary has been getting 2 units per day right now while he is in treatment and every little bit helps. You can call Hoag @ 764-5621 and make an appt. and tell them you are giving blood specifically for Gary Sallee. Thank you in advance for helping. So many of you have already helped and Gary and I both appreciate it so very much!
I just got the kids in bed and their lunches made and their stuff ready for tomorrow and I will now head up to the hospital!
FYI - Both Nate and Zach had great baseball games today and Nate pitched for the first time and did a great job!
Jax was a trooper hanging out in the 90 degree heat while his brothers played! He had a buy this week and does not play until next week.
Please pray for Gary. Pray that he continues to eat and talk - two simple things that will help him tremendously!
Pray that the treatment is not too brutal on him this week.
Good Night and All our love,
L & G
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Baseball
Hi. I just spent 50 minutes feverishly trying on baseball cleats with Jax at Sport Chalet. Thank goodness I had them try their shoes on about 2 hours prior to practice.
Jax's feet have grown 1 1/2 sizes from spring ball. Of course none of the reasonably priced shoes fit him. We tried on every single cleat. I started with the cheapest and we worked our way up and up and up. Anyone who knows me well will not believe that I actually forked out $48.00 for his cleats! Oh my word! I was sick to my stomach. I am ALL ABOUT the deal and due to time constraints and last minute ill preparations on my part I was forced into purchasing la creme de la creme of cleats. Those had better last through spring ball!
Gary's tests all came back showing nothing. He went for some tests on his gall bladder and we will wait for the results tonight. I am on my way up to see him shortly.
I will keep you posted!
Love to all,
L
Jax's feet have grown 1 1/2 sizes from spring ball. Of course none of the reasonably priced shoes fit him. We tried on every single cleat. I started with the cheapest and we worked our way up and up and up. Anyone who knows me well will not believe that I actually forked out $48.00 for his cleats! Oh my word! I was sick to my stomach. I am ALL ABOUT the deal and due to time constraints and last minute ill preparations on my part I was forced into purchasing la creme de la creme of cleats. Those had better last through spring ball!
Gary's tests all came back showing nothing. He went for some tests on his gall bladder and we will wait for the results tonight. I am on my way up to see him shortly.
I will keep you posted!
Love to all,
L
I was gone yesterday from Noon to about 8 PM. I had to get some stuff done and run the boys around. It was the longest I have been away from Gary but he did have some friends visit throughout the day so that made me feel a little better.
Well, Zach and I get to the hospital and everything seemed great. Gary was talking to Rob and he was sitting up and alert. I was thinking that this was going to be a great night.
Dr. Barth came in about 8:45 and we had another great meeting. Dr. Barth has been seriously amazing and has been so loving towards Gary and he had a great conversation with Zach last night. Zach just loved him and Dr. Barth BLEW Zach's head up by telling him how good-looking he was and what a Stud he was! What a great self-esteem boost for Zach!
Well, during our conversation with Dr. Barth I found out for the first time that Gary had a 103 degree fever and no doctors were notified. I also found out as Rob and I were talking with Gary that he fell yesterday while trying to get back into bed from his chair.
Then, Dr. Phan came in and got nervous that Gary has had these fevers and he ordered an emergency CT Scan. So, the calm evening turned into a busy night and I have yet to sleep. At least Zach slept and did not hear much of the commotion.
The chest xrays were done at 11 PM and the CT was done at 2:15 this morning. Gary got back to the room around 4 PM and then they poked him and cleared his drains and messed with him for about an hour. He finally went to sleep around 5 AM.
I am eagerly awaiting the test results from the scans and xrays. I am on my way back to the hospital right now and will return home to get the kids from school and take Jax for some shots with Dr. Sears.
I will let you know how things unfold as I find out. Pray that they do not find anything earth shattering!
Love, L
Well, Zach and I get to the hospital and everything seemed great. Gary was talking to Rob and he was sitting up and alert. I was thinking that this was going to be a great night.
Dr. Barth came in about 8:45 and we had another great meeting. Dr. Barth has been seriously amazing and has been so loving towards Gary and he had a great conversation with Zach last night. Zach just loved him and Dr. Barth BLEW Zach's head up by telling him how good-looking he was and what a Stud he was! What a great self-esteem boost for Zach!
Well, during our conversation with Dr. Barth I found out for the first time that Gary had a 103 degree fever and no doctors were notified. I also found out as Rob and I were talking with Gary that he fell yesterday while trying to get back into bed from his chair.
Then, Dr. Phan came in and got nervous that Gary has had these fevers and he ordered an emergency CT Scan. So, the calm evening turned into a busy night and I have yet to sleep. At least Zach slept and did not hear much of the commotion.
The chest xrays were done at 11 PM and the CT was done at 2:15 this morning. Gary got back to the room around 4 PM and then they poked him and cleared his drains and messed with him for about an hour. He finally went to sleep around 5 AM.
I am eagerly awaiting the test results from the scans and xrays. I am on my way back to the hospital right now and will return home to get the kids from school and take Jax for some shots with Dr. Sears.
I will let you know how things unfold as I find out. Pray that they do not find anything earth shattering!
Love, L
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Thoughts
I just want all of you to know how incredibly blessed our family is.
I know I say it lots but I mean it more than you could ever know.
I am overwhelmed by the kindness and love that is shown to not only me but to Gary and to our 3 boys.
You are all so thoughful and amazing and so many other adjectives!
We literally could not be functioning without everything you all do for us!
Thank you millions and billions and zillions!
Love to all,
L
BTW - Gary is having an OKAY day today.
I know I say it lots but I mean it more than you could ever know.
I am overwhelmed by the kindness and love that is shown to not only me but to Gary and to our 3 boys.
You are all so thoughful and amazing and so many other adjectives!
We literally could not be functioning without everything you all do for us!
Thank you millions and billions and zillions!
Love to all,
L
BTW - Gary is having an OKAY day today.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
In The Thick of Chemo
Chemo symptoms are in full swing. Gary has had rapid heartbeat, fevers, chills, aches and he looks like he has spent a few days at the river with no sunscreen. The sunburn effect probably will not last.
Gary is hanging in there. Every day is a new day for both of us. Each day presents new challenges and every day is is a learning experience.
With that being said, I must go! Roto Rooter just left and my sink issues are no longer! Friends fixed the 2 toilets that were broken and we are in business now! The only thing left to do is to get the ice maker fixed.
The boys were nervous on their first day of school. I hope they have a great day and make lots of new friends.
Off to run errands and see Gary.
Love to all,
L
Gary is hanging in there. Every day is a new day for both of us. Each day presents new challenges and every day is is a learning experience.
With that being said, I must go! Roto Rooter just left and my sink issues are no longer! Friends fixed the 2 toilets that were broken and we are in business now! The only thing left to do is to get the ice maker fixed.
The boys were nervous on their first day of school. I hope they have a great day and make lots of new friends.
Off to run errands and see Gary.
Love to all,
L
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