Gary's Latest

Hi everyone. I had to update everyone since so many people have called and emotionally I am not able to speak with many people right now. You should see my eyes and I am so stuffy!

Gary has been in pain since Thanksgiving. It has been getting worse by the week.
On December 20th we saw our doctor and we got the "3 month cancer clear". At this time I asked the doc why Gary was still in so much pain and I also told him that the pain is getting worse by the day.

A very long story made shorter...........................

I took him to Mission on December 27th. They ran tests and determined that Gary has recurrent bladder cancer in the pelvic region and that his kidney was shutting down and that we needed to get him to UCI right away.
We sobbed for hours and hours and stayed up all night doing computer research........................Gary of course said not to worry because he doesn't think he has cancer.

We got home.
Next day.................we were at baseball camp in HB and got the call to get him admitted ASAP to UCI so that they could unblock Gary's kidney.

So..........
We check in. Gary gets wheeeled off to the procedure room.

We wait.........

Gary comes back with no procedure. The docs at UCI looked at his CT scan and determined that the docs at Mission had completely misdiagnosed him - COMPLETELY! So, Gary says I told you so and we are positive at this point.

However, we still do not know what the pain is or where is it coming from but it has completely brought Gary to his knees.
Gary is released the next day from UCI and I get to work.

I have been on the phone since that day getting everyone on board.
Fast forward to today, Jan. 4th.
Gary went for a bone scan this morning.
Right after the scan we went to the doc office and I demanded that he be seen and that his scan be read.
His docs are awesome and always bend over backward for our family. Lydia pushes everything through. :)

We go in. They read the scan. They come in and blindside us 100%.........

They tell us that they are almost certain that Gary has bladder cancer that has gone into his bones. WHAT???? Did they just say that?

So, I immediately ask if I will most certainly be a single Mom. My answer is yes.
I ask how much time I have with Gary.
3 months to 12-18 months depending on how the chemo works.

So, devastation fills the room and I am seriously struggling to hold back any of the things I am thinking.......
I do not want to be alone. I love Gary more than anything (except God) and he completes me. I want the kids to grow up with their Dad. I thought Gary and I would grow old together. All my dreams are being shattered in a matter of a few words.

Dr. A pulls me into the other room to show my the bone scan. He is fairly certain and will not BS me that this is cancer in his bones. He sees spots on the left and the right and on the spine. Can he tell me this 100%? No. But, he is gravely worried and tells me several times how sorry he is. This cancer affects less than 5% of the population.

So......................we get the pain management clinic to give him loads of drugs and we order an MRI to CONFIRM the BONE SCAN FINDINGS. This happens at 6 PM tonight.

9:30 PM..........Dr. Rodriguez calls. He has talked with an INTERN radiologist because the head radiologist is gone until Monday and there are no residents available to consult with.

So.............................he can't commit to anything at this point. Is it cancer? Maybe......maybe not. More along the lines of maybe but he won't commit. He has some Avascular necrosis in his right hip which they thought was probably cancer. Not cancer. The spot on his spine turns out not to be cancer either. The left hip is not looking as good as the spine and right hip but he still won't say it is or isn't cancer.

So..........where do we stand on this INSANE EMOTIONAL roller coaster? We are still in God's hands and he is still in charge of our lives. We will PRAY our hearts out that Gary is healed and we will pray that this is ultimately in HIS will and we will be positive!

Monday we will have more answers and Gary and I will meet with oncologists.

4 things can happen.
1. He might not have cancer - not likely but possible. That would be optimal
2. With chemo and radiation we could prolong his life if his cancer responds well to it - he could live 12-18 months possibly
3. Chemo and radiation might not do anything and we will know by the 2nd round - he could pass away within a 3 month period
4. Chemo and radiation could cure him - 5% chance.

We are all over the board!
So, we beg of everyone to pray your hearts out for a positive outcome on Monday! Please pray for our boys to be completely protected (we are not telling them until we know for sure where we stand).
Pray for me that I don't fall apart and pray for fear not to control our lives. Pray for Gary for his comfort and that his mind does not run away with him negatively.

I WOULD LOVE ANOTHER ROUND OF HEALING!

We thank all of you for your love, support and prayers!
I will keep you posted as soon as I have more information!

Love,
L