Posts
Thursday night. It has been a long day.
I went to the gym and lifted weights for an hour with a friend.
I went to get things squared away for work this weekend. I ran several errands with Bonnie.
Jen stayed at the house and did laundry all day as they are preparing to leave for Peru with the boys this weekend.
Jax got a new cast put on. This one is green and it will be on about 3.5 weeks. Then he will switch to a short cast for a few weeks and hopefully that will be it. 4 casts. 8 weeks later. Camo, blue, green and who knows what's next. I hope red.
I went to O'Connor today and picked up Gary's ashes. I can hardly believe it. I still can't. His body is in a box in my office. 4 separate bags of ashes. Zip tied. In a box. Seriously, in a box. My husband. The person I have been with for 14 years. It just takes my breath away sometimes. It is just so heavy.
So, now we plan the paddle out, the spreading of his ashes at sea, and taking a portion of them to the top of Summit. I think we will take some to Green Valley as well. The kids have definite ideas of what they want to do with them.
Jax signed his new cast tonight with a Sharpie. He put "DAD" across the top. He said he wants to save the cast because it has Gary's name on it. The boys all looked at the ashes and each had a different facial expression and comment. The have looked several times. Is that really Dad? "He is heavy." "Did the fire do this to him?" So on........... So interesting how inquisitive they are. I love that they make comments and ask questions. It is so healthy for them to process though this openly with me.
Well, Dr.Hinsley called tonight, Nothing is physically wrong with Hobie. His labs are all good and he is depressed and sad. No doggie downers. Let's see how he reacts to the new puppy. She/He should be here at the end of February or beginning of March. The boys are so excited. I am but I know how much work lies ahead for me.
Countdown to the dumpster! Tomorrow morning!! I am going to clean house!!
My parents got a generator from Dieta and Stuart. They drove it up from Nashville (3.5 hour drive) and they now have heat, a lamp and a tv. The heater is the most important as it was only 40 degrees in their house today. They were getting ready to move on out for a while. The incredible weight of the ice has paralyzed the city of Louisville and over 200,000 people are without power. Thank God for Dieta and Stuart and their generator.
I have been thinking about Dr. Barth a lot lately. He took such good care of Gary and I am so thankful that he cared for Gary. We were very blessed. So many of Gary's doctors were so wonderful. Dr. Fee and Dr. Ashkenaze and Dr. Phan and Dr. Gluzman and so many more. So grateful to all of them.
I am going to bed. I really need a good night sleep.
Lots of prayers and love for everyone.
Love and Hugs,
Lisa
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Reality
ASSURANCE for the day for all of you:
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalitites nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Gary gets to experience Christ right here and right now. That is an amazing thing.
UPDATE
Both Gary's parents and my parents are weathering a MAJOR winter storm. My parents have no power, no heat and they are not able to drive in the ice. They are huddled under the covers and are cooking on a Coleman stove with propane. I know Gary's folks are probably in the same boat. I feel a tad bit guilty enjoying the 70 degree weather we are having!
Reality sets in - in a new way every day - for me.
Every corner I turn I am reminded that Gary is dead. I no longer have a husband. It is a pretty hard pill to swallow. I am a single mother of three small boys who solely depend on me for everything. I have to re-do my life insurance and put together a Living Trust. I go to the gym - I am alone. I go to the grocery - I am alone. I fill out paperwork - still alone. I get into bed at night - really alone. No more conversations with Gary about our days or the kids or laughing about so many things. I guess I could laugh alone but people might think there is something wrong with me. (Hey now. No snickers.) :)
I got the Death Certificates in the mail today. I also FINALLY got the call that Gary's remains are ready to pick up. I will do that when the kids are at school tomorrow. I know I am still in shock. Numb most days. Sometimes it really hits me and I am overwhelmingly sad. Other times I can go about my business with relative ease and not think about my life. I miss him so much and I just wish we had more time together on earth.
Hobie is okay physically we think. I am waiting for the results fo the bloodwork tomorrow but both the Vet and I think they will be normal. Hobie has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The vet does not see many cases like Hobie but he has. I am not going to put him on doggie downers. He needs time just like the rest of us. I feel really bad for him because I can't talk to him. Our actions will be what helps him through this. He loved Gary so much and he was always with him. We will all be patient and loving with him.
I have my Facebook up and running. So many of you have a Facebook account. It should be fun trying to manage that.
I have a dumpster being delivered Friday. I can't wait to PITCH DITCH DUMP and TRASH so much junk that has been around this house for so long!!! I am more excited about that than anything else!
Off to the Apple store.
Love to you all,
L
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalitites nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Gary gets to experience Christ right here and right now. That is an amazing thing.
UPDATE
Both Gary's parents and my parents are weathering a MAJOR winter storm. My parents have no power, no heat and they are not able to drive in the ice. They are huddled under the covers and are cooking on a Coleman stove with propane. I know Gary's folks are probably in the same boat. I feel a tad bit guilty enjoying the 70 degree weather we are having!
Reality sets in - in a new way every day - for me.
Every corner I turn I am reminded that Gary is dead. I no longer have a husband. It is a pretty hard pill to swallow. I am a single mother of three small boys who solely depend on me for everything. I have to re-do my life insurance and put together a Living Trust. I go to the gym - I am alone. I go to the grocery - I am alone. I fill out paperwork - still alone. I get into bed at night - really alone. No more conversations with Gary about our days or the kids or laughing about so many things. I guess I could laugh alone but people might think there is something wrong with me. (Hey now. No snickers.) :)
I got the Death Certificates in the mail today. I also FINALLY got the call that Gary's remains are ready to pick up. I will do that when the kids are at school tomorrow. I know I am still in shock. Numb most days. Sometimes it really hits me and I am overwhelmingly sad. Other times I can go about my business with relative ease and not think about my life. I miss him so much and I just wish we had more time together on earth.
Hobie is okay physically we think. I am waiting for the results fo the bloodwork tomorrow but both the Vet and I think they will be normal. Hobie has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The vet does not see many cases like Hobie but he has. I am not going to put him on doggie downers. He needs time just like the rest of us. I feel really bad for him because I can't talk to him. Our actions will be what helps him through this. He loved Gary so much and he was always with him. We will all be patient and loving with him.
I have my Facebook up and running. So many of you have a Facebook account. It should be fun trying to manage that.
I have a dumpster being delivered Friday. I can't wait to PITCH DITCH DUMP and TRASH so much junk that has been around this house for so long!!! I am more excited about that than anything else!
Off to the Apple store.
Love to you all,
L
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Tuesday January 27
Good morning.
Many of you have asked about Gary's Dad. I just spoke with both of his parents last night and his Dad seems to be doing okay. His pain is minimal and his spirits seem great. I think they are both pleased with his progress. I pray that he continues to get better and that his pain is always minimal. They will be out here sometime soon to visit.
Hobie is not feeling well and we will be off to the Vet soon. I am not sure what is going on with him. I suspect he swallowed a balloon but that is just a hunch. The kids know he is not feeling well and they are worried about him. I will blog when I get back and give you an update. Maybe he just has a broken heart. We are sitting on the couch in Gary's old room. He sits in here sometimes. This room reminds me so much of Gary.
Well, baseball will be in full swing soon. We have both Nate and Zach's practice schedule and Jax will be placed on a team and be an honorary member until his arm heals. He wants to shag balls and suit up and be a part of a team. I am surprised - pleasantly - and I know the boys will have a great season.
Pray that Hobie is fine. He is one of the great loves of our family.
xoxo
Lisa
Many of you have asked about Gary's Dad. I just spoke with both of his parents last night and his Dad seems to be doing okay. His pain is minimal and his spirits seem great. I think they are both pleased with his progress. I pray that he continues to get better and that his pain is always minimal. They will be out here sometime soon to visit.
Hobie is not feeling well and we will be off to the Vet soon. I am not sure what is going on with him. I suspect he swallowed a balloon but that is just a hunch. The kids know he is not feeling well and they are worried about him. I will blog when I get back and give you an update. Maybe he just has a broken heart. We are sitting on the couch in Gary's old room. He sits in here sometimes. This room reminds me so much of Gary.
Well, baseball will be in full swing soon. We have both Nate and Zach's practice schedule and Jax will be placed on a team and be an honorary member until his arm heals. He wants to shag balls and suit up and be a part of a team. I am surprised - pleasantly - and I know the boys will have a great season.
Pray that Hobie is fine. He is one of the great loves of our family.
xoxo
Lisa
Monday, January 26, 2009
Hanging In
Hi everyone. It is Mnnday night and I am sitting by the fireplace trying to get warm. Dax and Trey are running around after Hobie and the boys are playing with Matt's iPhone. Matt and Zach went for a run and Jen and I are going to the gym again tonight after the boys all go to bed.
The boys went back to school for the first day today. It started out rough as Zach had a panic attack last night followed by a night of vomitting! Most of the night was spent helping him and cleaning up the bathroom! Can he not SEE the toilet???? He threw up all over everything but the toilet. I feel awful for him. He is struggling as all of us are. I think we had a good talk and he seemed to adjust to school towards the end of the day.
Jax and Nate and Zach pulled all of their Christmas and Birthday monies together to purchase the iTouch today. They love to play games on that thing. Let's see how they do sharing!
I forgot how much I loved working out at the gym! I missed it the past few months as Gary grew sicker. It no longer became a priority of mine but now that Gary has died it is a HUGE priority and Gary would be so happy. He knows how much I love going.
I dream about him every night. I had to take down all of his photos and put away everything that reminds me of him for now. It is TOO painful and RAW. It's hard to listen to music or smell his cologne on the boys. I finally got his car back from the shop and Zach was happy to see it in front of the house this afternoon.
We are looking for a female wheaten. I have to be honest - haven't looked that hard. But, the right opportunity will come along and I will seize it. I have so many kennel contacts so I am sure when I get to it things will happen quickly. It will be good for Hobie and that means good for me as I will go back to school full-time in the fall and be working lots at the church. Hobie has always had Gary and this way he will not be alone all the time! He is such a good dog.
Nate and Jax are processing through Gary's death much differently than Zach. They cry and get sad BUT they ask lots of questions every day. Did Daddy like this? What age was Daddy when he did this? So many questions. I am so glad they are talking about it. I am enrolling the boys in an art class that promotes expression of feelings. Even if it benefits one of them it will be worth it.
Pick Up Stix for dinner. Early bedtime for the boys. Gym for me!!!
Thank you all for your continued love and support. We love our family and friends and cherish all of you!!
xoxoxo
Lisa
The boys went back to school for the first day today. It started out rough as Zach had a panic attack last night followed by a night of vomitting! Most of the night was spent helping him and cleaning up the bathroom! Can he not SEE the toilet???? He threw up all over everything but the toilet. I feel awful for him. He is struggling as all of us are. I think we had a good talk and he seemed to adjust to school towards the end of the day.
Jax and Nate and Zach pulled all of their Christmas and Birthday monies together to purchase the iTouch today. They love to play games on that thing. Let's see how they do sharing!
I forgot how much I loved working out at the gym! I missed it the past few months as Gary grew sicker. It no longer became a priority of mine but now that Gary has died it is a HUGE priority and Gary would be so happy. He knows how much I love going.
I dream about him every night. I had to take down all of his photos and put away everything that reminds me of him for now. It is TOO painful and RAW. It's hard to listen to music or smell his cologne on the boys. I finally got his car back from the shop and Zach was happy to see it in front of the house this afternoon.
We are looking for a female wheaten. I have to be honest - haven't looked that hard. But, the right opportunity will come along and I will seize it. I have so many kennel contacts so I am sure when I get to it things will happen quickly. It will be good for Hobie and that means good for me as I will go back to school full-time in the fall and be working lots at the church. Hobie has always had Gary and this way he will not be alone all the time! He is such a good dog.
Nate and Jax are processing through Gary's death much differently than Zach. They cry and get sad BUT they ask lots of questions every day. Did Daddy like this? What age was Daddy when he did this? So many questions. I am so glad they are talking about it. I am enrolling the boys in an art class that promotes expression of feelings. Even if it benefits one of them it will be worth it.
Pick Up Stix for dinner. Early bedtime for the boys. Gym for me!!!
Thank you all for your continued love and support. We love our family and friends and cherish all of you!!
xoxoxo
Lisa
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Surgery Morning
Good Morning.
Jax had a great sleep and we have been delayed about an hour due to an emergent surgery that the doctor had to do this morning.
I have not been sleeping well as most of you might expect. I have been having dreams about Gary and they are all dreams that surround him dying. Yucky ones. Seemingly unexplainable ones. I hate unpleasant dreams.
I think I have been having anxiety attacks and they come on even when I think I am calm. I can usually ride them out and recover quickly with prayer. Whenever I stop and clear my head and pray I allow God to work through me and in me He is the reason I can find my center. I thought I was sick. Short of breath. Heart pounding. Headache. I guess this is what experts call anxiety and I frankly DO NOT WANT IT!
I hate grieving. I don't want to grieve. In my sound mind (I have one more than you think) I know Gary would not want me to grieve for too long. He wants me to be happy and he wants the boys to be happy. Amidst our grief we are happy. We laugh and we have fun together and we are out and about doing things together. No one in this house is hiding out under the covers day in and day out (although we may feel like it sometimes). We are a little worried about Hobie.
Hobie is grieving and he does hide under the coffee table a lot of the day. We are looking into the possibility of getting a puppy for Hobie so that when I go back to school in the fall and as I am gone more he will have a companion. We will contact the breeder we got Hobie from next week. The thought of getting a puppy is less than desirable some moments but the rewards and benefits just might outweigh those dismal thoughts.
Well, pray for Jax this morning. He has asked me 20 questions about the pins going into his arm. I can tell he is anxious and worried and I want to fervently pray that he will be calm.
Love to you all!
L
Jax had a great sleep and we have been delayed about an hour due to an emergent surgery that the doctor had to do this morning.
I have not been sleeping well as most of you might expect. I have been having dreams about Gary and they are all dreams that surround him dying. Yucky ones. Seemingly unexplainable ones. I hate unpleasant dreams.
I think I have been having anxiety attacks and they come on even when I think I am calm. I can usually ride them out and recover quickly with prayer. Whenever I stop and clear my head and pray I allow God to work through me and in me He is the reason I can find my center. I thought I was sick. Short of breath. Heart pounding. Headache. I guess this is what experts call anxiety and I frankly DO NOT WANT IT!
I hate grieving. I don't want to grieve. In my sound mind (I have one more than you think) I know Gary would not want me to grieve for too long. He wants me to be happy and he wants the boys to be happy. Amidst our grief we are happy. We laugh and we have fun together and we are out and about doing things together. No one in this house is hiding out under the covers day in and day out (although we may feel like it sometimes). We are a little worried about Hobie.
Hobie is grieving and he does hide under the coffee table a lot of the day. We are looking into the possibility of getting a puppy for Hobie so that when I go back to school in the fall and as I am gone more he will have a companion. We will contact the breeder we got Hobie from next week. The thought of getting a puppy is less than desirable some moments but the rewards and benefits just might outweigh those dismal thoughts.
Well, pray for Jax this morning. He has asked me 20 questions about the pins going into his arm. I can tell he is anxious and worried and I want to fervently pray that he will be calm.
Love to you all!
L
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
SURGERY
It has been kinda a long week so far. We are not sick but we are not 100% yet. The boys are eating slowly (Nate passed up Ruby’s today and no soda or a milkshake!). He must be sick!!!
Well, I took Jax to the Orthopaedic Surgeon today to get his big cast taken off and to have a short cast put on in its place. We took the cast off and off to xray we went. The moment they removed the cast I knew something was up just by looking at his arm.
So, his arm is not healing correctly and tomorrow morning at 7:45 AM we check in to the Mission Surgery Center so that he can have surgery. The bone needs to be re-broken and pins placed in the arm. He will then have a sling for 10 days and then a full arm cast for 2 weeks and finally the short cast we have been waiting for!
Are you kidding me? Have we not spent enough time in doctors offices and hospitals? How many surgeries can one family go through in a year! Obviously we have not had our fill yet so we will brave yet another storm and forge through it!
Poor Jax. Tears as he shows me how he thinks they are going to put the pins in his arm. He uses his hand as a hammer and hits his cast HARD to show me why he is scared. I wiped away his alligator tears and then I explained everything to him – openly and honestly. I told him it was going to hurt but that I had pain meds to help. I got him calmed down and now he is not stressing. What’s a few pins anyway?
Matt, Jen, Trey and Dax have been staying with us. The boys love to play with our boys and Jen and I are the only chicks in the house! It takes both of us to keep all the boys in line.
Gary’s car is being looked at right now. Something is wrong with the transmission. I have mountains of paperwork and forms to fill out and phone calls to make and more and more and more and it keeps piling up and up and up. Soooooooo much.
Happy Birthday to my Dad. Zach’s birthday is coming up in February and so is my Mom’s. Gary and I would have celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary on February 16th. I think I am going to take the boys up to the Griffith Observatory that day and we can ask the observatory to locate Gary’s star so that we can finally see it. We miss him painstakingly.
Little League is in full swing and we had our 1st snack bar meeting the other night. Some of the girls pitched in and gave me a silver heart Tiffany necklace! So beautiful and I am taking it to get all of our initials engraved on the back! Nothing like something from Tiffany to cheer a girl up!! XOXO
Off to Big Bear right after surgery. Jen will stick around and Matt is going to help me with the boys. Chuck and Jeanne are keeping their eyes on our house and Hobie is going to be with Ace for a few days. Hobie is seriously depressed. He loved Gary so much.
God covers us and we continue to put our faith and trust in Him. He is the reason we are going to be okay!
All our love! Pray for no more broken bones while skiing and snowboarding!
Xoxoxo
L
Well, I took Jax to the Orthopaedic Surgeon today to get his big cast taken off and to have a short cast put on in its place. We took the cast off and off to xray we went. The moment they removed the cast I knew something was up just by looking at his arm.
So, his arm is not healing correctly and tomorrow morning at 7:45 AM we check in to the Mission Surgery Center so that he can have surgery. The bone needs to be re-broken and pins placed in the arm. He will then have a sling for 10 days and then a full arm cast for 2 weeks and finally the short cast we have been waiting for!
Are you kidding me? Have we not spent enough time in doctors offices and hospitals? How many surgeries can one family go through in a year! Obviously we have not had our fill yet so we will brave yet another storm and forge through it!
Poor Jax. Tears as he shows me how he thinks they are going to put the pins in his arm. He uses his hand as a hammer and hits his cast HARD to show me why he is scared. I wiped away his alligator tears and then I explained everything to him – openly and honestly. I told him it was going to hurt but that I had pain meds to help. I got him calmed down and now he is not stressing. What’s a few pins anyway?
Matt, Jen, Trey and Dax have been staying with us. The boys love to play with our boys and Jen and I are the only chicks in the house! It takes both of us to keep all the boys in line.
Gary’s car is being looked at right now. Something is wrong with the transmission. I have mountains of paperwork and forms to fill out and phone calls to make and more and more and more and it keeps piling up and up and up. Soooooooo much.
Happy Birthday to my Dad. Zach’s birthday is coming up in February and so is my Mom’s. Gary and I would have celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary on February 16th. I think I am going to take the boys up to the Griffith Observatory that day and we can ask the observatory to locate Gary’s star so that we can finally see it. We miss him painstakingly.
Little League is in full swing and we had our 1st snack bar meeting the other night. Some of the girls pitched in and gave me a silver heart Tiffany necklace! So beautiful and I am taking it to get all of our initials engraved on the back! Nothing like something from Tiffany to cheer a girl up!! XOXO
Off to Big Bear right after surgery. Jen will stick around and Matt is going to help me with the boys. Chuck and Jeanne are keeping their eyes on our house and Hobie is going to be with Ace for a few days. Hobie is seriously depressed. He loved Gary so much.
God covers us and we continue to put our faith and trust in Him. He is the reason we are going to be okay!
All our love! Pray for no more broken bones while skiing and snowboarding!
Xoxoxo
L
Monday, January 19, 2009
I'm Still Here
I am still here and will continue to blog as long as you all are willing to continue on this journey with us. I am sorry this is so delayed. I have not had internet and finally I am up and running. We have been in bed with stomach flu for days and Jax is the only one who escaped it - so far.
I am overwhelmed right now. To be completely honest with you I am more than sad and having a difficult time. I do not have time to go into too much detail but the past week and a half has turned our lives upside down. Leading up to Gary's death was painful and confusing to say the least. Watching him die was awful. Watching our kids sob was just as awful. Hobie freaked out when the mortuary came to get Gary. Trying to get Zach off of Gary's body was gut wrenching. I could tell you so much more but I think I have writers block for the first time ever. There is so much I have to tell you but I am having a hard time trying to figure out just how to tell you.
I want to tell you that we are going to be okay. The grace of God is sufficient and He will carry us through. While I am more than sad for the boys and for me I am equally as happy for Gary because he is with Jesus and is no longer suffering. The Shack paints such a wonderful picture of heaven and that book changed my life and the way I view the world. You should all read it sometime.
Sit down. Buckle up. Hold on. This is Going to be one bumpy ride and I hope you are all going to journey with us. We rose and now we have fallen BUT we will get back up and I want you all to be with us while we struggle to do so.
I have to get some rest. I have been sick (serious stress and some stomach flu I think) BUT I do have a big day of cleaning and appointments and such. The boys are going to go to school and see how they do.
Please pray for the boys. Everything is "a first" for them. First time going to school without a Dad. First time going to the beach without a Dad. So on..................Even though they know Gary is always with them he is NOT PHYSICALLY with them and that is so painful and difficult.
Pray for me. Everything is so hard for me right now. Getting up. Driving alone. Everything because I am without my best friend. I need strength and peace. I filled out a form that asked for spousal information and I just broke down. The realization that I am alone is surreal.
Off to bed. I promise to write regularly.
Love to you all and thank you for your love!
L
I am overwhelmed right now. To be completely honest with you I am more than sad and having a difficult time. I do not have time to go into too much detail but the past week and a half has turned our lives upside down. Leading up to Gary's death was painful and confusing to say the least. Watching him die was awful. Watching our kids sob was just as awful. Hobie freaked out when the mortuary came to get Gary. Trying to get Zach off of Gary's body was gut wrenching. I could tell you so much more but I think I have writers block for the first time ever. There is so much I have to tell you but I am having a hard time trying to figure out just how to tell you.
I want to tell you that we are going to be okay. The grace of God is sufficient and He will carry us through. While I am more than sad for the boys and for me I am equally as happy for Gary because he is with Jesus and is no longer suffering. The Shack paints such a wonderful picture of heaven and that book changed my life and the way I view the world. You should all read it sometime.
Sit down. Buckle up. Hold on. This is Going to be one bumpy ride and I hope you are all going to journey with us. We rose and now we have fallen BUT we will get back up and I want you all to be with us while we struggle to do so.
I have to get some rest. I have been sick (serious stress and some stomach flu I think) BUT I do have a big day of cleaning and appointments and such. The boys are going to go to school and see how they do.
Please pray for the boys. Everything is "a first" for them. First time going to school without a Dad. First time going to the beach without a Dad. So on..................Even though they know Gary is always with them he is NOT PHYSICALLY with them and that is so painful and difficult.
Pray for me. Everything is so hard for me right now. Getting up. Driving alone. Everything because I am without my best friend. I need strength and peace. I filled out a form that asked for spousal information and I just broke down. The realization that I am alone is surreal.
Off to bed. I promise to write regularly.
Love to you all and thank you for your love!
L
Thursday, January 15, 2009
PADDLE OUT
Zachary would love anyone who can to please join him to celebrate Gary the one way he knows how - A PADDLE OUT!
TOMORROW MORNING AT 6:30 AM (FRIDAY 1/16) at STRANDS BEACH (The beach just south of Salt Creek).
Directions:
From Mission Viejo you can take Crown Valley towards the coast, Turn left on Niguel, Left on PCH, Right on Selva. Pass the big parking lot and park on the street. You will see the new paved trail down to the beach
From the 5 freeway you will exit PCH / Beach Cities which will put you going north on PCH, turn left on Selva, Pass the big parking lot and park on the street. You will see the new paved trail down to the beach.
We will have strung/loose flowers.
If you need a board please reply to this email or email Pam Nipelle at pam@mountainviewchurch.com
Bring your wetsuit and board.
Bring loose flowers if you want to.
THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT TO ZACHARY as he is having a very difficult time - to be expected of course.
I would love for as many people to support him as possible!
There is no better way than to start your day early in the morning AT THE BEACH!!
Questions?
E-mail me @ lisa@mountainviewchurch.com
TOMORROW MORNING AT 6:30 AM (FRIDAY 1/16) at STRANDS BEACH (The beach just south of Salt Creek).
Directions:
From Mission Viejo you can take Crown Valley towards the coast, Turn left on Niguel, Left on PCH, Right on Selva. Pass the big parking lot and park on the street. You will see the new paved trail down to the beach
From the 5 freeway you will exit PCH / Beach Cities which will put you going north on PCH, turn left on Selva, Pass the big parking lot and park on the street. You will see the new paved trail down to the beach.
We will have strung/loose flowers.
If you need a board please reply to this email or email Pam Nipelle at pam@mountainviewchurch.com
Bring your wetsuit and board.
Bring loose flowers if you want to.
THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT TO ZACHARY as he is having a very difficult time - to be expected of course.
I would love for as many people to support him as possible!
There is no better way than to start your day early in the morning AT THE BEACH!!
Questions?
E-mail me @ lisa@mountainviewchurch.com
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Some things to know for tomorrow...
The Memorial Service will begin at 1:00 p.m.
Presbyterian Church Of The Master
26051 Marguerite Pkwy.
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Childcare will be provided for any small children during the service.
Parking is limited; however there is plenty of parking across the street in the Pavilion shopping center. We ask that you please be respectful of business owners and do not park directly in front of their doors.
Due to time constraints at the church pre-school, the Sallee family will be unable to talk with you before or after the memorial service. The family looks forward to seeing and speaking with everyone at the reception following the service located at the Tijeras Creek Golf Club.
Reception
Tijeras Creek Golf Club
29082 Tijeras Creek
Rancho Santa Margarita
Tel: 949-589-9793
Sallee Family Donations
For anyone wanting to make a donation to the Sallee family, please send it to the following address:
Mountain View Church
P.O. Box 2058
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Checks should be made payable to "Mountain View" referencing the "Sallee Family Fund" to ensure donations will be applied directly to the family.
The Sallee family would like to extend their warmest thanks to everyone for helping them through this most difficult time.
Michele Merk
Presbyterian Church Of The Master
26051 Marguerite Pkwy.
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Childcare will be provided for any small children during the service.
Parking is limited; however there is plenty of parking across the street in the Pavilion shopping center. We ask that you please be respectful of business owners and do not park directly in front of their doors.
Due to time constraints at the church pre-school, the Sallee family will be unable to talk with you before or after the memorial service. The family looks forward to seeing and speaking with everyone at the reception following the service located at the Tijeras Creek Golf Club.
Reception
Tijeras Creek Golf Club
29082 Tijeras Creek
Rancho Santa Margarita
Tel: 949-589-9793
Sallee Family Donations
For anyone wanting to make a donation to the Sallee family, please send it to the following address:
Mountain View Church
P.O. Box 2058
Mission Viejo, CA 92692
Checks should be made payable to "Mountain View" referencing the "Sallee Family Fund" to ensure donations will be applied directly to the family.
The Sallee family would like to extend their warmest thanks to everyone for helping them through this most difficult time.
Michele Merk
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Reality
Less than 24 hours ago Gary died. My husband is dead. The boys father is dead. I can hardly believe it. Somehow it does not seem real. Is he really gone I ask myself. My heart races when I really think about it.
For 14 years we lived our lives together. Inseparable. In one breath all of that has changed. I know it is wonderful for Gary that he is out of pain and with the Lord but it is not wonderful for me or for the boys or probably for you.
I do not feel relief with his passing. I miss him – plain and simple. Tremendous pain in my soul consumes me. I am lying in our bed for the first time in 7 months and I am lonely. Empty. I don’t think I can sleep here. It hurts too much.
I didn’t have enough time with Gary. I am too young to be a widow with 3 small children. Life is hard enough when you have a partner to go through it with.
I know it sounds like I am whining but I don’t care. I am being honest and this is my reality right now.
Has my faith been shaken? Absolutely not. Am I mad? No way. Do I question God as to why he did not step in and save Gary’s life? No.
It’s just plain sadness. The boys are so sad too. We sat in their room tonight as we said prayers and they fired questions at me about Gary? Mom, they asked, what was Dad’s favorite food? Favorite restaurant? Color? Sport? Movie? So many more questions. They miss their Daddy so much and I know it is going to get worse before it gets better.
I have a few favors for everyone. First, I hope you can all make it to the memorial and to the reception at Tijeras Creek. I want the boys to see how many people care about their Dad and about them. I only have one chance to do this part and get it right.
Next, I understand how hard it is to know what to say to us. There is nothing to say other than you are sorry for our loss. We know he is not suffering and he is in a better place but that does not help us or change our sadness level. I do not want the boys to think that they are now the little men of the house or that they need to step up and help out more. Gary and I want them to be our kids just like they always have been. Please just tell them that you are sorry that their Dad died.
Last but not least please continue to pray for us. We will need loads of prayers in the weeks, months and years to come. I will keep blogging as long as people want to keep reading,
I probably need to go now and finish writing the program for the Memorial. I am getting the flowers tomorrow and then I am going to go to the church to figure out some things for the service. I need to get my hair done and I also need to put the picture frame together. I need to get a guest book and copy off the article about Gary from our USC visits.
Thank you to close friends who just show up with food and fellowship. We all need distraction right now.
My heart is still racing. The thought of sleeping alone for the first time is frightening.
Zach and I went to Bette’s funeral today. It was truly beautiful. Out to sea on one of the most phenomenal days.
The day before Bette died I wheeled Gary over to her house and he sat by her bedside. He told her that she beat him to it but he would soon be there with her. He tenderly blew her a kiss and we went home.
8 days later Gary would breathe his last breath and he would join Bette. Watching him take that last breath was so painful for me. Beyond painful. No wonder my heart is racing. I keep coming back to the fact that he is gone.
Rest assured we will be okay with time. God is with us and he will never leave. He will provide us with guidance and surround us with support and love just as he always has. I guess we just need some patience for peace.
Thee obituary will be in the register on Tuesday.
I hope you all come to the Memorial as we remember our Gary.
With sadness,love, and hope for the future,
Lisa
For 14 years we lived our lives together. Inseparable. In one breath all of that has changed. I know it is wonderful for Gary that he is out of pain and with the Lord but it is not wonderful for me or for the boys or probably for you.
I do not feel relief with his passing. I miss him – plain and simple. Tremendous pain in my soul consumes me. I am lying in our bed for the first time in 7 months and I am lonely. Empty. I don’t think I can sleep here. It hurts too much.
I didn’t have enough time with Gary. I am too young to be a widow with 3 small children. Life is hard enough when you have a partner to go through it with.
I know it sounds like I am whining but I don’t care. I am being honest and this is my reality right now.
Has my faith been shaken? Absolutely not. Am I mad? No way. Do I question God as to why he did not step in and save Gary’s life? No.
It’s just plain sadness. The boys are so sad too. We sat in their room tonight as we said prayers and they fired questions at me about Gary? Mom, they asked, what was Dad’s favorite food? Favorite restaurant? Color? Sport? Movie? So many more questions. They miss their Daddy so much and I know it is going to get worse before it gets better.
I have a few favors for everyone. First, I hope you can all make it to the memorial and to the reception at Tijeras Creek. I want the boys to see how many people care about their Dad and about them. I only have one chance to do this part and get it right.
Next, I understand how hard it is to know what to say to us. There is nothing to say other than you are sorry for our loss. We know he is not suffering and he is in a better place but that does not help us or change our sadness level. I do not want the boys to think that they are now the little men of the house or that they need to step up and help out more. Gary and I want them to be our kids just like they always have been. Please just tell them that you are sorry that their Dad died.
Last but not least please continue to pray for us. We will need loads of prayers in the weeks, months and years to come. I will keep blogging as long as people want to keep reading,
I probably need to go now and finish writing the program for the Memorial. I am getting the flowers tomorrow and then I am going to go to the church to figure out some things for the service. I need to get my hair done and I also need to put the picture frame together. I need to get a guest book and copy off the article about Gary from our USC visits.
Thank you to close friends who just show up with food and fellowship. We all need distraction right now.
My heart is still racing. The thought of sleeping alone for the first time is frightening.
Zach and I went to Bette’s funeral today. It was truly beautiful. Out to sea on one of the most phenomenal days.
The day before Bette died I wheeled Gary over to her house and he sat by her bedside. He told her that she beat him to it but he would soon be there with her. He tenderly blew her a kiss and we went home.
8 days later Gary would breathe his last breath and he would join Bette. Watching him take that last breath was so painful for me. Beyond painful. No wonder my heart is racing. I keep coming back to the fact that he is gone.
Rest assured we will be okay with time. God is with us and he will never leave. He will provide us with guidance and surround us with support and love just as he always has. I guess we just need some patience for peace.
Thee obituary will be in the register on Tuesday.
I hope you all come to the Memorial as we remember our Gary.
With sadness,love, and hope for the future,
Lisa
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Obituary
This is the obituary that will go into the newspaper sometime this weekend or the beginning of next week.
GARY K. SALLEE
November 9, 1965 - January 10, 2009
Gary Sallee, 43, died January 10, 2009 at his home in Laguna Niguel, after a long and brave battle with cancer.
Gary was born on November 9, 1965 in St. Charles, Missouri. He was the youngest of five children and moved to California at the age of 9.
Gary was a devoted husband and amazing father. Lisa and Gary married in 1996 and their three boys soon followed. Gary was incredibly loved by family and friends in his community. He worked hard and was loyal and committed.
Gary never complained, was completely selfless and was an inspiration to many as he moved through his illness with grace and perseverance. Gary was a strong Christian and stood firm in his faith and belief that Jesus Christ died on the cross so that now he could go to be with Him in heaven for eternity.
Gary is survived by his wife, Lisa, three sons, Zachary, Nathan, Jax, and his faithful companion, Hobie. He is further survived by his parents, siblings, other relatives and countless friends.
His memorial service will be held Wednesday, January 14 at 1:00 PM at Presbyterian Church of The Master.
The reception will follow at Tijeras Creek Golf Club.
His family requests that in lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to Mountain View Church in Mission Viejo. All donations received will be placed in a fund that has been established for the Sallee Family.
We would like to thank our family and friends for taking such wonderful care of our family during this long battle. You are all so loved and cherished.
GARY K. SALLEE
November 9, 1965 - January 10, 2009
Gary Sallee, 43, died January 10, 2009 at his home in Laguna Niguel, after a long and brave battle with cancer.
Gary was born on November 9, 1965 in St. Charles, Missouri. He was the youngest of five children and moved to California at the age of 9.
Gary was a devoted husband and amazing father. Lisa and Gary married in 1996 and their three boys soon followed. Gary was incredibly loved by family and friends in his community. He worked hard and was loyal and committed.
Gary never complained, was completely selfless and was an inspiration to many as he moved through his illness with grace and perseverance. Gary was a strong Christian and stood firm in his faith and belief that Jesus Christ died on the cross so that now he could go to be with Him in heaven for eternity.
Gary is survived by his wife, Lisa, three sons, Zachary, Nathan, Jax, and his faithful companion, Hobie. He is further survived by his parents, siblings, other relatives and countless friends.
His memorial service will be held Wednesday, January 14 at 1:00 PM at Presbyterian Church of The Master.
The reception will follow at Tijeras Creek Golf Club.
His family requests that in lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to Mountain View Church in Mission Viejo. All donations received will be placed in a fund that has been established for the Sallee Family.
We would like to thank our family and friends for taking such wonderful care of our family during this long battle. You are all so loved and cherished.
With Great Sadness
It is with overwhelming sadness that I tell you that Gary died at 2:31 this morning (Saturday).
The kids were all in bed with him and we embraced him as he took his last breath.
Words cannot begin to tell you how sad we are.
Please keep us in your prayers and we will give you an update when I am emotionally ready to.
GARYS MEMORIAL
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Presbyterian Church of the Master (corner of Oso/Marguerite)
1:00 PM
We are asking you to all join us. The kids would love to have all of your children there as well. The boys need to be surrounded by their friends.
The kids were all in bed with him and we embraced him as he took his last breath.
Words cannot begin to tell you how sad we are.
Please keep us in your prayers and we will give you an update when I am emotionally ready to.
GARYS MEMORIAL
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Presbyterian Church of the Master (corner of Oso/Marguerite)
1:00 PM
We are asking you to all join us. The kids would love to have all of your children there as well. The boys need to be surrounded by their friends.
Friday, January 9, 2009
What a fighter
Good Morning.
I wanted you to know that Gary is still with us. He has not woken up but is still breathing.
He is finally peaceful after a long ordeal early yesterday evening.
He sounds as if he is under water. His breathing has slowed but his pulse if good and he looks so peaceful and comfy.
He is warm and toasty and in the best of circumstances I would have punched him by now for the INSANELY LOUD AND REALLY LOUD SNORING he is doing. However, I have compassion despite what you might think and I will let him get away with it this last time.
I just want you all to be praying for peace for Gary. Pray for him as he gets ready to enter The Kingdom and be in the presence of Our Creator. He has fought the good fight and we are so proud of his valiant effort and tremendous bravery.
Just pray that love and light and peace fills our home today.
Pray for the boys. They have spent a lot of time at his bedside and they are simply inspiring.
I will keep you posted.
Love,
L
I wanted you to know that Gary is still with us. He has not woken up but is still breathing.
He is finally peaceful after a long ordeal early yesterday evening.
He sounds as if he is under water. His breathing has slowed but his pulse if good and he looks so peaceful and comfy.
He is warm and toasty and in the best of circumstances I would have punched him by now for the INSANELY LOUD AND REALLY LOUD SNORING he is doing. However, I have compassion despite what you might think and I will let him get away with it this last time.
I just want you all to be praying for peace for Gary. Pray for him as he gets ready to enter The Kingdom and be in the presence of Our Creator. He has fought the good fight and we are so proud of his valiant effort and tremendous bravery.
Just pray that love and light and peace fills our home today.
Pray for the boys. They have spent a lot of time at his bedside and they are simply inspiring.
I will keep you posted.
Love,
L
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Please No Visits Tonight!
During this time we are asking that our home remain peaceful and silent and ask that all visits remain on hold until I contact you personally. Please respect our wishes and we thank you for your understanding and love always for our family.
As you know, this is a hard time for our family, but Gary is no longer coherent and our family needs this time to be alone with him.
Please stay posted for updates, and pray for our family.
As you know, this is a hard time for our family, but Gary is no longer coherent and our family needs this time to be alone with him.
Please stay posted for updates, and pray for our family.
ABUSE
Just a quick sidenote.
It's official. Gary actually punched me in the stomach!
We woke up this morning around 5:00 and I was listening to Gary breathe. His throat muscles are not working as well and so secretions build up. It sounds like a gurgle when he is breathing and I needed to give him some medications to help with that.
I leaned over and he was hallucinating and he actually gave me his best shot! He realized what he did and then told me that he was just trying move something. He felt so bad. Poor guy.
I am sure many of you have wanted to give me your best shot so I think we
can consider it done! Gary represented all of you well!!!
Have a good morning.
Love, L
It's official. Gary actually punched me in the stomach!
We woke up this morning around 5:00 and I was listening to Gary breathe. His throat muscles are not working as well and so secretions build up. It sounds like a gurgle when he is breathing and I needed to give him some medications to help with that.
I leaned over and he was hallucinating and he actually gave me his best shot! He realized what he did and then told me that he was just trying move something. He felt so bad. Poor guy.
I am sure many of you have wanted to give me your best shot so I think we
can consider it done! Gary represented all of you well!!!
Have a good morning.
Love, L
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Another Exciting Day at The Sallee House
We had kinda a bad day today. Gary was in excruciating pain and we had to basically knock him out. I woke him up this evening and he was awake from about 7:30 until 10:30 PM. He loves to socialize and we had a houseful of fun friends tonight! Gloria and Ren brought dinner over and everyone enjoyed it!
I had a long day today. Hospice came over today and we just love them. Then the boys came home and homework was in full swing. I went off to my staff meeting. Home from the meeting. 10 minutes later................... screaming and crying. I listen and it is coming from outside - on the trampoline that Gary never wanted for this very reason.
Jax, Jake and Zach were jumping on the trampoline and Zach accidently jumped on Jax's arm. SNAP! SCREAM! Walk-In ER here we come. Michele drove and sure enough Jax's Olna and Radius are both broken about 2 inches from his wrist. We have a temp cast on it and will go and get it casted tomorrow if the swelling is down.
Jax was in pain tonight and I gave him some codeine and now he is sound asleep in our room. 2 outta 3 nice and drugged up for pain! Zach and Jax have both had emergent situations while Gary has been sick. 3 trips to the ER. Nate has so far escaped injury and I hope it stays that way!
I am so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open.
I hope you have a great Thursday morning.
Love,
L
I had a long day today. Hospice came over today and we just love them. Then the boys came home and homework was in full swing. I went off to my staff meeting. Home from the meeting. 10 minutes later................... screaming and crying. I listen and it is coming from outside - on the trampoline that Gary never wanted for this very reason.
Jax, Jake and Zach were jumping on the trampoline and Zach accidently jumped on Jax's arm. SNAP! SCREAM! Walk-In ER here we come. Michele drove and sure enough Jax's Olna and Radius are both broken about 2 inches from his wrist. We have a temp cast on it and will go and get it casted tomorrow if the swelling is down.
Jax was in pain tonight and I gave him some codeine and now he is sound asleep in our room. 2 outta 3 nice and drugged up for pain! Zach and Jax have both had emergent situations while Gary has been sick. 3 trips to the ER. Nate has so far escaped injury and I hope it stays that way!
I am so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open.
I hope you have a great Thursday morning.
Love,
L
Update Wednesday AM
Good Morning.
Prayer Requests for friends:
Carolyn's Nana is at Saddleback Hospital. She is in her 90's. She has suspected pneumonia and fluid around her lungs. Please pray for her and her family needs prayer. Give them peace and calm. Nana is very special to them.
Jake Fuster is 14 and he lives in Las Flores. I was on the Viejo Little League Board with his father Dave last year. Jake has been diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia (see below) and is currently at CHOC. He is waiting to find a bone marrow donor and the hope is that his brother is a match. I am sure this is such a scary time for this family with this new diagnosis. Please pray for their family as they prepare to bring Jake home and get treatment underway. Pray for the same thing for them - peace and calm.
DEFINITION OF APLASTIC ANEMIA
A variety of blood cells course through your bloodstream — red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets. Red blood cells carry oxygen, white blood cells fight infection, and platelets help the blood to clot. In aplastic anemia, your body stops producing enough new blood cells. This means you're fatigued and at higher risk of infections and uncontrolled bleeding. A rare and serious condition, aplastic anemia can develop at any age. Treatment for aplastic anemia may include medications, blood transfusions or a bone marrow transplant. Once considered nearly always fatal, aplastic anemia has a much better prognosis today, thanks to advances in treatment.
Gary Update
I would have to say that Gary had a relatively good day. He was pretty drugged up for the majority of the day so we got to poke fun at him during his many hallucinations! Zach laughs as Gary appears to be driving a car. He shreds paper. He talks a lot! Gary tells us (with the help of lots of morphine) that he wants his body buried under the apple tree in the backyard so that he can fertilize the soil. Can you imagine? Such stories! At least the kids get a little chuckle out of it. It sounds morbid but like I said before we have to keep some comic relief going amidst the grim reality of what we face. Always a party - just sometimes Gary is the entertainment!
Saddleback Hospice was wonderful! They are coming back out this morning at 9 AM to get a plan in place and meds on board and so on. Meg was the admitting nurse and she was so great. Maryann will be Gary's new nurse and Candy will be our social worker. We should be in that appointment for about 3 hours or so. It takes time to get these things discussed and a plan in place.
I have a boat load of errands to run and I had to put them off yesterday so we will see if I can get them done today. We will have friends for dinner and I have a staff meeting at 4 PM. My Dad made it home safe and sound and now my Mom is pretty sick so she is kinda out of comission.
I am going to try and go back to sleep. Gary had a very messy problem hence the sadness that I am awake right now. There is absolutely nothing on tv right now. It is hard to get back to sleep once you have been up for an hour. I will try. I guess I will have to kick Hobie out of my way. That dog does not move. He just loves laying RIGHT ON YOU! I had to pick him up again and take him off of Gary's bed. Lazy dog!
Have a great morning.
With love and praise,
L
Prayer Requests for friends:
Carolyn's Nana is at Saddleback Hospital. She is in her 90's. She has suspected pneumonia and fluid around her lungs. Please pray for her and her family needs prayer. Give them peace and calm. Nana is very special to them.
Jake Fuster is 14 and he lives in Las Flores. I was on the Viejo Little League Board with his father Dave last year. Jake has been diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia (see below) and is currently at CHOC. He is waiting to find a bone marrow donor and the hope is that his brother is a match. I am sure this is such a scary time for this family with this new diagnosis. Please pray for their family as they prepare to bring Jake home and get treatment underway. Pray for the same thing for them - peace and calm.
DEFINITION OF APLASTIC ANEMIA
A variety of blood cells course through your bloodstream — red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets. Red blood cells carry oxygen, white blood cells fight infection, and platelets help the blood to clot. In aplastic anemia, your body stops producing enough new blood cells. This means you're fatigued and at higher risk of infections and uncontrolled bleeding. A rare and serious condition, aplastic anemia can develop at any age. Treatment for aplastic anemia may include medications, blood transfusions or a bone marrow transplant. Once considered nearly always fatal, aplastic anemia has a much better prognosis today, thanks to advances in treatment.
Gary Update
I would have to say that Gary had a relatively good day. He was pretty drugged up for the majority of the day so we got to poke fun at him during his many hallucinations! Zach laughs as Gary appears to be driving a car. He shreds paper. He talks a lot! Gary tells us (with the help of lots of morphine) that he wants his body buried under the apple tree in the backyard so that he can fertilize the soil. Can you imagine? Such stories! At least the kids get a little chuckle out of it. It sounds morbid but like I said before we have to keep some comic relief going amidst the grim reality of what we face. Always a party - just sometimes Gary is the entertainment!
Saddleback Hospice was wonderful! They are coming back out this morning at 9 AM to get a plan in place and meds on board and so on. Meg was the admitting nurse and she was so great. Maryann will be Gary's new nurse and Candy will be our social worker. We should be in that appointment for about 3 hours or so. It takes time to get these things discussed and a plan in place.
I have a boat load of errands to run and I had to put them off yesterday so we will see if I can get them done today. We will have friends for dinner and I have a staff meeting at 4 PM. My Dad made it home safe and sound and now my Mom is pretty sick so she is kinda out of comission.
I am going to try and go back to sleep. Gary had a very messy problem hence the sadness that I am awake right now. There is absolutely nothing on tv right now. It is hard to get back to sleep once you have been up for an hour. I will try. I guess I will have to kick Hobie out of my way. That dog does not move. He just loves laying RIGHT ON YOU! I had to pick him up again and take him off of Gary's bed. Lazy dog!
Have a great morning.
With love and praise,
L
Monday, January 5, 2009
HOSPICE PROBLEM SOLVED
God is sooooooooooo good. He has placed people in our life and on this path specifically to help us get through this trying time. What we are going through is devastating but I promise you that God always takes the bad and He shows the goodness through it. I wish sometimes He would allow the bad to just go away but only He knows what the plan is and who am I to argue with Him?!
Our Hospice coverage through Aetna is only $5,000.00. Our calendar year just started over with the insurance and we now have to pay an automatic $1,000.00 deductible to Hospice and then 20% of the contracted $5,000.00. So, in essence we would have to pay out of pocket from the start around $2,000.00.
So, stress sets in as $$ is always an issue. Just in the nick of time Matt calls. He is at Saddleback Hospice as he works closely with them in his business. Evidently, Saddleback Hospice wants to come in and offer full coverage hospice at no charge for Gary. NO CHARGE. NO MONEY. NO COST. FREE. Can you believe that?
So, the only thing that was left to do was to contact Dr. Barth to see if he will still be our doctor. Remember that Dr. Barth ONLY works with Silverado Hospice. We have been waiting to get a phone call back from Piay (the one and only) to see if Dr. Barth will work with Saddleback.
We just got the call. Dr. Barth loves our family and he will do anything for Gary and of course he will work with Saddleback to help us with the cost! I don't think you could understand how HUGE that is for our family. He has always taken care of Gary and he will continue to do so.
How are we so lucky? God is blessing us through even the most awful time.
I just wanted you all to know this amazing news. Now we have one less huge thing to stress about!
GOD IS GOOD! So is Matt and Dr. Barth and Piay and all of you!! YEAH!!!!!
BTW - a HUGE thank you to our Little League Board for their kindness and support!!!
Love to you all,
L
Our Hospice coverage through Aetna is only $5,000.00. Our calendar year just started over with the insurance and we now have to pay an automatic $1,000.00 deductible to Hospice and then 20% of the contracted $5,000.00. So, in essence we would have to pay out of pocket from the start around $2,000.00.
So, stress sets in as $$ is always an issue. Just in the nick of time Matt calls. He is at Saddleback Hospice as he works closely with them in his business. Evidently, Saddleback Hospice wants to come in and offer full coverage hospice at no charge for Gary. NO CHARGE. NO MONEY. NO COST. FREE. Can you believe that?
So, the only thing that was left to do was to contact Dr. Barth to see if he will still be our doctor. Remember that Dr. Barth ONLY works with Silverado Hospice. We have been waiting to get a phone call back from Piay (the one and only) to see if Dr. Barth will work with Saddleback.
We just got the call. Dr. Barth loves our family and he will do anything for Gary and of course he will work with Saddleback to help us with the cost! I don't think you could understand how HUGE that is for our family. He has always taken care of Gary and he will continue to do so.
How are we so lucky? God is blessing us through even the most awful time.
I just wanted you all to know this amazing news. Now we have one less huge thing to stress about!
GOD IS GOOD! So is Matt and Dr. Barth and Piay and all of you!! YEAH!!!!!
BTW - a HUGE thank you to our Little League Board for their kindness and support!!!
Love to you all,
L
Update
Well, Gary did a great job talking in church yesterday. He faced a full house and many of our friends and family were there. It was emotional for all of us and Zach really has had a rough go of it. All to be expected. We are so amazingly grateful for all of you! What would we do without you?
Every night we have had a full house of people. Dinner, drinks, friends, great conversation, bad jokes, laughter, football and so much more! We both just love it!!! My Dad left today and I am sure he was very sad to go. He will come back for the Memorial Service.
We are having problems with our insurance - surprise surprise! They do not want to cover Hospice for Gary given his age. He is too young to receive full benefits. They have given us a $5,000.00 cap which will only take us about 10 days. We are going to need to re-evaluate to see what course we need to take. We might have to go off of Hospice and have Dr. Barth prescribe the drugs needed to get Gary completely out of pain and comfortable. I am a little scared to do this by myself but we do have many RN friends who I am sure could help me. I will keep you posted.
The boys are back to school and I think we are going to take them out tomorrow to have a quiet family day. We will rent some movies and just hang out together. Gary does not have much more time (unless he totally shocks us and I will not put that past him)!
Hobie is still in bed as is Gary. I guess I will get myself dressed and ready for the day!
Love and Hugs,
Lisa
Every night we have had a full house of people. Dinner, drinks, friends, great conversation, bad jokes, laughter, football and so much more! We both just love it!!! My Dad left today and I am sure he was very sad to go. He will come back for the Memorial Service.
We are having problems with our insurance - surprise surprise! They do not want to cover Hospice for Gary given his age. He is too young to receive full benefits. They have given us a $5,000.00 cap which will only take us about 10 days. We are going to need to re-evaluate to see what course we need to take. We might have to go off of Hospice and have Dr. Barth prescribe the drugs needed to get Gary completely out of pain and comfortable. I am a little scared to do this by myself but we do have many RN friends who I am sure could help me. I will keep you posted.
The boys are back to school and I think we are going to take them out tomorrow to have a quiet family day. We will rent some movies and just hang out together. Gary does not have much more time (unless he totally shocks us and I will not put that past him)!
Hobie is still in bed as is Gary. I guess I will get myself dressed and ready for the day!
Love and Hugs,
Lisa
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Clearing Up Confusion
Okay. I guess if we have been confused then I expect you are as well.
I will try to explain everything very clearly to you so that hopefully you can be at peace with all that we are going through.
Plain and Simple - Gary is in the process of dying and he is reaching the end of his life as we know it.
Gary has pain from the cancer that he is no longer able to live with.
Gary has multiple infections in his body that we are no longer treating with antibiotics because we have been unable to control his pain.
Gary has in essence reached his breaking point.
Gary has lived with unimaginable pain for almost 2 years now. Granted he has had some "breaks" briefly with pain control but they have been few and far between.
The cancer in his bone in that left leg is getting worse by the day. On the dreaded pain scale Gary averages about a 7-8 every single day unless he is sleeping and that is unacceptable.
We are now on Hospice. This means we are no longer treating his disease and our goal is to make him comfortable.
To make Gary comfortable we are unfortunately unable to keep him awake and coherent. We will have to give him heavy doses of pain medication to get him out of pain. We are going to start this process on Monday.
We have gradually turned up his pain pump over the past 2 days and we have added liquid morphine for the break through pain. All of the other meds are still on board as well. He is more sleepy than usual but is still eating like a horse!
We are not sure as to how long Gary will live from this moment on. We will take each day as it comes.
I thank you for your patience and hope I have explained things so that you understand.
I just thank God for all that we have and the time we have had together!
All my love,
L
I will try to explain everything very clearly to you so that hopefully you can be at peace with all that we are going through.
Plain and Simple - Gary is in the process of dying and he is reaching the end of his life as we know it.
Gary has pain from the cancer that he is no longer able to live with.
Gary has multiple infections in his body that we are no longer treating with antibiotics because we have been unable to control his pain.
Gary has in essence reached his breaking point.
Gary has lived with unimaginable pain for almost 2 years now. Granted he has had some "breaks" briefly with pain control but they have been few and far between.
The cancer in his bone in that left leg is getting worse by the day. On the dreaded pain scale Gary averages about a 7-8 every single day unless he is sleeping and that is unacceptable.
We are now on Hospice. This means we are no longer treating his disease and our goal is to make him comfortable.
To make Gary comfortable we are unfortunately unable to keep him awake and coherent. We will have to give him heavy doses of pain medication to get him out of pain. We are going to start this process on Monday.
We have gradually turned up his pain pump over the past 2 days and we have added liquid morphine for the break through pain. All of the other meds are still on board as well. He is more sleepy than usual but is still eating like a horse!
We are not sure as to how long Gary will live from this moment on. We will take each day as it comes.
I thank you for your patience and hope I have explained things so that you understand.
I just thank God for all that we have and the time we have had together!
All my love,
L
Misguided friends and plastic flowers
IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH: I DID NOT MAKE MS a martini last night! He told his lovely pregnant wife that I forced his hand in drinking yet another martini and that is simply NOT TRUE!!!!! He drank his martini all by himself.
One of my friends who will remain "anon" just to protect her dignity has a Mother who has done something very strange. She stole the plastic flowers off of several graves at the cemetary and took them home. She PLANTED the stinkin flowers in her white rock garden - each individual stem. I think she evens waters them! I am more than serious and that in itself is scary. For that very reason Gary will not be buried. He will be cremated so there will be no plastic flower stealing from his gracesite from any of you!
Back to business - One of Zach's wishes before Gary passes away was that he watched him surf. SM and MS took Gary to the beach today and parked Gary on the SC Pier so that he could watch! Gary had a good time and they even had fish and chips and fried clams together! It was somewhat of a good morning.
I am so sorry. It has been too long since I have blogged. To be completely honest with you I have not known what to say. Things have been sketchy and we have been wavering with decisions. I did not want to blog information and it change the next day and so on.
I know many of you have been patiently waiting for any kind of update and I wish I had blogged sooner. Even today things have changed - information and decisions - so many things to think about every moment of every day.
I just want you to know that Gary is speaking in church tomorrow if anyone would like to come. Church starts at 9:30 AM at Tesoro High School off Oso Parkway by the Toll Road.
Well, we had our appointment with Dr. Barth. Monday was the day that we really started making hard decisions. Monday was the turning point. Gary has made the decision to go on Hospice.
Hospice, for those of you who are not familiar, is a company that provides care to people with terminal illnesses who are dying. Hospice comes in usually at the end of someones life to help keep them comfortable and to aid and assist the family with anything needed.
Tuesday we went to USC and then on Wednesday we went over to Bette's house (our neighbor with lung cancer) to say goodbye to her as she was in a medical coma. We were sitting by her bedside and we were talking to her and I looked over at Gary and asked him if this is what he was ready for. At that very moment Gary told me that he was ready to be out of pain and peaceful. What a reality check for both of us.
We have spent days crying and talking to friends and family and in essence Gary has been saying goodbye to so many people. Tomorrow at church he wants to talk to everyone in one venue and this is one of the last hings he wants to do before we really medicate him and get him completely comfortable.
We are making arrangements for the Memorial Service and for the reception to follow. We have written letters and his obituary and we are getting everything lined up.
Please know that you are all so important to us. I am really sorry I have not written sooner. Gary's pain is out of control. There is nothing any doctor can do for him. His cancer on the left side is progressing and he has been struggling with fevers and infections and of course the pain in his left leg. Unless God gives us a miracle Gary will not be long for this world.
We are in awe of all of you. You have rallied around us for such a long time and we have been so blessed! Don't leave us now! Don;t even think about going anywhere! We will hunt you down!!!
I hope everyone gets a chance to see Gary speak at church. I hope he has something really good to say!
I will give you all the gory details of what we have been going through on Monday. Hold on until then and just pray for us.
Loads of Love,
L
One of my friends who will remain "anon" just to protect her dignity has a Mother who has done something very strange. She stole the plastic flowers off of several graves at the cemetary and took them home. She PLANTED the stinkin flowers in her white rock garden - each individual stem. I think she evens waters them! I am more than serious and that in itself is scary. For that very reason Gary will not be buried. He will be cremated so there will be no plastic flower stealing from his gracesite from any of you!
Back to business - One of Zach's wishes before Gary passes away was that he watched him surf. SM and MS took Gary to the beach today and parked Gary on the SC Pier so that he could watch! Gary had a good time and they even had fish and chips and fried clams together! It was somewhat of a good morning.
I am so sorry. It has been too long since I have blogged. To be completely honest with you I have not known what to say. Things have been sketchy and we have been wavering with decisions. I did not want to blog information and it change the next day and so on.
I know many of you have been patiently waiting for any kind of update and I wish I had blogged sooner. Even today things have changed - information and decisions - so many things to think about every moment of every day.
I just want you to know that Gary is speaking in church tomorrow if anyone would like to come. Church starts at 9:30 AM at Tesoro High School off Oso Parkway by the Toll Road.
Well, we had our appointment with Dr. Barth. Monday was the day that we really started making hard decisions. Monday was the turning point. Gary has made the decision to go on Hospice.
Hospice, for those of you who are not familiar, is a company that provides care to people with terminal illnesses who are dying. Hospice comes in usually at the end of someones life to help keep them comfortable and to aid and assist the family with anything needed.
Tuesday we went to USC and then on Wednesday we went over to Bette's house (our neighbor with lung cancer) to say goodbye to her as she was in a medical coma. We were sitting by her bedside and we were talking to her and I looked over at Gary and asked him if this is what he was ready for. At that very moment Gary told me that he was ready to be out of pain and peaceful. What a reality check for both of us.
We have spent days crying and talking to friends and family and in essence Gary has been saying goodbye to so many people. Tomorrow at church he wants to talk to everyone in one venue and this is one of the last hings he wants to do before we really medicate him and get him completely comfortable.
We are making arrangements for the Memorial Service and for the reception to follow. We have written letters and his obituary and we are getting everything lined up.
Please know that you are all so important to us. I am really sorry I have not written sooner. Gary's pain is out of control. There is nothing any doctor can do for him. His cancer on the left side is progressing and he has been struggling with fevers and infections and of course the pain in his left leg. Unless God gives us a miracle Gary will not be long for this world.
We are in awe of all of you. You have rallied around us for such a long time and we have been so blessed! Don't leave us now! Don;t even think about going anywhere! We will hunt you down!!!
I hope everyone gets a chance to see Gary speak at church. I hope he has something really good to say!
I will give you all the gory details of what we have been going through on Monday. Hold on until then and just pray for us.
Loads of Love,
L
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