A Special Place in Hell

I spent a better part of the night absolutely SEETHING under my covers at the hospital. First of all I am more than upset that Gary is back here. It truly is bittersweet because the vast majority of the staff is amazingly wonderful and they take such great care of Gary.

The problem – the BIG problem – is the protocol here. For example, if Gary’s blood pressure dips low at home NO ONE is freaking out. It eventually goes back up and he is always responsive. But, when that happens here words like “septic” start flying and for some reason it just pisses me off. I guess I am sensitive to it because I have taken care of him for so long and I know him better than anyone despite that obvious fact that I am NOT an MD.

Do you all remember the blog I wrote with regards to the one nurse that I was not too thrilled with? She is a very nice and pleasant person but for some reason we clash and she annoys the HOLY HECK out of me.

I get back the hospital last night after spending some time with the boys and guess who is on the board as his RN? This particular nurse. Immediately my blood boils!!!!! She proceeded to tell me that Gary had been given a particular shot yesterday and she was not going to give it to him. I argued with her and told her that he was not given the shot. This shot is important because it is specifically designed to raise his white counts which are totally in the toilet. Hello! I think I would know that! Anyhow, I called Dr. Barth’s office this morning and spoke with his nurse and found out that she DID NOT give it to him in the office! So, once again I find myself fighting protocol and managing his care. It is so much easier at home even though it is more work. We love having him home and the goal is to get him out of here ASAP!

Up until this point there are only a hand picked few of my baseball friends who have a very special place reserved for them in hell as they are extremely “enthusiastic” baseball moms. After last night, I have joined them and I think I actually have sunk deeper than they have in the pits of hell.

I spent the better part of the morning asking God to forgive me although I do not think I am ready to be forgiven because I seem to be holding on to my ANGER! So, you should all pray for me because this is not a pretty side of me. I will eventually really want the forgiveness and then I will feel it BUT don’t expect me to go to her and give her due restitution for the mean and aggressive things I mumbled under my breath and to my Dad.

Gary had a platelet transfusion last night and his platelets have gone from 8 to 34 this morning (normal is 150-400) so we are on our way up! His white count is still super low at .3 (4000-11000 is normal) so we have a little ways to go with that one. He will probably have to have another blood transfusion today and we are waiting for the results of the CT Scans that were done last night. This should give us a better picture as to why he has such terrible back and abdominal pain.
He had a double cheese omelet this morning with bacon and toast. I think I will pick up something equally as yummy for lunch for him. He had an okay night last night and was only awake for a few hours. Some voluntarily and some not! Once again, the insane protocol of the hospital is so obnoxious. I am going to ask that his vitals not be taken every single hour and I will ask that they do not wake him to give him medication in the wee hours of the morning. JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE AWAKE DOES NOT MEAN HE SHOULD HAVE TO BE! I don’t do that to him at home. When he is asleep, LET HIM SLEEP! (I guess I still need to work on that anger issue I have).

The boys are covered by all of my dear friends until my Mom gets here on Saturday. Gary’s parents are planning on coming as soon as the doctors figure out what seems to be wrong with his Dad’s back.

It is a beautiful day in Newport and we are in the BIG corner room overlooking the ocean. Catalina looks beautiful today and I bet it will be a warm one once again.

Pete is coming today so that I can get home and get some things taken care of. We are starting Winter Camp registration this weekend for our 3rd through 5th graders at church and I know Zach is so excited to go even though it isn’t until February! I have E-mails to return, phone calls to make and bills to pay online and I do not have internet in this room.

Well, as Gary sleeps I guess I will get ready for the day. Hopefully the doctors will be in this morning and we will get some information. If everything looks okay in the abdomen and back I think we will be going home sooner than later for once! Keep up your prayers!

We love all of you and hope you continue to pray for us as we go down another road less traveled and figure out where to go from here. (Remember to pray for my attitude because it does need to change).

Back to paying the insane cable bill and sitting dormant all day!

Love from Hoag,

Lisa