February 7th

Well. It will be official tomorrow that Gary and I now have a 9 year old son! We were talking about when we first brought Zach home and he was so super tiny with his teeny feet and his mouth that was all drawn up low a bow. His newborn cry was music to our ears and we thought it was so cute when he would sit in his highchair and throw food on the ground! It was so difficult at that time to imagine him being 5 and in kindergarten let alone being 9 and in 3rd grade!

Now, his tiny little feet are as big as mine (and I wear an 8) and his mouth - well, it is never shut so I can't tell if it still draws up into a bow or not! His "cute" newborn cry is gone and has been replaced deep thoughts and intelligent reasoning. He no longer throws his food but it manages to still get all over the floor somehow!

Zach is such a wonderful boy full of life and compassion and ambition and he is a great brother, friend, nephew, grandson and of course son. We are so proud of our Zach! Happy Birthday to him!

I have had a few very challenging days this week. Last night was a rough night for me. I really did feel like someone beat me with a baseball bat! I have not been sleeping as well as I had been before (when Gary is in bed with me). Driving back and forth a few times a day is grueling and I have had the kids shipped off in all different directions each day.

By all accounts, I have always been "super woman". Gary tells me that I am and most of the time I always feel like I can get anything and everything done. For one of the first times in my life I am running behind a little! But the things that pile up like dishes and laundry, a dirty car and cleaning bathrooms and floors are unfortunately not going anywhere so it all can wait and I refuse to allow it to frustrate me or cause me angst. It is really hard to let go of my Type A personality.

Gary is hanging in there. He thinks he might feel a little better and stronger right now. We are hoping and praying that the radiation and chemo are working together to shrink and kill the nasty cancer cells! He should be getting chemo tomorrow and he will have his 5th day of radiation as well. Radiation makes him extremely fatigued and he struggles to keep both eyes open most of the time. Yesterday he sat up in bed for a while and stretched his legs and he made it to the foot of his bed to do some squats. He has been eating food we are all bringing into him because the food at Hoag is more than disgusting. I think he is making some progress!

He has the view we have always dreamed of having! White water views complete with stunning sunsets are the order of everyday when you hang with Gary! If you can forget that the 8th floor is the oncology ward and that everyone on the floor is suffering with and through cancer then just for a moment you can set your eyes on the magnificance of the Earth that God created for all of us.

Thank you to everyone who has and will give blood for Gary. I will have a list of everyone who donates so that when Gary takes on different personality traits I can blame it all on each one of you!!! We are really so appreciative.

We love the cards everyone is sending and Gary has them all in his room. So many kids have made cards for Gary and he loves to look at all of them. He enjoys everything you bring and send and he is looking forward to being home and then you can all visit him there!

I know I have written a novel here and I am sorry to have taken so much of your time.
Once again, we are so thankful adn grateful and your support and love and the fact that you care about our family so much amazes us each and every day! We really and truly mean that!

Have a great night and please keep us in your prayers. Pray that Gary is peaceful deep down in his soul (he has said nothing to indicate that he is not doing emotionally well but the extra prayers always help). Pray that the chemo and radiation are doing what they are supposed to do. Pray that I can slow down a little and get a little more rest. Pray that our kids continue to weather the storm and that their minds and hearts are free from anxiety and worry and fear. Pray that I can catch up on some rest I need.

Our God is a MIGHTY God and the good that has come from our struggle is everywhere! I should probably write a book about amazing people! You would all make it in my book for sure!

Peace and Love,
Lisa