Posts
I thought I had better blog this morning because today will get away from me and it will be 1 AM before I know it and I will be too stinkin tired!
Our boys are chomping at the bit to reserve a copy of Super Smash Brothers Brawl for the Wii! They have $100.00 of saved up cashflow and today I have promised them that I will reserve a copy for them! They will just have to patiently wait until March 9th to get the game!
I have a funny story about Hoag to tell you. As it was infuriating it was also funny! Malcolm and I wheeled Gary downstairs yesterday and I handed the Valet my ticket. Go figure that the Valet is free but you have to pay for TV! Anyhow, we waited for our car. And waited. And waited. And waited. I am not kidding when I tell you that everyone around us for at least 15-20 minutes were getting into their cars and driving away while we waited. So, Malcolm speaks up and nicely but forcefully asks where the heck my car is. Hmmmmmmmmm......... the guy says. It is a bit of a mystery because we see your car but we don't have your keys. Is this guy for real? I have like 30 keys on my keychain right now. It would be highly unlikely for these guys to have lost those keys. It is times like these where I wish I had the Clapper!
They search everywhere. I tell the guy that I saw him take my keys out of the valet box and put the on the counter. He questions me and tries to make me second guess as to whether or not I REALLY saw him put my keys on the counter. Once again, I am blond but NOT stupid. I know what I saw!
So, where did the keys go you are asking yourself??? Malcolm says to the guys after they had been chasing their tails for 10 minutes or so - Did you look on the counter? ...........................................................There they were. They had fallen behind the counter and were shoved in a corner. Poor Gary. Malcolm had wheeled him back into the hospital while we were waiting and we both felt like the parking gods were trying to keep Gary longer! But nothing could have kept us there! Gary was coming home!
As much as we loved everyone who cared for Gary is is such a relief to have Gary back home! We will still get to see Rose who wheeled Gary into radiation every day. We love her! She has been an angel sent from above for Gary.
It is so wonderful to come home to him on the couch. The Overseers from our church came over last night to pray with Gary and that is truly a blessing. We are so fortunate to be a part of our church family. They have been sooooooo supportive and to have 6 men come to our house with the soul purpose of praying with Gary is awesome.
My Mom is leaving today and Gary and I will drop her at the airport on our way to radiation. She has been so helpful and she loves our boys so much and she is always a blessing! She will be back in 2 weeks and then my Dad will join her and be here over the boys Spring Break! Auntie Robin will be here Sunday and Gary's parents will be here Sunday as well. Steph will come over to stay with all 3 boys today as they recover from varying sicknesses so we don't have to drag them to radiation! I think they will all be better for Opening Day tomorrow but you never know!
I slept on the couch with Gary last night. We will move into the downstairs bedroom after my Mom leaves and the boys will give Aunt Robin their room, the boys will be in our room and then Gary's folks will have the other guest bedroom upstairs. Musical Bedrooms!
The weather has been beautiful! I hope Gary gets a chance to sit in the backyard and soak up the sun today! Until yesterday he had not been outside in almost a month.
Last night Matt brought him A's Burgers and he ate it! Thank you Matt!
Nate is awake and the others are stirring. I need to get everyone ready and rolling for the day!
Please pray that Gary is comfortable at home.
Pray that the treatment is working and the cancer is being destroyed. I always picture his treatment like a game of Asteroids - for those of you who remember that game. The treatment is the laser gun and the cancer is the pieces of asteroid you try to blast in the game. Visually it is a great way for me to picture that in my mind! The object of the game (as well as the objective we have to completely destroy Gary's cancer) is to beat the game by having a blank screen! WE WANT THE BLANK SCREEN!!!!!
Have a great Friday and I will blog again on SUNDAY to give you a report!
Love,
L
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
What We Have Been Waiting For
DRUM ROLL PLEASE .....................................
Gary is finally coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He should be home by 3 PM Thursday afternoon. We are overjoyed and super excited! Jax talked about it all afternoon. He claps and jumps up and down and yells Daddy's coming home! Daddy's coming home!!
I went to the hospital today and gave Gary his final hospital shower and removed the hundreds of cards and posters that adorned Room 828. Todd and I got everything packed up and only a few vases and a basket and his going home clothes remain in his room.
It is hard to believe that he really is coming home! The doctors are pleased with his progress with pain management and we hope that the decreasing pain is a combination of the right drugs, the nerve block and the cancer dying out!
My friend Sam came to see me today and she brought her Bible and we discussed the story in Mark about the paralytic who was lowered down from the rafters by his friends just to see Jesus.
In many ways Gary is the paralytic man and everyone who has prayed for him and placed him at the threshhold of the Lord has truly lowered him through the roof just as it is told in Mark. You continue to gather around him and around our family and lift us up in your prayers and love us through this time. How blessed we are to have friends and family like all of you! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
All 3 boys are down & out. Nate got sick tonight and Jax is the only one who has eaten anything. Our poor boys. It is awful to feel yucky!
Little League Opening Day is Saturday and our snack bar is almost ready. So many people put in grueling hours to make sure everything is as perfect as it can be for our community. It is amazing what a small army of people can do who share the same goal. We are excited for Opening Day and even more excited that Gary will be there - wheelchair and all!
I have to get back to computer work so I must go.
Besides, I missed an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker and I need to catch up.
Pray that Gary comes home with no complications.
Pray that he is relaxed and ready for us to care for him.
Pray that the drugs stop making him jittery and tense and that his speech improves (he is stuttering a little from the methadone). Heavy duty pain meds are really awful drugs.
Pray that the boys feels better NOW!
Zach has a fever, vomiting, strep and scarlett fever and a double ear infection.
Nate has a high fever and nothing else - yet!
Jax has a high fever and is just not eating very much.
What is next I ask myself??? I pray that they don't vomit in the middle of the night! I do not do throw up!
Good Night and Sweet Dreams and Praise God Gary is coming home!
Lisa
Gary is finally coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He should be home by 3 PM Thursday afternoon. We are overjoyed and super excited! Jax talked about it all afternoon. He claps and jumps up and down and yells Daddy's coming home! Daddy's coming home!!
I went to the hospital today and gave Gary his final hospital shower and removed the hundreds of cards and posters that adorned Room 828. Todd and I got everything packed up and only a few vases and a basket and his going home clothes remain in his room.
It is hard to believe that he really is coming home! The doctors are pleased with his progress with pain management and we hope that the decreasing pain is a combination of the right drugs, the nerve block and the cancer dying out!
My friend Sam came to see me today and she brought her Bible and we discussed the story in Mark about the paralytic who was lowered down from the rafters by his friends just to see Jesus.
In many ways Gary is the paralytic man and everyone who has prayed for him and placed him at the threshhold of the Lord has truly lowered him through the roof just as it is told in Mark. You continue to gather around him and around our family and lift us up in your prayers and love us through this time. How blessed we are to have friends and family like all of you! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
All 3 boys are down & out. Nate got sick tonight and Jax is the only one who has eaten anything. Our poor boys. It is awful to feel yucky!
Little League Opening Day is Saturday and our snack bar is almost ready. So many people put in grueling hours to make sure everything is as perfect as it can be for our community. It is amazing what a small army of people can do who share the same goal. We are excited for Opening Day and even more excited that Gary will be there - wheelchair and all!
I have to get back to computer work so I must go.
Besides, I missed an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker and I need to catch up.
Pray that Gary comes home with no complications.
Pray that he is relaxed and ready for us to care for him.
Pray that the drugs stop making him jittery and tense and that his speech improves (he is stuttering a little from the methadone). Heavy duty pain meds are really awful drugs.
Pray that the boys feels better NOW!
Zach has a fever, vomiting, strep and scarlett fever and a double ear infection.
Nate has a high fever and nothing else - yet!
Jax has a high fever and is just not eating very much.
What is next I ask myself??? I pray that they don't vomit in the middle of the night! I do not do throw up!
Good Night and Sweet Dreams and Praise God Gary is coming home!
Lisa
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
TUESDAY February 26
Good Evening.
Quick update:
Gary is doing very well. There is talk of him coming home in the next week. :)
His pain seems to be under control with oral medications and the nerve block.
He will have chemo tomorrow.
Gary's parents will be here this week some time.
My Mom leaves Friday. :(
Zach has an ear infection and will go to the doctor tomorrow.
Zach also spent the entire day throwing up and had a high fever.
Jax went to bed with 102 fever tonight.
Nate is good - so far!
I spent 1 1/2 hours at Social Security office today - YIPPEE!
I did not get to see Gary today :( :( :(
I worked on getting all of the curriculum ready for the weekend at church.
The snack bar is moving along for little league.
Hobie had a bath today.
I am going to bed!
Love, Lisa
Quick update:
Gary is doing very well. There is talk of him coming home in the next week. :)
His pain seems to be under control with oral medications and the nerve block.
He will have chemo tomorrow.
Gary's parents will be here this week some time.
My Mom leaves Friday. :(
Zach has an ear infection and will go to the doctor tomorrow.
Zach also spent the entire day throwing up and had a high fever.
Jax went to bed with 102 fever tonight.
Nate is good - so far!
I spent 1 1/2 hours at Social Security office today - YIPPEE!
I did not get to see Gary today :( :( :(
I worked on getting all of the curriculum ready for the weekend at church.
The snack bar is moving along for little league.
Hobie had a bath today.
I am going to bed!
Love, Lisa
Monday, February 25, 2008
Monday Madness
Madness is a little heavy but nonetheless my Monday was C R A Z Y!!!
Gary seems to be doing well and will have chemo tomorrow. His counts are up and his hemoglobin is holding around 10.0 (normal is 12.0 to 16.0).
Gary is oficially off of the Dilaudid drip (2nd attempt) and the doc is giving him Dilaudid pills for the breakthrough. He has upped his Methadone so we will see how well he does. I am not able to spend the night with him tonight because I needed to be home with Zachary so I won't know how he does overnight. He looked great tonight and his pain level was a 5 which is better than it has been in 4 months!
Oh Zachary...................what a long day with Zachary. I got a call at the hospital this morning at 6:45 AM (I can't even sleep in at the hospital)! He was crying and complaining of a terrible headache. He stayed home from school and I got home around Noon. He had 2 rounds of Tylenol and was asking for more. So, I started thinking about Zach's TARGET practice on Thursday. Zach seems to be a TARGET on the baseball field and as he was fielding a ground ball during practice the ball took a hop and hit him square between the eyes. For those of you who do not know Zach's history - basically he has a BULLSEYE on his forehead.
When his headache persisted I came to the conclusion that he needed to be checked out so that we could make sure that no damage had been done this time or during previous bouts with concussions.
We went to Hoag so that when we were done we could see Gary and bring his some dinner. After Zach has a CT Scan we came back to his room and his headache got worse and his ears were bright red. Low and behold he had 101 fever. Zach has the full blown flu - body aches, chills, fever and a stomach ache.
Back to his head. His head is fine from the beatings of baseball but they discovered a small cyst in his brain. The cyst is nothing to worry about and the neurosurgeon came to look at the film and told us that it is completely unthreatening and in fact it is very common in boys and men. I guess most people don't know they have them because they never have a reason to have a CT on their brain. Praise God because when the doctor came in and said, "Everything looks great as far as head injuries but we did find......................" My heart sank just a little until I heard cyst then I relaxed. I think God knows there is lots on my plate right now. Thank you God!
We went to see Gary and we looked like a couple of masked bandits! I wore the mask just like Zach did so that he didn't feel totally lame! We had a short visit with Gary and had to leave because Zach felt so awful. He is in bed next to me and he still feels terrible. Needless to say he will not be going to school tomorrow.
Nate and Jax had a great evening with Gay and my Mom. Thank God they are so incredibly easy going.
Thank you to everyone who is giving blood. We need either O+ or O- blood and you can call 764-5621 to donate at Hoag in Gary's name.
The doctors would like to see Gary come home by Sunday so we will shoot for that day! If it does not happen then so be it. Each day is its own and we never know from day to day what will be so I guess PRAY FOR GARY TO COME HOME BY SUNDAY!
Pray that this round of chemo doesn't make him super sick. We know his counts will drop and expect that but it would be nice if we could keep him from having too many other side effects.
Pray for ALL the people who love us and surround us and support us and care for us! This is a pretty BIG group of people so you can include everyone in 1 prayer :) !
We love you all and thank you for remaining so close to us through this trial!
Love, Lisa
Gary seems to be doing well and will have chemo tomorrow. His counts are up and his hemoglobin is holding around 10.0 (normal is 12.0 to 16.0).
Gary is oficially off of the Dilaudid drip (2nd attempt) and the doc is giving him Dilaudid pills for the breakthrough. He has upped his Methadone so we will see how well he does. I am not able to spend the night with him tonight because I needed to be home with Zachary so I won't know how he does overnight. He looked great tonight and his pain level was a 5 which is better than it has been in 4 months!
Oh Zachary...................what a long day with Zachary. I got a call at the hospital this morning at 6:45 AM (I can't even sleep in at the hospital)! He was crying and complaining of a terrible headache. He stayed home from school and I got home around Noon. He had 2 rounds of Tylenol and was asking for more. So, I started thinking about Zach's TARGET practice on Thursday. Zach seems to be a TARGET on the baseball field and as he was fielding a ground ball during practice the ball took a hop and hit him square between the eyes. For those of you who do not know Zach's history - basically he has a BULLSEYE on his forehead.
When his headache persisted I came to the conclusion that he needed to be checked out so that we could make sure that no damage had been done this time or during previous bouts with concussions.
We went to Hoag so that when we were done we could see Gary and bring his some dinner. After Zach has a CT Scan we came back to his room and his headache got worse and his ears were bright red. Low and behold he had 101 fever. Zach has the full blown flu - body aches, chills, fever and a stomach ache.
Back to his head. His head is fine from the beatings of baseball but they discovered a small cyst in his brain. The cyst is nothing to worry about and the neurosurgeon came to look at the film and told us that it is completely unthreatening and in fact it is very common in boys and men. I guess most people don't know they have them because they never have a reason to have a CT on their brain. Praise God because when the doctor came in and said, "Everything looks great as far as head injuries but we did find......................" My heart sank just a little until I heard cyst then I relaxed. I think God knows there is lots on my plate right now. Thank you God!
We went to see Gary and we looked like a couple of masked bandits! I wore the mask just like Zach did so that he didn't feel totally lame! We had a short visit with Gary and had to leave because Zach felt so awful. He is in bed next to me and he still feels terrible. Needless to say he will not be going to school tomorrow.
Nate and Jax had a great evening with Gay and my Mom. Thank God they are so incredibly easy going.
Thank you to everyone who is giving blood. We need either O+ or O- blood and you can call 764-5621 to donate at Hoag in Gary's name.
The doctors would like to see Gary come home by Sunday so we will shoot for that day! If it does not happen then so be it. Each day is its own and we never know from day to day what will be so I guess PRAY FOR GARY TO COME HOME BY SUNDAY!
Pray that this round of chemo doesn't make him super sick. We know his counts will drop and expect that but it would be nice if we could keep him from having too many other side effects.
Pray for ALL the people who love us and surround us and support us and care for us! This is a pretty BIG group of people so you can include everyone in 1 prayer :) !
We love you all and thank you for remaining so close to us through this trial!
Love, Lisa
Friday, February 22, 2008
FRIDAY Night
It is 2:25 AM and I am in Gary’s hospital room. I came up to spend the night with him because I missed him and also because I am leaving for camp tomorrow afternoon.
The XRAY technician is here and has just finished up with Gary. I was dozing off around an hour ago. We were up because Gary has a fever (around 102) and Dr. Barth ordered blood cultures to see if Gary has an infection in his blood.
The XRAY guy was here because as I was dozing off I woke up to see Gary going into the bathroom, lose his balance, scream and go crashing to the ground.
I ran to the nurses station and had a stampede of nurses and aides running behind me back to the room. Gary was alert but in pain. Thank God his left shoulder hit the toilet because that broke his fall. Hopefully nothing is broken but if it is it would be much better for it to be his shoulder (the same one he broke during the church softball game) then his hip or leg!
I am just so thankful that I was spending the night tonight. Now Gary can’t get out of bed by himself because they set his bed alarm! Ha! That will teach him!
Dr. Barth came in tonight while I was here. He is such a wonderful doctor. Here is how I can explain him to all of you so that you can get a fairly decent picture of the man who is caring for our Gary.
Dr. Barth is Chief of Staff here at Hoag. I can’t even fathom his work schedule. Everyone wants a piece of him all the time. He has come in to see Gary well after midnight on occasion.
He is very articulate in his speech. He is so intelligent and as hard as he tries to explain things so that we can understand it is still hard to understand him. Not having gone through medical school and not having 30 years of experience puts us at a disadvantage immediately. He does not intentionally try to make things difficult to understand. It is merely who he is and we both have a great respect for him. After all, we are entrusting Gary’s life to him.
He is an incredibly compassionate man. Not in what he says but how he acts. When he is in the room you can tell that he deeply cares about Gary. He is focused on Gary and he wants to listen to Gary. He wants to know how Gary is and he wants to make a difference for Gary. When leaving the room he not only shakes Gary’s hand but holds on a little longer and gives him a squeeze. It makes me feel so good knowing he is very involved with Gary’s care.
Gary had a nerve block today. The purpose of the block is to hopefully help alleviate some of the pain in Gary’s sciatica. So far, there has been little improvement but we need to give it some time to work.
Gary had another transfusion tonight. He has 7 units of blood left in the bank. Next week we will need more people to donate who are 0 + or 0 -. I will make a separate blog entry with all the information.
The pain doctor changed Gary’s pain meds to methadone today. He is still jerking a little and hallucinating and reaching and dreaming but maybe this new drug will react differently in his system. Only time will tell.
Gary has had some new visitors. His friend from Hemet came in today and surprised him as well as his sister from Missouri and his brother who lives in Washington. His brother and sister will be here for a few days.
It has been a long night and I am sure the next 2 nights will be just as long at camp. I will have 10 girls in my cabin who are 10-12 years old. They are all great girls and I am looking forward to being with them this weekend!
We love you all and thank you for everything. I feel like I never say thank you but I think about thanking all of you ALL OF THE TIME! I wish you all really knew how thankful we are for the love and support you give us. There really are no words. I mean that. No words could ever make you know how we feel.
Gary’s room is full of love. All the nurses and doctors say that when they come into his room it feels like home. What a compliment! Your cards and well wishes and pictures and photos mean so much to Gary. All the cards from neighbors and friends and family members of people we don’t even know first hand! We get mail from all over the USA and we love reading notes and scripture and the encouraging words!
God certainly made a special man when he created Gary. Gary embodies love and peace and kindness and patience and sweetness and faithfulness and so many other characteristics. He is my hero! I thank God for my husband who is this amazing father to his 3 little boys!
Prayer for our family right now would be awesome. Gary’s spirits are a bit low today. He is not depressed but I woke up this morning to him being extremely groggy and out of it. We is definitely overmedicated with the methadone. Dr. Gluzman is decreasing it so that we can see how Gary does.
His shoulder is not broken but his chest XRAY is showing some congestion. The nurses need to work really hard to make sure Gary does not develop pneumonia!
I am off to camp! Pray for our safe travels as we go to Forest Home. Pray for kids lives to be changed this weekend and for new friendships to develop!
Be safe!
Love, L
The XRAY technician is here and has just finished up with Gary. I was dozing off around an hour ago. We were up because Gary has a fever (around 102) and Dr. Barth ordered blood cultures to see if Gary has an infection in his blood.
The XRAY guy was here because as I was dozing off I woke up to see Gary going into the bathroom, lose his balance, scream and go crashing to the ground.
I ran to the nurses station and had a stampede of nurses and aides running behind me back to the room. Gary was alert but in pain. Thank God his left shoulder hit the toilet because that broke his fall. Hopefully nothing is broken but if it is it would be much better for it to be his shoulder (the same one he broke during the church softball game) then his hip or leg!
I am just so thankful that I was spending the night tonight. Now Gary can’t get out of bed by himself because they set his bed alarm! Ha! That will teach him!
Dr. Barth came in tonight while I was here. He is such a wonderful doctor. Here is how I can explain him to all of you so that you can get a fairly decent picture of the man who is caring for our Gary.
Dr. Barth is Chief of Staff here at Hoag. I can’t even fathom his work schedule. Everyone wants a piece of him all the time. He has come in to see Gary well after midnight on occasion.
He is very articulate in his speech. He is so intelligent and as hard as he tries to explain things so that we can understand it is still hard to understand him. Not having gone through medical school and not having 30 years of experience puts us at a disadvantage immediately. He does not intentionally try to make things difficult to understand. It is merely who he is and we both have a great respect for him. After all, we are entrusting Gary’s life to him.
He is an incredibly compassionate man. Not in what he says but how he acts. When he is in the room you can tell that he deeply cares about Gary. He is focused on Gary and he wants to listen to Gary. He wants to know how Gary is and he wants to make a difference for Gary. When leaving the room he not only shakes Gary’s hand but holds on a little longer and gives him a squeeze. It makes me feel so good knowing he is very involved with Gary’s care.
Gary had a nerve block today. The purpose of the block is to hopefully help alleviate some of the pain in Gary’s sciatica. So far, there has been little improvement but we need to give it some time to work.
Gary had another transfusion tonight. He has 7 units of blood left in the bank. Next week we will need more people to donate who are 0 + or 0 -. I will make a separate blog entry with all the information.
The pain doctor changed Gary’s pain meds to methadone today. He is still jerking a little and hallucinating and reaching and dreaming but maybe this new drug will react differently in his system. Only time will tell.
Gary has had some new visitors. His friend from Hemet came in today and surprised him as well as his sister from Missouri and his brother who lives in Washington. His brother and sister will be here for a few days.
It has been a long night and I am sure the next 2 nights will be just as long at camp. I will have 10 girls in my cabin who are 10-12 years old. They are all great girls and I am looking forward to being with them this weekend!
We love you all and thank you for everything. I feel like I never say thank you but I think about thanking all of you ALL OF THE TIME! I wish you all really knew how thankful we are for the love and support you give us. There really are no words. I mean that. No words could ever make you know how we feel.
Gary’s room is full of love. All the nurses and doctors say that when they come into his room it feels like home. What a compliment! Your cards and well wishes and pictures and photos mean so much to Gary. All the cards from neighbors and friends and family members of people we don’t even know first hand! We get mail from all over the USA and we love reading notes and scripture and the encouraging words!
God certainly made a special man when he created Gary. Gary embodies love and peace and kindness and patience and sweetness and faithfulness and so many other characteristics. He is my hero! I thank God for my husband who is this amazing father to his 3 little boys!
Prayer for our family right now would be awesome. Gary’s spirits are a bit low today. He is not depressed but I woke up this morning to him being extremely groggy and out of it. We is definitely overmedicated with the methadone. Dr. Gluzman is decreasing it so that we can see how Gary does.
His shoulder is not broken but his chest XRAY is showing some congestion. The nurses need to work really hard to make sure Gary does not develop pneumonia!
I am off to camp! Pray for our safe travels as we go to Forest Home. Pray for kids lives to be changed this weekend and for new friendships to develop!
Be safe!
Love, L
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thursday
So, Jax and I got to spend the evening with Gary at the hospital tonight. Our little league was having a seminar on Positive Parent involvement in our league but I had already attended the workshop and I had not seen Gary at all. Besides, Jax has not had any 1 or 1 time with Gary and it was really a great night! Jax and I both got in bed with Gary and we all snuggled. Gary ate Pick Up Stix and Jax had Macaroni Grill. I had a yummy Jamba juice. It was a smorgasbord (is that how you spell that?) of culinary delights!
Gary was hanging in there tonight. We are having a problem with one of his medications. Anything having to do with morphine gives Gary some side effects that are yucky. The morphine gives him hallucinations and makes his body jerk and he is confused and has short term memory loss. Despite all of those things, we both think his pain control is getting better and our pain management guy can always change that morphine to another opiate like methadone.
Gary is on a drug called Lyrica and it is used to block nerves. As they up the dose he seems to be in less pain. Pray that these new drugs can give him relief and get him home!
Gary's white cells are down a little. His platelets are still really down but like I mentioned before this is all par for the course with cancer treatment. He is due to have chemo this weekend and Zach and I are going to Winter Camp at Forest Home on Friday and we will not be home until Sunday. We will miss Gary but I think I will need to drive my car to camp just in case I will need to leave.
You know, I have a thought. I realize that sometimes it is dangerous when I think but here goes.
We get discouraged with Gary's pain meds and we want so badly for him to be coherent and "mentally active". We are working so hard to achieve that BUT maybe that is not what Gary needs right now. Gary sits in a hospital room day after day faced with a diagnosis that is far from promising. He knows his odds and he knows how bad the cancer is and he is in pain all of the time. He has rashes from radiation. His taste buds are jacked. He has fevers and fatigue. He is taking 15 differnt medications. He has a hard time readjusting himself in bed. It is painful to walk and the food at Hoag is so-so at best! I am serious when I tell you that he never complains.
I don't know about you but when I don't feel good I am usually not in a very happy mood. I had pneumonia when I was PG with Jax and I WAS MISERABLE! SO INCREDIBLY MISERABLE! It was a very difficult time for me. Then, I get a reality check when I think about Gary. The loudness of my complaints fades away as I think about how trivial my pneumonia was compared to Gary's cancer.
Maybe it is good for Gary's mental state to be a little doped up and confused and out of it. Maybe these drugs numb his brain and keep him from dwelling on his condition. Maybe the drugs allow him to have the positive attitude and outlook he has now. Maybe a high husband is a happy husband! Maybe the fact that we have had such a hard time managing his pain is all part of God's plan for us. Maybe he is protecting Gary's mind for now.
Despite everything Garyendures and everything our family is going through I really do love our life. Our days are hard and sometimes grueling and awful and frustrating and scary but at the end of each day we have love. We love our LORD who is faithful and ever present. We love eachother so much. We have the love our family and friends. We love our church and homegroup. We love our school and our Little League and our community. We love giving back and volunteering our time. I love helping with the snackbar. We love working with kids in Kids Ministry and sharing our love of the Lord with so many kids each week!
Another thought but this one is a deep thought. I know I'm blonde but get ready! This is Jack Handy deep!
I REALLY EMBRACE THIS and believe it with all my heart.
You can't worry about tomorrow. Did you know that most of the things we worry about that could potentially affect us in the future never happen and then we wasted all that time and energy being negative and worrying over the "potential" nothing? God does not want us to worry about things we have no control over.
You can't stress over yesterday because is has "past". We can only move forward from each yesterday.
The only alternative to being healthy in body and mind and spirit is to live in the here and now. We must take one day at a time and cherish everything in that day. Each day is a gift and that is probably why it is called the "present".
Back to loving our life. Gary is a HUGE part of who I am but his existence is not the only thing that defines who I am. He is my everything and my best friend and confidant and the love of my life. I love him with every fiber of my being. He is truly a gift from God just as our kids are. I don't know exactly what I am trying to convey to you other than to say that you can't rely on a person to define your existence. No one person can truly give you all of your happiness and joy and they shouldn't have to. You have to find your own happiness and you own purpose for living and loving!
Tonight I saw Gary look at Jax a little differently than he has recently. He wasn't looking at him and thinking how cute he is or how fun he is or how glad he is to see him. He was looking at him in a deeper and more profound way tonight. When I asked him how he was doing he told me that he was feeling reflective tonight. I can't even begin to imagine wat goes through Gary's mind. I do know that even if he truly is in a good place he needs serious prayer to stay in that good place.
Pray that his conacer goes away and never returns!
Pray for Gary to stay positive.
Pray for everyone who continues to touch our lives.
Pray for me to be able to get through every day that is frustrating and harsh with grace and patience and peace.
Pray that God opens doors where they would normally be shut.
Pray that I am always doing the things that will bring glory to God.
I know. I know. Long blog. Whatever. I did not intend it to be so long winded. I could keep going with the comedy of errors I lived through today. Dead battery, jumped battery, dead battery, Walmart (always joyful! :( ), 1 hour of waiting for battery, AIS, spilled diet coke all over, smog test failed due to battery replacement that no one tlold me I couldn't do before a smog test and I could go on and on. But , won't because it is 1:06 AM on Thursday AM.
Sorry if I was scattered. I am tired you know! :)
Good night everyone!
Love, L
Gary was hanging in there tonight. We are having a problem with one of his medications. Anything having to do with morphine gives Gary some side effects that are yucky. The morphine gives him hallucinations and makes his body jerk and he is confused and has short term memory loss. Despite all of those things, we both think his pain control is getting better and our pain management guy can always change that morphine to another opiate like methadone.
Gary is on a drug called Lyrica and it is used to block nerves. As they up the dose he seems to be in less pain. Pray that these new drugs can give him relief and get him home!
Gary's white cells are down a little. His platelets are still really down but like I mentioned before this is all par for the course with cancer treatment. He is due to have chemo this weekend and Zach and I are going to Winter Camp at Forest Home on Friday and we will not be home until Sunday. We will miss Gary but I think I will need to drive my car to camp just in case I will need to leave.
You know, I have a thought. I realize that sometimes it is dangerous when I think but here goes.
We get discouraged with Gary's pain meds and we want so badly for him to be coherent and "mentally active". We are working so hard to achieve that BUT maybe that is not what Gary needs right now. Gary sits in a hospital room day after day faced with a diagnosis that is far from promising. He knows his odds and he knows how bad the cancer is and he is in pain all of the time. He has rashes from radiation. His taste buds are jacked. He has fevers and fatigue. He is taking 15 differnt medications. He has a hard time readjusting himself in bed. It is painful to walk and the food at Hoag is so-so at best! I am serious when I tell you that he never complains.
I don't know about you but when I don't feel good I am usually not in a very happy mood. I had pneumonia when I was PG with Jax and I WAS MISERABLE! SO INCREDIBLY MISERABLE! It was a very difficult time for me. Then, I get a reality check when I think about Gary. The loudness of my complaints fades away as I think about how trivial my pneumonia was compared to Gary's cancer.
Maybe it is good for Gary's mental state to be a little doped up and confused and out of it. Maybe these drugs numb his brain and keep him from dwelling on his condition. Maybe the drugs allow him to have the positive attitude and outlook he has now. Maybe a high husband is a happy husband! Maybe the fact that we have had such a hard time managing his pain is all part of God's plan for us. Maybe he is protecting Gary's mind for now.
Despite everything Garyendures and everything our family is going through I really do love our life. Our days are hard and sometimes grueling and awful and frustrating and scary but at the end of each day we have love. We love our LORD who is faithful and ever present. We love eachother so much. We have the love our family and friends. We love our church and homegroup. We love our school and our Little League and our community. We love giving back and volunteering our time. I love helping with the snackbar. We love working with kids in Kids Ministry and sharing our love of the Lord with so many kids each week!
Another thought but this one is a deep thought. I know I'm blonde but get ready! This is Jack Handy deep!
I REALLY EMBRACE THIS and believe it with all my heart.
You can't worry about tomorrow. Did you know that most of the things we worry about that could potentially affect us in the future never happen and then we wasted all that time and energy being negative and worrying over the "potential" nothing? God does not want us to worry about things we have no control over.
You can't stress over yesterday because is has "past". We can only move forward from each yesterday.
The only alternative to being healthy in body and mind and spirit is to live in the here and now. We must take one day at a time and cherish everything in that day. Each day is a gift and that is probably why it is called the "present".
Back to loving our life. Gary is a HUGE part of who I am but his existence is not the only thing that defines who I am. He is my everything and my best friend and confidant and the love of my life. I love him with every fiber of my being. He is truly a gift from God just as our kids are. I don't know exactly what I am trying to convey to you other than to say that you can't rely on a person to define your existence. No one person can truly give you all of your happiness and joy and they shouldn't have to. You have to find your own happiness and you own purpose for living and loving!
Tonight I saw Gary look at Jax a little differently than he has recently. He wasn't looking at him and thinking how cute he is or how fun he is or how glad he is to see him. He was looking at him in a deeper and more profound way tonight. When I asked him how he was doing he told me that he was feeling reflective tonight. I can't even begin to imagine wat goes through Gary's mind. I do know that even if he truly is in a good place he needs serious prayer to stay in that good place.
Pray that his conacer goes away and never returns!
Pray for Gary to stay positive.
Pray for everyone who continues to touch our lives.
Pray for me to be able to get through every day that is frustrating and harsh with grace and patience and peace.
Pray that God opens doors where they would normally be shut.
Pray that I am always doing the things that will bring glory to God.
I know. I know. Long blog. Whatever. I did not intend it to be so long winded. I could keep going with the comedy of errors I lived through today. Dead battery, jumped battery, dead battery, Walmart (always joyful! :( ), 1 hour of waiting for battery, AIS, spilled diet coke all over, smog test failed due to battery replacement that no one tlold me I couldn't do before a smog test and I could go on and on. But , won't because it is 1:06 AM on Thursday AM.
Sorry if I was scattered. I am tired you know! :)
Good night everyone!
Love, L
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
UPDATE
Good evening.
I will try to make this quick. I am too tired for anything witty or clever tonight.
Today was a long day at the Social Security office, dealing with State disability claims, smog checks, DMV, Advanced Directives and so much other stuff it would make your head spin. Why did the good Lord only make 24 hours in a day?? I need MORE!
Gary was accompanied by a physical therapist and he walked 200 feet today with a walker. That is the most he has walked in a month! I pray this is progress for him.
His red cells are up! His platelets are up for now. His white cells are somewhat normal.
His pain meds are not working the way we need them to work. The morphine makes him "stupid" (those are Gary's words not mine). His body jerks and he hallucinates and does funky things with his arms. Zach and I sometimes laugh at him :)
He ate a double cheeseburger from Micky D's and drank a 32 oz.Orange Dream Jamba Juice. We can get him to drink 1X Jamba Juice a day so Malcolm and I have been picking them up every day for Gary and loading them with protein.
He will have a shower tomorrow again. It is really hard for him and takes so much energy for him to get cleaned up.
He continues with radiation every day and he is due for chemo this weekend.
He never complains and we have LOVED spending the night with him.
God is soooooooo good. Despite everything we are facing I know we both have a peace which transcends human understanding. We (at least I do) go through times of saddness, overwhelming everything feelings, frustration and so many other negative human emotions. I allow myself to feel them then I get back to the way God wants me to be. He wants me to trust him completely and put all of my faith in action as I take the backseat and he chauffers me around! It is hard for me sometimes. I am soooooooo Type A and have control issues (alright, enough of your sneers and "Amen to thats"!)
Enough of me tonight. I am off to fill out more forms for all sorts of exciting medical/financial things. You are probably jealous and you wish you had as many stupid questions to answer as I do! Could some of them be any more repetitive and dumbo? I am thinking probably not.
PLEASE PRAY:
For Gary's treatments to kill the cancer
That Gary heals from this battle.
For our family and the unity of our family.
For Strength
For all of the people who help us and pray for us and care and love us!
PRAISE that God is always there
For a good night's sleep for Gary and for me!
Love, L
I will try to make this quick. I am too tired for anything witty or clever tonight.
Today was a long day at the Social Security office, dealing with State disability claims, smog checks, DMV, Advanced Directives and so much other stuff it would make your head spin. Why did the good Lord only make 24 hours in a day?? I need MORE!
Gary was accompanied by a physical therapist and he walked 200 feet today with a walker. That is the most he has walked in a month! I pray this is progress for him.
His red cells are up! His platelets are up for now. His white cells are somewhat normal.
His pain meds are not working the way we need them to work. The morphine makes him "stupid" (those are Gary's words not mine). His body jerks and he hallucinates and does funky things with his arms. Zach and I sometimes laugh at him :)
He ate a double cheeseburger from Micky D's and drank a 32 oz.Orange Dream Jamba Juice. We can get him to drink 1X Jamba Juice a day so Malcolm and I have been picking them up every day for Gary and loading them with protein.
He will have a shower tomorrow again. It is really hard for him and takes so much energy for him to get cleaned up.
He continues with radiation every day and he is due for chemo this weekend.
He never complains and we have LOVED spending the night with him.
God is soooooooo good. Despite everything we are facing I know we both have a peace which transcends human understanding. We (at least I do) go through times of saddness, overwhelming everything feelings, frustration and so many other negative human emotions. I allow myself to feel them then I get back to the way God wants me to be. He wants me to trust him completely and put all of my faith in action as I take the backseat and he chauffers me around! It is hard for me sometimes. I am soooooooo Type A and have control issues (alright, enough of your sneers and "Amen to thats"!)
Enough of me tonight. I am off to fill out more forms for all sorts of exciting medical/financial things. You are probably jealous and you wish you had as many stupid questions to answer as I do! Could some of them be any more repetitive and dumbo? I am thinking probably not.
PLEASE PRAY:
For Gary's treatments to kill the cancer
That Gary heals from this battle.
For our family and the unity of our family.
For Strength
For all of the people who help us and pray for us and care and love us!
PRAISE that God is always there
For a good night's sleep for Gary and for me!
Love, L
Monday, February 18, 2008
Gary Update
I promise this will be quick.
Highlights:
Zach and I have spent the last 3 nights with Gary. He has a double bed in his room that is fairly comfortable.
Gary's platelets are very low and he will have a transfusion today. I will be banking platelets for him starting with a transfusion tomorrow. That should tide him over until I can donate again.
His thyroid is very low and he is now on meds for that.
His pain management doc did a CT scan to check to see what nerves are being affected by the tumors. This will help him to find a way to possibly block the nerves - if possible.
Gary is in good spirits but is tired. He is not eating much but is drinking his Jamba juices. So, I load them up with protein and immunity builders and he sucks one of those down a day. :)
His swelling seems to be down.
He woke up this morinng and his mouth was filled with blood. Due to the low platelet count and the sores in his mouth from chemo he had a little bleeding but it seems to be under control now.
I am taking all 3 boys to see him today at 4 PM. They are looking forward to that.
I am home to do some work and get some things in order for a while!
Have a great day and I will update again!
PRAY - that the chemo and radiation are killing the cancer!
PRAY - that the pain doc can help to manage his pain better.
Love, L
Highlights:
Zach and I have spent the last 3 nights with Gary. He has a double bed in his room that is fairly comfortable.
Gary's platelets are very low and he will have a transfusion today. I will be banking platelets for him starting with a transfusion tomorrow. That should tide him over until I can donate again.
His thyroid is very low and he is now on meds for that.
His pain management doc did a CT scan to check to see what nerves are being affected by the tumors. This will help him to find a way to possibly block the nerves - if possible.
Gary is in good spirits but is tired. He is not eating much but is drinking his Jamba juices. So, I load them up with protein and immunity builders and he sucks one of those down a day. :)
His swelling seems to be down.
He woke up this morinng and his mouth was filled with blood. Due to the low platelet count and the sores in his mouth from chemo he had a little bleeding but it seems to be under control now.
I am taking all 3 boys to see him today at 4 PM. They are looking forward to that.
I am home to do some work and get some things in order for a while!
Have a great day and I will update again!
PRAY - that the chemo and radiation are killing the cancer!
PRAY - that the pain doc can help to manage his pain better.
Love, L
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentine's Day
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!
We had a GREAT Valentine's Day! My Mom and I decorated the kitchen for the boys. This morning they had heart-shaped waffles and bacon and See's Candy! Gary and I bought them candies and little stuffed animals and a baseball pillow for each of them! I think they loved it even more when they got to see Gary and get the cards Gary had for them!
I had a REALLY AWESOME day today! I got to see Gary and came home to a SPARKLING CLEAN house (Petra & Martin cleaned it top to bottom)! They are awesome! If you need someone who does a great job I will give you her info.
The women at South Shores Christian Preschool gave our family a HUGE basket full of goodies and we had so much fun going through everything! THANK YOU so very much for your kindness! The basket was overwhelmingly beautiful!
The Briwick's brought us soome EXTREMELY SINFUL chocolate Kettle Corn and some homemaade yummy heart cookies! The Star Mags are always a bonus and we love the homemade cards J&J! Hugs!!
Pam brought over cards and a big sack full of Valentine's from all the kids! We love our church family! XOXOXOXO
I could keep going on and on but once again will thank EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU who make a difference in our lives daily! We would not want to weather this storm alone! :)
Evidentially, Gary had a good morning. Many people saw him and he was feeling better and was up and about a little and seemed like he was in less of a fog. Unfortunately, this changed quickly.
I was telling my Mom that Gary told me that his pain was much better and before I started to rejoice (believe me when I tell you that I WANT to rejoice) I knew I had better hold back the celebration until we had some consistency.
Cancer changes things on a daily and hourly basis and that is what makes it so difficult to go through.
Gary is currently in great pain. He is waiting for extra medication because he has been in lots of pain since Kristin and I were there with the kids at 3:00 PM.
He had a transfusion this morning and they will check his counts again in the morning. His white cell and platelet counts have fallen (all of this is to be expected) and he is at risk for infection now. Please call before you visit so that he can tell you whether or not the doctors think it to be a good idea or not.
Kristin and I had so much fun today having coffee and going to Walmart for the essentials - woohoo! Everytime I go in that store I wish that it was not so inexpensive and then I wouldn't have to go there! It does serve its purpose.
The boys are out of school for 4 days! Yeah. No more lunches, laundry, homework or waking early!
The snack bar at the fields is coming along and we are getting excited about opening day for little league!
I will post tomorrow to let you know how Gary is doing!
Keep the cards coming! His room looks great!
Keep your prayers coming as well. We are asking for a miracle. We are asking God to restore Gary and to heal his body from this disease.
Pray that the Chemo and Radiation are aggressively working in his body.
Pray for his pain to diminish so that we can bring him home!
We love you all and hope you have a great evening!
Peace and Happiness,
L
We had a GREAT Valentine's Day! My Mom and I decorated the kitchen for the boys. This morning they had heart-shaped waffles and bacon and See's Candy! Gary and I bought them candies and little stuffed animals and a baseball pillow for each of them! I think they loved it even more when they got to see Gary and get the cards Gary had for them!
I had a REALLY AWESOME day today! I got to see Gary and came home to a SPARKLING CLEAN house (Petra & Martin cleaned it top to bottom)! They are awesome! If you need someone who does a great job I will give you her info.
The women at South Shores Christian Preschool gave our family a HUGE basket full of goodies and we had so much fun going through everything! THANK YOU so very much for your kindness! The basket was overwhelmingly beautiful!
The Briwick's brought us soome EXTREMELY SINFUL chocolate Kettle Corn and some homemaade yummy heart cookies! The Star Mags are always a bonus and we love the homemade cards J&J! Hugs!!
Pam brought over cards and a big sack full of Valentine's from all the kids! We love our church family! XOXOXOXO
I could keep going on and on but once again will thank EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU who make a difference in our lives daily! We would not want to weather this storm alone! :)
Evidentially, Gary had a good morning. Many people saw him and he was feeling better and was up and about a little and seemed like he was in less of a fog. Unfortunately, this changed quickly.
I was telling my Mom that Gary told me that his pain was much better and before I started to rejoice (believe me when I tell you that I WANT to rejoice) I knew I had better hold back the celebration until we had some consistency.
Cancer changes things on a daily and hourly basis and that is what makes it so difficult to go through.
Gary is currently in great pain. He is waiting for extra medication because he has been in lots of pain since Kristin and I were there with the kids at 3:00 PM.
He had a transfusion this morning and they will check his counts again in the morning. His white cell and platelet counts have fallen (all of this is to be expected) and he is at risk for infection now. Please call before you visit so that he can tell you whether or not the doctors think it to be a good idea or not.
Kristin and I had so much fun today having coffee and going to Walmart for the essentials - woohoo! Everytime I go in that store I wish that it was not so inexpensive and then I wouldn't have to go there! It does serve its purpose.
The boys are out of school for 4 days! Yeah. No more lunches, laundry, homework or waking early!
The snack bar at the fields is coming along and we are getting excited about opening day for little league!
I will post tomorrow to let you know how Gary is doing!
Keep the cards coming! His room looks great!
Keep your prayers coming as well. We are asking for a miracle. We are asking God to restore Gary and to heal his body from this disease.
Pray that the Chemo and Radiation are aggressively working in his body.
Pray for his pain to diminish so that we can bring him home!
We love you all and hope you have a great evening!
Peace and Happiness,
L
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Gary
Good Evening! It is Tuesday evening and I was finally able to get to the hospital to see Gary today. Yesterday was a long day and I had appointments, paperwork to sift through, things to do with the kids and snack bar schedules to complete!
From all accounts of how Gary was doing yesterday I knew he was not well. He basically was nonresponsive and was in and out of it. He does not have much recollection of yesterday when we finally were able to speak today. Dr. Barth came in last night and made it clear that Gary was way too drugged up and that he needed him and wanted him to be coherent. So that brings us to today.
Stacy and Cris were with Gary a good part od the late morning and early afternoon. I came around 2 PM and Gary was awake and we had great conversation for the first time in about 4 days. He was alert and he and I watched Brian Regan and we laughed our butts off! I gave him a bath and covered him with lotion. We took care of brushing his teeth and putting cologne on! He is still having a tremendously hard time walking but can manage to make it with a walker from the bed to the bathroom (about 5 feet). It is so hard to see him struggle to walk that short distance.
Gary is having radiation every day and he is starting to feel some of the effects of this new chemo regimen. It is hard for him to swallow so he really can't eat. Besides, everything he puts in his mouth kinda tastes like metal! He feels like he has sores in his mouth and that his mouth is covered with a film. He does not have any sores and I see no film but the nurse is having him use a special mouth rinse to prevent the sores from appearing. These are all common side effects from the chemo. I managed to get him to eat some chocolate pudding and drink some ice tea. He ate half of a Togos sandwich that Malcolm had brought him for lunch the day before but it ended up really hurting his throat so he had to stop.
So, I hope and pray that tomorrow is a better day as well. He is in a little more pain than he has been in but it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that of course you will be in less pain if you are drugged out of your mind every day!
Infuriating conversation with the nurse is as follows:
Gary, what is your pain level?
(from out of a DENSE DENSE DENSE fog Gary responds by saying an 8 1/2.) Take in mind that he is not moving other than to violently jerk his extremities!
Wow, an 8 1/2 she says. I am looking at your pain pump and you have not pushed it in 7 hours. How can you be an 8 1/2 when you are not using your pump to help control the pain?
DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH - (this is what I am thinking)
How in God's name do you expect Gary to use his pain pump when he is DRUGGED OUT OF HIS MIND 24/7? He can barely move with the exception of the insane involuntary jerking movements his body makes BECAUSE of the incredible amounts of pain meds he is getting orally. These meds do not take the pain away as described by the level of 8 1/2 he was at but they obviously take him to another world so that he can't be as in touch with his pain.
I am not being unkind or mean but it seems ridiculous that Gary would even be asked that question.
Another hospital annoyance.
Gary's IV needs something because it is beeping and beeping and beeping. We call the nurse. Can you please come in and service the IV because it is beeping? OKAY they say.
5 minutes beep beep beep 10 minutes BEep BEep Beep 20 minutes BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP We are both going crazy listening to this thing. She enters FINALLY!
Gary without missing a beat asks her where she has been becuase we called her a LONG time ago and she never responded. Would she want to be feeling like absolute and utter crap confined in a roomlistening to a LOUD machine beeping in her ear second after second for 20 minutes. I think not!
Overall, the hospital is great (minus the $6.95 charge to watch TV every day). The nurses have been great and Dr. Barth is great. Dr. Kim is his radiologist and he is super nice. The food lacks but they have a great cafeteria.
Okay, I am done venting. On to a funny kid story.
A friend from school informs me that one of my kids has taught her kid how to stick her tongue out, grab the end of her tongue, pull it and say the word "apple" and "firetruck". I can see that many of you will attempt this feat just to see what it sounds like. Trust me when I tell you that it is not "truck" or "apples" for that matter. My child? Are you kidding? Not my kid. No way. RIGHT! I am no dummy!
I ask him where he has learned this and he tells me from older kids. Neat, huh? I chuckled a little because I can remember thinking that was funny in school. :) Inappropriate but funny nonetheless.
Thank you to Tami R. and Wendy M. for planning a great night at the nail salon tonight. Our church has so many fun friends and I always have a great time fellowshipping with them all. I love meeting new friends and catching up with old. I hope that Tami and Wendy plan some more events for fellowship in the near future! It is fun to just hang out and be girlfriends! I suggested taco Tuesday 1X a month at Tortilla Flats on the Lake. They have the yummiest $1 tacos!
I also wanted to thank the Women's Ministry for making all the beautiful flower arrangements for my house and for putting together my hospital bag full of essentials! I am so grateful and they were so thoughtful.
Thank you for all of your cards and notes and gifts and thoughts and love! All of your cards are hanging on Gary's hospital walls right now and there are also posters and letters and stuft animals and flowers! His room is festive and that is how it should be.
I have to get to bed! I have a super busy day tomorrow as I am sure the rest of you do! Gary, having the life of Riley, can be in his bed, get up anytime he wants and watch the guys surf and gaze at the ocean and just loaf all day! Ha Ha!! I joke often with him because our dream house would have an ocean view and he wanted that view so bad that he had to go and get cancer just to get it! Geez! :) I know working is a monotonous task but cancer to get out of it? Really Gary. There are easier things to do to accomplish the goal of not working! :) Love you honey!!!
It is our 12th anniversary on Saturday and I am not sure what we will do Saturday afternoon to celebrate it. Maybe we can have some take out if he is able to swallow by then! He really wanted to be able to take me out to dinner. I told him that when he comes home we can plan something then.
PRAYER & PRAISE
We are expecting his counts to drop soon. He will more than likely need a transfusion and his white cells might dip very low. Keep praying that maybe this won't happen and he will stay strong.
Pray that Dr. Barth can get his pain under control so that we can get him strong enough to come home!
Pray that the treatments are beginning to help Gary by killing the bad cancer cells.
Praise to God that my Mom is here to help and that Gary's parents were here to help. My Aunt''s are able to help care for my Nan so that my Mom could be here with us! TX XOXOXO
Praise also to God FOR ALL OF YOU! Your support continues to amaze us every day. We love just knowing all of you are here with us.
CLOSING THOUGHT
Please do not be afraid of our family. I know Gary's cancer hits very close to home. I am sure most of us do not know many people Gary's age who is facing this struggle. I do not want any of you to think that by being near us or standing by us that this will happen to you. I know to many of you that might seem silly but I do know that sometimes people feel like that.
Enough said and time for bed!
Ciao and lots of love coming your way every day! BE POSITIVE AND THANK GOD IN EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE. He will show you the good in every unfortunate situation. You just have to look for it!
Lisa
From all accounts of how Gary was doing yesterday I knew he was not well. He basically was nonresponsive and was in and out of it. He does not have much recollection of yesterday when we finally were able to speak today. Dr. Barth came in last night and made it clear that Gary was way too drugged up and that he needed him and wanted him to be coherent. So that brings us to today.
Stacy and Cris were with Gary a good part od the late morning and early afternoon. I came around 2 PM and Gary was awake and we had great conversation for the first time in about 4 days. He was alert and he and I watched Brian Regan and we laughed our butts off! I gave him a bath and covered him with lotion. We took care of brushing his teeth and putting cologne on! He is still having a tremendously hard time walking but can manage to make it with a walker from the bed to the bathroom (about 5 feet). It is so hard to see him struggle to walk that short distance.
Gary is having radiation every day and he is starting to feel some of the effects of this new chemo regimen. It is hard for him to swallow so he really can't eat. Besides, everything he puts in his mouth kinda tastes like metal! He feels like he has sores in his mouth and that his mouth is covered with a film. He does not have any sores and I see no film but the nurse is having him use a special mouth rinse to prevent the sores from appearing. These are all common side effects from the chemo. I managed to get him to eat some chocolate pudding and drink some ice tea. He ate half of a Togos sandwich that Malcolm had brought him for lunch the day before but it ended up really hurting his throat so he had to stop.
So, I hope and pray that tomorrow is a better day as well. He is in a little more pain than he has been in but it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that of course you will be in less pain if you are drugged out of your mind every day!
Infuriating conversation with the nurse is as follows:
Gary, what is your pain level?
(from out of a DENSE DENSE DENSE fog Gary responds by saying an 8 1/2.) Take in mind that he is not moving other than to violently jerk his extremities!
Wow, an 8 1/2 she says. I am looking at your pain pump and you have not pushed it in 7 hours. How can you be an 8 1/2 when you are not using your pump to help control the pain?
DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH - (this is what I am thinking)
How in God's name do you expect Gary to use his pain pump when he is DRUGGED OUT OF HIS MIND 24/7? He can barely move with the exception of the insane involuntary jerking movements his body makes BECAUSE of the incredible amounts of pain meds he is getting orally. These meds do not take the pain away as described by the level of 8 1/2 he was at but they obviously take him to another world so that he can't be as in touch with his pain.
I am not being unkind or mean but it seems ridiculous that Gary would even be asked that question.
Another hospital annoyance.
Gary's IV needs something because it is beeping and beeping and beeping. We call the nurse. Can you please come in and service the IV because it is beeping? OKAY they say.
5 minutes beep beep beep 10 minutes BEep BEep Beep 20 minutes BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP We are both going crazy listening to this thing. She enters FINALLY!
Gary without missing a beat asks her where she has been becuase we called her a LONG time ago and she never responded. Would she want to be feeling like absolute and utter crap confined in a roomlistening to a LOUD machine beeping in her ear second after second for 20 minutes. I think not!
Overall, the hospital is great (minus the $6.95 charge to watch TV every day). The nurses have been great and Dr. Barth is great. Dr. Kim is his radiologist and he is super nice. The food lacks but they have a great cafeteria.
Okay, I am done venting. On to a funny kid story.
A friend from school informs me that one of my kids has taught her kid how to stick her tongue out, grab the end of her tongue, pull it and say the word "apple" and "firetruck". I can see that many of you will attempt this feat just to see what it sounds like. Trust me when I tell you that it is not "truck" or "apples" for that matter. My child? Are you kidding? Not my kid. No way. RIGHT! I am no dummy!
I ask him where he has learned this and he tells me from older kids. Neat, huh? I chuckled a little because I can remember thinking that was funny in school. :) Inappropriate but funny nonetheless.
Thank you to Tami R. and Wendy M. for planning a great night at the nail salon tonight. Our church has so many fun friends and I always have a great time fellowshipping with them all. I love meeting new friends and catching up with old. I hope that Tami and Wendy plan some more events for fellowship in the near future! It is fun to just hang out and be girlfriends! I suggested taco Tuesday 1X a month at Tortilla Flats on the Lake. They have the yummiest $1 tacos!
I also wanted to thank the Women's Ministry for making all the beautiful flower arrangements for my house and for putting together my hospital bag full of essentials! I am so grateful and they were so thoughtful.
Thank you for all of your cards and notes and gifts and thoughts and love! All of your cards are hanging on Gary's hospital walls right now and there are also posters and letters and stuft animals and flowers! His room is festive and that is how it should be.
I have to get to bed! I have a super busy day tomorrow as I am sure the rest of you do! Gary, having the life of Riley, can be in his bed, get up anytime he wants and watch the guys surf and gaze at the ocean and just loaf all day! Ha Ha!! I joke often with him because our dream house would have an ocean view and he wanted that view so bad that he had to go and get cancer just to get it! Geez! :) I know working is a monotonous task but cancer to get out of it? Really Gary. There are easier things to do to accomplish the goal of not working! :) Love you honey!!!
It is our 12th anniversary on Saturday and I am not sure what we will do Saturday afternoon to celebrate it. Maybe we can have some take out if he is able to swallow by then! He really wanted to be able to take me out to dinner. I told him that when he comes home we can plan something then.
PRAYER & PRAISE
We are expecting his counts to drop soon. He will more than likely need a transfusion and his white cells might dip very low. Keep praying that maybe this won't happen and he will stay strong.
Pray that Dr. Barth can get his pain under control so that we can get him strong enough to come home!
Pray that the treatments are beginning to help Gary by killing the bad cancer cells.
Praise to God that my Mom is here to help and that Gary's parents were here to help. My Aunt''s are able to help care for my Nan so that my Mom could be here with us! TX XOXOXO
Praise also to God FOR ALL OF YOU! Your support continues to amaze us every day. We love just knowing all of you are here with us.
CLOSING THOUGHT
Please do not be afraid of our family. I know Gary's cancer hits very close to home. I am sure most of us do not know many people Gary's age who is facing this struggle. I do not want any of you to think that by being near us or standing by us that this will happen to you. I know to many of you that might seem silly but I do know that sometimes people feel like that.
Enough said and time for bed!
Ciao and lots of love coming your way every day! BE POSITIVE AND THANK GOD IN EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE. He will show you the good in every unfortunate situation. You just have to look for it!
Lisa
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Sunday NIght
Good evening. I know I did not post yesterday but I was at the hospital for almost 11 hours and by the time I got home I was pretty much out of commission. Right after church the boys and I went up to see Gary and the boys just love getting to see him.
The past few days have been a roller coaster for all of us. Gary received chemo yesterday and the drip lasted 5 hours. He has had minimal effects so far from the treatment. The only side effects have been a little nausea and a general ill feeling like a bad case of the flu. Gary slept through the entire treatment due to a bad drug reaction to his pain medicine.
Over the past 3 or so days Gary has been struggling with bad reactions to one of his drugs and until yesterday we were unaware of which one it was. Finally, by the grace of God, we discovered that the liquid morphine was causing Gary to have several problems.
Picture this - as we go through chemo Gary is unable to respond to anyone. He looks like he is having very mild seizures and he was hallucinating and talking and jerking. When he finally came to he was disoriented and had a difficult time focusing and getting in the present.
After talking at great length - okay, I realize he won't remember much of any conversation I have when he is in or coming out of a drug stuper - we decided that he would no longer take the liquid morphine.
The whole objective is to get Gary off the PCA dilaudid pump and to manage his pain with oral medication only. If we are successful doing that then Gary gets to come home with us! :) Well, today we maved a little farther away from that goal.
Gary, after going through a night and day of extreme pain finally got the PCA back. My suspiscion is that he will have to have the constant drip (basil) in addition to the "at will" dose which he can only give himself every 20 minutes.
He was unable to talk tonight because of the pain and we will have to meet iwth the doctors tomorrow to discuss the pain and what the plan is.
He begins radiation again tomorrow and the chemo he just had should begin to drive his cell counts down (red, white and platelets) very soon.
For the first time today he told me that he could not stand the pain and he needed more meds. He had somewhat of a desperate tone to his voice and that is very unlike Gary.
I could sit here and make fun of him because you should have seen him when he was in his "drug" coma! It was scary for a while but then I was looking at how I could make it funny. I did not have to look too hard because he was really funny!!! He managed to remodel the boys bedroom and made sure that I had eaten dinner. He was what the doctors call "reaching" for hours and hours. He looked like the karate kid - wax on, wax off! I am not being insensitive because you all would have thought it was funny - I promise!
Well, we LOVE all of the cards you are sending. His room is filled with loving cards and funny cards and inspirational cards and homemade cards and just the coolest cards ever!!!! You are all so wonderful.
Thank you for your love and supoort. Please know how thankful we are. We truly are.
I am falling asleep. I have to go.
Love and Hugs,
L
The past few days have been a roller coaster for all of us. Gary received chemo yesterday and the drip lasted 5 hours. He has had minimal effects so far from the treatment. The only side effects have been a little nausea and a general ill feeling like a bad case of the flu. Gary slept through the entire treatment due to a bad drug reaction to his pain medicine.
Over the past 3 or so days Gary has been struggling with bad reactions to one of his drugs and until yesterday we were unaware of which one it was. Finally, by the grace of God, we discovered that the liquid morphine was causing Gary to have several problems.
Picture this - as we go through chemo Gary is unable to respond to anyone. He looks like he is having very mild seizures and he was hallucinating and talking and jerking. When he finally came to he was disoriented and had a difficult time focusing and getting in the present.
After talking at great length - okay, I realize he won't remember much of any conversation I have when he is in or coming out of a drug stuper - we decided that he would no longer take the liquid morphine.
The whole objective is to get Gary off the PCA dilaudid pump and to manage his pain with oral medication only. If we are successful doing that then Gary gets to come home with us! :) Well, today we maved a little farther away from that goal.
Gary, after going through a night and day of extreme pain finally got the PCA back. My suspiscion is that he will have to have the constant drip (basil) in addition to the "at will" dose which he can only give himself every 20 minutes.
He was unable to talk tonight because of the pain and we will have to meet iwth the doctors tomorrow to discuss the pain and what the plan is.
He begins radiation again tomorrow and the chemo he just had should begin to drive his cell counts down (red, white and platelets) very soon.
For the first time today he told me that he could not stand the pain and he needed more meds. He had somewhat of a desperate tone to his voice and that is very unlike Gary.
I could sit here and make fun of him because you should have seen him when he was in his "drug" coma! It was scary for a while but then I was looking at how I could make it funny. I did not have to look too hard because he was really funny!!! He managed to remodel the boys bedroom and made sure that I had eaten dinner. He was what the doctors call "reaching" for hours and hours. He looked like the karate kid - wax on, wax off! I am not being insensitive because you all would have thought it was funny - I promise!
Well, we LOVE all of the cards you are sending. His room is filled with loving cards and funny cards and inspirational cards and homemade cards and just the coolest cards ever!!!! You are all so wonderful.
Thank you for your love and supoort. Please know how thankful we are. We truly are.
I am falling asleep. I have to go.
Love and Hugs,
L
Friday, February 8, 2008
Friday Night February 8th
Well, this morning I missed our "HOT DATE"! We always have a hot date from 10:30 - 11:30 AM! Let me share with you what we do every single morning.
Gary gets on an electric gurney driven by Rose (she is so cool!) and we walk about a 1/4 mile to the radiation office. This is where our "HOT DATE" happens. Gary gets 7 minutes of radiation and then we trek back the 1/4 mile to his deluxe ocean view suite! I bet you are all sooooo jealous.
Gary was so happy to give Zach his new bat for his birthday! Gary had a smile from head to toe when he saw the look on Zach's face. It pains him so much to not be home with us and he feels awful about not being able to play ball and help the boys during baseball. I can only imagine how difficult it is for him.
Here is the breakdown:
Gary is still in a lot of pain.
The doctor is trying to wean him off of the dilaudid pump and he is now taking liquid morphine and MS contin and one other drug. He still has the "break through" pump for unbearable pain.
He has chemo scheduled for 9:00 AM tomorrow. Get this - believe it or not - the nurse came in to tell me that Hoag does not have a drug Gary needs to have and I have to go to CVS in the AM and pick it up to deliver it by 9:30 AM. It scares me to think that this amazing hospital is out of a drug cancer patients need on a regular basis.
Dr. Barth has changed his chemo cocktail to gemzar & cisplatin. Evidentially, cisplatin is pretty heavy stuff so I am bracing myself for a few ugly days ahead. Hopefully my preparation will be in vain and he will get through with minimal side effects.
Baseball is in full swing and most of my days will be spent at Gilleran. The boys are more than excited and we are looking forward to an awesome season playing ball!
Gary's parents are leaving tomorrow morning and my Mom is here now. She will be here for 3 weeks.
The boys loved seeing their Dad tonight and we are hoping and praying he is back home with us by the end of next week.
Thank you to everyone who has and will donate their precious blood. :) We will need it!
If I had 5 fun outrageous wishes this is what they would be: (disclaimer states that these are wishes that can't include my family or anything of a serious nature)
1. I would have a personal chauffeur who would drive me everywhere and anywhere.
2. I would want someone to bring fresh flower arrangements to have all over my house every single cotton pickin' day! (just for the folks in Tennessee and Kentucky)
3. I wish for 2 more right now.
4. I would have a credit card with an unlimited amount to be used ONLY to shop for myself!
5. I would have the I Bewitched "twinkle nose" power! That would rock!
Back to reality. BTW - Jen helped me with my wishes!
Zach is off to a slumber party tomorrow for his Bday with some of his baseball buddies!
My Mom's birthday is tomorrow! Happy Birthday Mom!
Pray that Gary's pain diminishes and pray for us to be able to be a positive light to him!
Love and Goodnight,
L
Gary gets on an electric gurney driven by Rose (she is so cool!) and we walk about a 1/4 mile to the radiation office. This is where our "HOT DATE" happens. Gary gets 7 minutes of radiation and then we trek back the 1/4 mile to his deluxe ocean view suite! I bet you are all sooooo jealous.
Gary was so happy to give Zach his new bat for his birthday! Gary had a smile from head to toe when he saw the look on Zach's face. It pains him so much to not be home with us and he feels awful about not being able to play ball and help the boys during baseball. I can only imagine how difficult it is for him.
Here is the breakdown:
Gary is still in a lot of pain.
The doctor is trying to wean him off of the dilaudid pump and he is now taking liquid morphine and MS contin and one other drug. He still has the "break through" pump for unbearable pain.
He has chemo scheduled for 9:00 AM tomorrow. Get this - believe it or not - the nurse came in to tell me that Hoag does not have a drug Gary needs to have and I have to go to CVS in the AM and pick it up to deliver it by 9:30 AM. It scares me to think that this amazing hospital is out of a drug cancer patients need on a regular basis.
Dr. Barth has changed his chemo cocktail to gemzar & cisplatin. Evidentially, cisplatin is pretty heavy stuff so I am bracing myself for a few ugly days ahead. Hopefully my preparation will be in vain and he will get through with minimal side effects.
Baseball is in full swing and most of my days will be spent at Gilleran. The boys are more than excited and we are looking forward to an awesome season playing ball!
Gary's parents are leaving tomorrow morning and my Mom is here now. She will be here for 3 weeks.
The boys loved seeing their Dad tonight and we are hoping and praying he is back home with us by the end of next week.
Thank you to everyone who has and will donate their precious blood. :) We will need it!
If I had 5 fun outrageous wishes this is what they would be: (disclaimer states that these are wishes that can't include my family or anything of a serious nature)
1. I would have a personal chauffeur who would drive me everywhere and anywhere.
2. I would want someone to bring fresh flower arrangements to have all over my house every single cotton pickin' day! (just for the folks in Tennessee and Kentucky)
3. I wish for 2 more right now.
4. I would have a credit card with an unlimited amount to be used ONLY to shop for myself!
5. I would have the I Bewitched "twinkle nose" power! That would rock!
Back to reality. BTW - Jen helped me with my wishes!
Zach is off to a slumber party tomorrow for his Bday with some of his baseball buddies!
My Mom's birthday is tomorrow! Happy Birthday Mom!
Pray that Gary's pain diminishes and pray for us to be able to be a positive light to him!
Love and Goodnight,
L
Thursday, February 7, 2008
February 7th
Well. It will be official tomorrow that Gary and I now have a 9 year old son! We were talking about when we first brought Zach home and he was so super tiny with his teeny feet and his mouth that was all drawn up low a bow. His newborn cry was music to our ears and we thought it was so cute when he would sit in his highchair and throw food on the ground! It was so difficult at that time to imagine him being 5 and in kindergarten let alone being 9 and in 3rd grade!
Now, his tiny little feet are as big as mine (and I wear an 8) and his mouth - well, it is never shut so I can't tell if it still draws up into a bow or not! His "cute" newborn cry is gone and has been replaced deep thoughts and intelligent reasoning. He no longer throws his food but it manages to still get all over the floor somehow!
Zach is such a wonderful boy full of life and compassion and ambition and he is a great brother, friend, nephew, grandson and of course son. We are so proud of our Zach! Happy Birthday to him!
I have had a few very challenging days this week. Last night was a rough night for me. I really did feel like someone beat me with a baseball bat! I have not been sleeping as well as I had been before (when Gary is in bed with me). Driving back and forth a few times a day is grueling and I have had the kids shipped off in all different directions each day.
By all accounts, I have always been "super woman". Gary tells me that I am and most of the time I always feel like I can get anything and everything done. For one of the first times in my life I am running behind a little! But the things that pile up like dishes and laundry, a dirty car and cleaning bathrooms and floors are unfortunately not going anywhere so it all can wait and I refuse to allow it to frustrate me or cause me angst. It is really hard to let go of my Type A personality.
Gary is hanging in there. He thinks he might feel a little better and stronger right now. We are hoping and praying that the radiation and chemo are working together to shrink and kill the nasty cancer cells! He should be getting chemo tomorrow and he will have his 5th day of radiation as well. Radiation makes him extremely fatigued and he struggles to keep both eyes open most of the time. Yesterday he sat up in bed for a while and stretched his legs and he made it to the foot of his bed to do some squats. He has been eating food we are all bringing into him because the food at Hoag is more than disgusting. I think he is making some progress!
He has the view we have always dreamed of having! White water views complete with stunning sunsets are the order of everyday when you hang with Gary! If you can forget that the 8th floor is the oncology ward and that everyone on the floor is suffering with and through cancer then just for a moment you can set your eyes on the magnificance of the Earth that God created for all of us.
Thank you to everyone who has and will give blood for Gary. I will have a list of everyone who donates so that when Gary takes on different personality traits I can blame it all on each one of you!!! We are really so appreciative.
We love the cards everyone is sending and Gary has them all in his room. So many kids have made cards for Gary and he loves to look at all of them. He enjoys everything you bring and send and he is looking forward to being home and then you can all visit him there!
I know I have written a novel here and I am sorry to have taken so much of your time.
Once again, we are so thankful adn grateful and your support and love and the fact that you care about our family so much amazes us each and every day! We really and truly mean that!
Have a great night and please keep us in your prayers. Pray that Gary is peaceful deep down in his soul (he has said nothing to indicate that he is not doing emotionally well but the extra prayers always help). Pray that the chemo and radiation are doing what they are supposed to do. Pray that I can slow down a little and get a little more rest. Pray that our kids continue to weather the storm and that their minds and hearts are free from anxiety and worry and fear. Pray that I can catch up on some rest I need.
Our God is a MIGHTY God and the good that has come from our struggle is everywhere! I should probably write a book about amazing people! You would all make it in my book for sure!
Peace and Love,
Lisa
Now, his tiny little feet are as big as mine (and I wear an 8) and his mouth - well, it is never shut so I can't tell if it still draws up into a bow or not! His "cute" newborn cry is gone and has been replaced deep thoughts and intelligent reasoning. He no longer throws his food but it manages to still get all over the floor somehow!
Zach is such a wonderful boy full of life and compassion and ambition and he is a great brother, friend, nephew, grandson and of course son. We are so proud of our Zach! Happy Birthday to him!
I have had a few very challenging days this week. Last night was a rough night for me. I really did feel like someone beat me with a baseball bat! I have not been sleeping as well as I had been before (when Gary is in bed with me). Driving back and forth a few times a day is grueling and I have had the kids shipped off in all different directions each day.
By all accounts, I have always been "super woman". Gary tells me that I am and most of the time I always feel like I can get anything and everything done. For one of the first times in my life I am running behind a little! But the things that pile up like dishes and laundry, a dirty car and cleaning bathrooms and floors are unfortunately not going anywhere so it all can wait and I refuse to allow it to frustrate me or cause me angst. It is really hard to let go of my Type A personality.
Gary is hanging in there. He thinks he might feel a little better and stronger right now. We are hoping and praying that the radiation and chemo are working together to shrink and kill the nasty cancer cells! He should be getting chemo tomorrow and he will have his 5th day of radiation as well. Radiation makes him extremely fatigued and he struggles to keep both eyes open most of the time. Yesterday he sat up in bed for a while and stretched his legs and he made it to the foot of his bed to do some squats. He has been eating food we are all bringing into him because the food at Hoag is more than disgusting. I think he is making some progress!
He has the view we have always dreamed of having! White water views complete with stunning sunsets are the order of everyday when you hang with Gary! If you can forget that the 8th floor is the oncology ward and that everyone on the floor is suffering with and through cancer then just for a moment you can set your eyes on the magnificance of the Earth that God created for all of us.
Thank you to everyone who has and will give blood for Gary. I will have a list of everyone who donates so that when Gary takes on different personality traits I can blame it all on each one of you!!! We are really so appreciative.
We love the cards everyone is sending and Gary has them all in his room. So many kids have made cards for Gary and he loves to look at all of them. He enjoys everything you bring and send and he is looking forward to being home and then you can all visit him there!
I know I have written a novel here and I am sorry to have taken so much of your time.
Once again, we are so thankful adn grateful and your support and love and the fact that you care about our family so much amazes us each and every day! We really and truly mean that!
Have a great night and please keep us in your prayers. Pray that Gary is peaceful deep down in his soul (he has said nothing to indicate that he is not doing emotionally well but the extra prayers always help). Pray that the chemo and radiation are doing what they are supposed to do. Pray that I can slow down a little and get a little more rest. Pray that our kids continue to weather the storm and that their minds and hearts are free from anxiety and worry and fear. Pray that I can catch up on some rest I need.
Our God is a MIGHTY God and the good that has come from our struggle is everywhere! I should probably write a book about amazing people! You would all make it in my book for sure!
Peace and Love,
Lisa
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
WEDNESDAY
Hi guys. I am so tired I can't write tonight.
Thanks for all of your blood! Thanks for your prayers. Your love. Your support. Your phone calls. Your visits! The margaritas and martinis. Groceries. Gifts. Cards. Smiles. Positive thoughts. and everything else!!
Gary has ben nauseated all day and he is due for chemo tomorrow. His red blood cells dropped again and let's hope they don't keep dropping. He had a shower today. I cut his hair and shaved trimmed up his beard and mustache. Malcolm brought him lunch- yum. I hope to God he gets out within the next week! We all want him home now!
I must go. I hope to be more chatty tomorrow! I am saving all my jokes for all of you! Gary has said and done some pretty entertaining things the past couple of days!
Love, Lisa
Thanks for all of your blood! Thanks for your prayers. Your love. Your support. Your phone calls. Your visits! The margaritas and martinis. Groceries. Gifts. Cards. Smiles. Positive thoughts. and everything else!!
Gary has ben nauseated all day and he is due for chemo tomorrow. His red blood cells dropped again and let's hope they don't keep dropping. He had a shower today. I cut his hair and shaved trimmed up his beard and mustache. Malcolm brought him lunch- yum. I hope to God he gets out within the next week! We all want him home now!
I must go. I hope to be more chatty tomorrow! I am saving all my jokes for all of you! Gary has said and done some pretty entertaining things the past couple of days!
Love, Lisa
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
The positive and the negative
Guess what?
The blood bank called and said both O+ and O- can give blood.
The number to the donation center is (949) 764-5621 and you will need to make an appointment.
Bye!!
The blood bank called and said both O+ and O- can give blood.
The number to the donation center is (949) 764-5621 and you will need to make an appointment.
Bye!!
Tuesday
Quick update as I fly out the door!
Gary has had 2 sessions of radiation so far and he is getting ready for Chemo on Thursday. The radiation just makes him completely exhausted. He had to have a blood transfusion yesterday and he will probably be needing more blood.
The Chemo treatments cause anemia and I am sure the tumors STEAL his blood as well. So, he was 2-3 units short and has had 2 units as of now.
So, I am in the process of setting up a donor bank for Gary. Gary is O+ and he can only get blood from people who are 0+. After a donation it takes 3 days for the blood to be ready for Gary.
If anyone is this blood type and you would like to donate blood to Gary please shoot me an e-mail and I can give you the details. lisacsallee@cox.net.
I am off to get Jax and then Gary's parents are going to stay with the boys for the afternoon while I visit Gary!
I will keep you posted!
Love, L
Gary has had 2 sessions of radiation so far and he is getting ready for Chemo on Thursday. The radiation just makes him completely exhausted. He had to have a blood transfusion yesterday and he will probably be needing more blood.
The Chemo treatments cause anemia and I am sure the tumors STEAL his blood as well. So, he was 2-3 units short and has had 2 units as of now.
So, I am in the process of setting up a donor bank for Gary. Gary is O+ and he can only get blood from people who are 0+. After a donation it takes 3 days for the blood to be ready for Gary.
If anyone is this blood type and you would like to donate blood to Gary please shoot me an e-mail and I can give you the details. lisacsallee@cox.net.
I am off to get Jax and then Gary's parents are going to stay with the boys for the afternoon while I visit Gary!
I will keep you posted!
Love, L
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Sunday Update
Gary had a hard day today but he is still hanging in there. My aunt, uncle and grandma came in from La Quinta and Claudia and John came for a visit as well. Matt and Dave came and brought pizza and chips & dip and watched the Super Bowl with Gary.
So, his room is awesome! He has an ocean view and is very, very large!! Lots of nurses must really like Gary!
He is starting radiation at 10 AM. This week I would like to make a small request.
In the interest of helping Gary get through the week I would like to ask all of you to help me out.
If you would like to come and visit Gary it would be great if you could call his room directly to see if he is up for visitors. I have a feeling this radiation might give him several unpleasant side effects and he might be even more compromised than he is right now.
Once we get past the beginning of this treatment then hopefully he will feel well enough to get visitors steadily each day.
He loves being surrounded by the people who really care about him. The thought of telling people not to come upset Gary and so we decided to have everyone call him directly and he will be totally honest with whether or not he can have visitors at that time.
He is on the 8th floor in room 28.
I am off to bed! Love to all,
Lisa
So, his room is awesome! He has an ocean view and is very, very large!! Lots of nurses must really like Gary!
He is starting radiation at 10 AM. This week I would like to make a small request.
In the interest of helping Gary get through the week I would like to ask all of you to help me out.
If you would like to come and visit Gary it would be great if you could call his room directly to see if he is up for visitors. I have a feeling this radiation might give him several unpleasant side effects and he might be even more compromised than he is right now.
Once we get past the beginning of this treatment then hopefully he will feel well enough to get visitors steadily each day.
He loves being surrounded by the people who really care about him. The thought of telling people not to come upset Gary and so we decided to have everyone call him directly and he will be totally honest with whether or not he can have visitors at that time.
He is on the 8th floor in room 28.
I am off to bed! Love to all,
Lisa
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Addiction
MS (we will protect her/his identity) is completely, totally and utterly addicted to Wii Guitar Hero III. I thought my kids were bad. MS has raised the bar with the level of addiction one can attain while playing the Wii. I bet MS has Wii dreams. MS even has asked for a system for her/his birthday! I tried to ask MS a question during a Guitar Hero session and MS completely tuned me out and ignored me! Advice to MS's spouse - if you know what is good for your marriage you should probably stick with your original gift for MS's bday and steer clear of the Wii!
Zach loves loves loves loves Guitar Hero III. He played it for hours. The other boys have not even had a chance because Zach is a guitar hog. Between MS and Zach no one has a fighting chance!
It is official. Gary has a new room. It is bigger and better and I will tell all of you about it after I see it tomorrow. He sounded pretty excited and asked me to come after church to help him get the room organized! I love this new Type A side of Gary. He is so clean and neat!
We had a good visit today both alone and with the boys. We talked to the kids about lots of things like cancer and sickness and pain and we asked the kids questions and really had some great heart to heart conversations. Gary I think was in a little less pain today and a little more coherent. He had his first day of physical therapy and was able to walk a short distance. When I mean short I mean short. To give you an idea of how weak he is it took him roughly 30-40 minutes to get out of bed and walk 40 feet and back. He stopped to rest several times and an 80 year old man even lapped him!
His spirits seem to be holding up fine and they should get even better with this new room! More space, less clutter and it has a couch in it!
The baseball friends came over tonight and Matt picked up Pick Up Stix for the adults and pizza was deivered for the boys and Hailey! We had a great time just sitting and talking and I ended my evening in the hot tub with Matt and Jen and a few junior high giddie and loud girls!
I hope tomorrow is a better day as well. I will once again keep you in the know!
I hope everyone goes to church tomorrow and has a great Super Bowl Sunday!
Love, Lisa
Zach loves loves loves loves Guitar Hero III. He played it for hours. The other boys have not even had a chance because Zach is a guitar hog. Between MS and Zach no one has a fighting chance!
It is official. Gary has a new room. It is bigger and better and I will tell all of you about it after I see it tomorrow. He sounded pretty excited and asked me to come after church to help him get the room organized! I love this new Type A side of Gary. He is so clean and neat!
We had a good visit today both alone and with the boys. We talked to the kids about lots of things like cancer and sickness and pain and we asked the kids questions and really had some great heart to heart conversations. Gary I think was in a little less pain today and a little more coherent. He had his first day of physical therapy and was able to walk a short distance. When I mean short I mean short. To give you an idea of how weak he is it took him roughly 30-40 minutes to get out of bed and walk 40 feet and back. He stopped to rest several times and an 80 year old man even lapped him!
His spirits seem to be holding up fine and they should get even better with this new room! More space, less clutter and it has a couch in it!
The baseball friends came over tonight and Matt picked up Pick Up Stix for the adults and pizza was deivered for the boys and Hailey! We had a great time just sitting and talking and I ended my evening in the hot tub with Matt and Jen and a few junior high giddie and loud girls!
I hope tomorrow is a better day as well. I will once again keep you in the know!
I hope everyone goes to church tomorrow and has a great Super Bowl Sunday!
Love, Lisa
Friday, February 1, 2008
Friday Night
Gary and I really know how to live it up on a Friday night! The cancer "ward" at Hoag has lots of people, loads of activity going on and everyone I saw was completely and utterly doped upon some kind of narcotic! They know where the good stuff is for sure and their supplier is never too far away!
Poor Gary. Despite all the good drugs I can't think of 1 person who either wants to spend any night let alone a Friday night as a patient or a visitor on the cancer floor.
Gary has met one guy whose name we will protect by calling him "Stan". Stan has had testicular cancer that has now spread to the outside of his kidney. He is very mobile and very friendly and I would venture to say he is about 40. He is extremely positive and optomistic and has an amazing outlook on life. He has come into Gary's room to talk to him and check on him a few times.
Gary has become almost completely immobile and it really bothers him. He has an alarm on his bed that sounds when he gets up because he is not allowed out of bed without assistance.
We met with the radiology oncologist today. Dr. Kim is very nice, kind and sat with us and answered any question we had and never made us feel like any of our concerns were unfounded. He was able to show us the MRI that was done on Gary at UCI for the first time. The MRI was done on Jan. 11th. Here begins the medical portion of our conversation tonight.
I already knew how extensive his disease was but seeing it is totally different. How every doctor and radiologist missed the extent of his cancer is completely beyond me. When you look at the MRI images you can see the cancer everywhere in his abdomen and it has literally destroyed his pelvic and hip bones.
These images make the fact that he has cancer a little more real I guess. It is so surreal and when I look at him I do not see the cancer. He looks pretty normal - maybe a little tired but that's it.
Back to radiation. He starts radiation on Monday. 5 days a week for about 6 weeks. Hey, he does get the weekend and holidays off but of course has to make the holidays up at the end like the kids who have snowdays in the colder regions of the world. The radiation will take no longer than 1/2 hour so we will be in and out of there. Lots of driving to and from but we will manage and schedule it for when the boys are all in school.
Something I wanted to share from our Book of Hope.
I once looked up "support" in the dictionary. It says: "To carry the weight; To maintain position so as to keep from falling, sinking, or slipping; To be able to bear - withstand; To keep from falling or yeilding during stress; To furnish corroborating evidence; To aid the cause of by approving, favoring, or advocating; To take action." What a wonderful definition! Believe me, every single word applies to the experience of belonging to a group of people who support you.
Thank you all and good night. Sweet dreams!
Love,
Lisa & Gary
Poor Gary. Despite all the good drugs I can't think of 1 person who either wants to spend any night let alone a Friday night as a patient or a visitor on the cancer floor.
Gary has met one guy whose name we will protect by calling him "Stan". Stan has had testicular cancer that has now spread to the outside of his kidney. He is very mobile and very friendly and I would venture to say he is about 40. He is extremely positive and optomistic and has an amazing outlook on life. He has come into Gary's room to talk to him and check on him a few times.
Gary has become almost completely immobile and it really bothers him. He has an alarm on his bed that sounds when he gets up because he is not allowed out of bed without assistance.
We met with the radiology oncologist today. Dr. Kim is very nice, kind and sat with us and answered any question we had and never made us feel like any of our concerns were unfounded. He was able to show us the MRI that was done on Gary at UCI for the first time. The MRI was done on Jan. 11th. Here begins the medical portion of our conversation tonight.
I already knew how extensive his disease was but seeing it is totally different. How every doctor and radiologist missed the extent of his cancer is completely beyond me. When you look at the MRI images you can see the cancer everywhere in his abdomen and it has literally destroyed his pelvic and hip bones.
These images make the fact that he has cancer a little more real I guess. It is so surreal and when I look at him I do not see the cancer. He looks pretty normal - maybe a little tired but that's it.
Back to radiation. He starts radiation on Monday. 5 days a week for about 6 weeks. Hey, he does get the weekend and holidays off but of course has to make the holidays up at the end like the kids who have snowdays in the colder regions of the world. The radiation will take no longer than 1/2 hour so we will be in and out of there. Lots of driving to and from but we will manage and schedule it for when the boys are all in school.
Something I wanted to share from our Book of Hope.
I once looked up "support" in the dictionary. It says: "To carry the weight; To maintain position so as to keep from falling, sinking, or slipping; To be able to bear - withstand; To keep from falling or yeilding during stress; To furnish corroborating evidence; To aid the cause of by approving, favoring, or advocating; To take action." What a wonderful definition! Believe me, every single word applies to the experience of belonging to a group of people who support you.
Thank you all and good night. Sweet dreams!
Love,
Lisa & Gary
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