INSIGHT - Not too deep

I must say that I am one hell of a planner! After the day I have had today the spa could not have come on a better day. I am heading to Burke Williams for the morning and I am really looking forward to getting away from the daily grind for a few hours.

I am listening to Flo Rida. HAVE YOU ever listened to the words? Interesting words and so not appropriate. The tune is super catchy and I regularily work out to this song in some of my classes but I do hope kids do not listen to this music.

Now, my library has selected In The Blink Of An Eye. We played this song at Gary's funeral. Love this song. Sums up my life. We only have so much time to make a difference and I want to make a difference. I have made serious headway in the last 8 weeks despite my exhaustion and down moments. I am moving forward and making the most of my life and I am scared but really excited to see what God has in store for me.

I hope I am not alone the rest of my life. For 2 years I have been grieving Gary's passing. When you get a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis (cancer like Gary's) you basically know that death is eminent from this disease. You hold on to hope like we did but we both knew. Gary knew. I knew. But, Gary and I lived everyday for over a year one day at a time fighting this disease and giving Gary as much time as we could. I hope Gary would be pleased with the time we bought him and that he died with dignity and surrounded by hundreds of friends. He was so incredibly loved by me and by the kids and by everyone around him. So blessed.

Gary and I had such a wonderful marriage and I am so happy that we did. It was a very healthy relationship and I thank God for that every day. The mailman asked how my "handicap" husband was doing today. I told him and once again I managed to shock yet another unsuspecting soul with a tale of untimely death. He was truly shocked and then gave me the pity look like most do. It's okay. No one should be feeling that way towards me. I am going to be fine. Self sufficient. Emotionally healthy. Strength beyond measure (God given). Gary wanted me to be fine and he had faith (more than I did) that I was going to be just that. More than fine. I guess I will prove him right and be just that!

Zach is finishing reading. I am going to get a good night sleep because the "spa" needs me to be rested! I think I am playing Laser Tag tomorrow in the evening with friends. Nate has a game but if I miss 1 game it should not be that big of a deal!
Friday night I get to go out with the girls. Maybe we will stay local and go to Beachfire in Ladera. Saturday night I get dinner with friends again. I am going to be super spoiled this week. I am looking forward to it.

Spring Break is coming. 9 days off. NO lunches. NO laundry. NO homework. NO schedule. We do have baseball but when you take everything else out of the equation baseball doesn't seem all that time consuming. Love that more than you know. Lots of beach time and surfing for us. Zach and Nate want to go mountain biking. Swim. Play. Relax. Margarita. Relax. Relax.

Matt- waiting for Hornitos!

Have a great night. Remember to seize every opportunity to help others. You can make a difference more
than you know in the smallest of ways. You have one chance in this life to get things right. Get on it and just do it!

Love and Hugs,
L