SUNDAY NIGHT

I already know I am in trouble. For those of you that are "addicted" to this blog I offer up my most sincere apologies for not updating sooner. Things have been a bit hectic and a little gloomy around here and when things are gloomy sometimes it is hard for me to write.

In recent days I feel like I am running out of steam. Gary and I feel helpless as we wait for an appointment with Dr. Barth - which by the way is not until THURSDAY! We thought we would be able to see him when we were released from USC. After spending 16 VERY IDLE days in the hospital we are anxious to move forward. Every day is long and awful when you are waiting to see where to go next.

Many people who have seen Gary know how painfully thin he looks. I told him that he looked like a concentration camp victim (in the nicest way of course). He has lost 20 pounds which puts him at 148 LB. It is a little scary.

He wants me to tell you that he is not feeling very good right now. He has serious discomfort in his pelvic area and his liver drain is really bothering him. He is weak and tired and sick of being sick.

Tonight he was actually doing better. He came to the pool - our home group came over to hang out, swim and have pizza. He sat downstairs for about 2 1/2 hours while we all hung out and ate. Everyone is gone (and I did not even need to pull a Stephanie) and we are going to put the kids to bed and watch a movie tonight. I am looking forward to that!

We are both ready for some good days. I am sick and tired of bad days. If I am ready for good days imagine what Gary is ready for!

We will see the nursing staff at Dr. Barth's tomorrow in the morning for counts and a dressing change on the liver drain. We are praying that his pain subsides and that we can get some answers and move forward.

Look, sometimes it is hard for me to write. I can't imagine how sick all of you are listening to me tell you about Gary's pain and Gary's discomfort and his weight loss and tubes and procedures and all the other crap. I hate drama probably more than anyone and I try to keep the entries as drama free as possible. Sometimes when I blog about things then the reality of how real they are comes to light and I have to take a step back and think about the direction our life has gone and it makes me sad. I don't like to dwell in sadness. Gary and I get sick of it and I hate to bore you with the details.

We remain faithful and know that God has this incredible plan for our lives. I am not upset or tormented or worried or unsure. I am firm in my belief that God loves us and wants the best for us. He does not want harm to come our way and he only gives us what we can handle. I wonder sometimes if we can handle all of this and then I realize with the strength that comes ONLY from God we are in the midst of doing just that!

Please hang in there with us. We LOVE your prayers. We need them.
We love all of you.

Love,
Lisa & Gary