Monday

Good afternoon. I was able to come home quickly to get mail and water the yard while Todd and Gary's buddies from Home Group are visiting.

Gary was moved last night to Room 834. It is bigger but someone has run off with the pull out sofa and so Stacy is bringing me an aerobed so that the boys can spend the night with their Daddy.

I won't bore you with the awful details but I arrived at the hospital last night to find out that Gary had a horrible day with a level 10+ pain. He ended up having a CT Scan yesterday morning and we got the results.

His cancer is growing. At an alarming rate? Not sure. I have only spoken with the Internal Medicine Doc and not any of the other doctors. Dr. Barth will be in tonight and I am sure we will go over everything.
His tumor mass in the left pelvic region has grown 1.4 cm. The lesion on the liver is growing faster. It has gone from 3.2 cm to 5.4 cm and another 1.4 cm lesion has appeared.

I have to stop talking about this right now because I am starting to get sick to my stomach and I already have a stress migraine.

I just wanted to fill you in quickly. I will write more tonight or tomorrw morning after we speak to all of the doctors.
I have a call into the radiation oncologist - Dr. Brian Kim - to see how quickly we need to move on the chemoembolization/SBRT treatment and to also see if both of these are still in the plan as the most effective way to stop the cancer.

Please pray for me. I am really scared right now. No one can fix me or offer me advice or tell me stories to make it better. I don't need that. I don't need people trying to make me feel better because no one can do that for me right now. I just need to have time with myself to figure out how to and where to sink my anchor again. I am temporarily drifting and I think sometimes that is probably good because whenever I drift I seem to gain a new perspective. I pray that I get that new perspective quickly.

I am outta here! Off to the post office to get all the mail I have not bothered to get in weeks. More depressing bills and collectors and whatever! Hopefully, some fun cards as well!
Love, L