CODENAME MASON

When I tell you that one of our children is a firecracker I really mean it. He is such a pistol and this week has been a week for him to learn some hard lessons. Let's start out with some positive reinforcement for all of the boys.

The boys all had great reports from their teachers during the conferences. None of them had anything negative to say. All of our boys are very bright and outgoing and fun and good friends and happy and on and on. How happy that makes both Gary and me especially with everything they have been through and continue to go through.

So, back to our firecracker. I really want to tell you which one of our kids I am talking about but I can't. I will let you all guess and try to figure it out and we will refer to him as "Mason" to protect his identity.

Where do I start. Let's start with something super funny and then we will go from there.

I was in the bathtub tonight and Mason told me that he needed to come in and go to the bathroom. So, with the curtains drawn I listened to Mason as he lifted the toilet seat and exclaimed, "A Mans gotta do what a mans gotta do." I swear I have no idea where he learns this stuff. We have never heard the other boys say that.

Now we will discuss the not-so-funny stuff. Remember when I told you about one of our kids giving the bird? Well, Mason said a nice four-letter word and I can tell you that it was not BIRD! He was holding his tongue and repeatedly saying "firetruck" and when you do that it does not sound like TRUCK. BTW - he was not alone in his room doing this. He had a captive audience!

Oh, and there's more. Mason was playing at the *#&$^'s house today and he jokingly told one of the 12 year-old neighbor girls something EXTREMELY INNAPROPRIATE about her chest area. VERY VERY VERY INNAPROPRIATE!!!!!#^$%#&@*!(#&^$*^$*^%$* What the heck? The only thing I can think of is that one of our other boys made reference to something regarding the chest area (was not inappropriate) and Mason took that and ran with it and put it into a whole new and thrilling context!! I am sure he got a huge laugh at the time and laughed until he saw me and faced my wrath!

For those of you who do not know our Mason really well he most definitely has a funny and wonderful sense of humor. He loves to make people laugh and evidently we need to help him to understand what is appropriate and what is not - as far as trying to be a comic! Both Gary and I have zero tolerence for that type of behavior. Mason is so busted and he sat in his room tonight and wrote letters to all of the involved parties apologizing for the inappropriateness of his behavior.

Poor kid. It does stink being a kid sometimes and wanting everyone to like you and trying to fit in and make kids laugh and all the other akward things kids do for attention. He has a whole lot to learn and I guess I am glad we are going through this now and not later in life or at school with some random kid! This is why we are parents. It is up to us to reinforce positive behavior and to make certain that our kids understand the difference between right and wrong behavior. There are always consequences for our behavior - good or bad - and those are some of the toughest lessons we learn and probably still learn as adults - experiencing the bad consequences. I hate it when our kids are in trouble. It is so much nicer when they do everything right and life is smooth dangit!

Mason told me this weekend that one of the kids at school is bullying him and calling him names. He had problems with this same kid last year in Mrs. $&*#(@'s class and I will be visiting the school all week to monitor things and to see what is really going on. Kids can be mean and we want to help our kids learn how to deal with meanies and not to swallow their self respect and take crap from other kids - in the nicest of ways of course!

Gary went to Home Depot today with Chuck and got all the things to fix our 3 toilets. He actually got out of the car and wheeled himself around the store with Chuck's help. He was so whipped when he returned home but it was good for him to go on an outing!

I am going to post the link for the Birthday Party for Gary. When I figure it out I will blog it.

Happy Parenting To All,

L

November 1

Good Morning and aren't you all impressed that I have added some new photos! Self Taught might I add!
The site will be under construction this weekend as I try and tweak it some more.
Halloween was great last night and the kids brought home so much candy. I will be taking the vast majority of the candy to the Cancer Center so that they can hand it out to the patients. Most patients receiving chemo like something a little sweet!
Be patient as I change things around!
Love,
Lisa

WED & THURS UPDATE October 30, 2008

WEDNESDAY

So, after getting the kids off to school I came inside and Gary was starting to get ready. As I already told you there were not appointments scheduled for the day so I was curious as to what he was getting ready to do. So I asked.
He was actually getting ready to come with me to run all my errands. What do you think is the next best thing to Gary providing me with transportation? Being iwth me in the car would be the correct answer. You all know how much I hate to drive but for the first time in a very long time I actually did not mind the thought of running all ovedrr town because Gary was going to come with me!

We went to the bank and the post office and the Hallmark Store and the gas station and the pet store and on and on. I actually had a great time and Gary hung in there the entire time. He never got out of the car BUT since he was with me we ALWAYS got a SUPER CLOSE parking spot in HANDICAP! It is so nice not having to hunt for a spot everywhere you go. I was in and out of every place we went very quick and I loved it!

THURSDAY

Gary has another okay day today. He is actually sitting in bed right now eating Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries. He loves his cereal.

We were off and running early this morning to Dr. Fee and Dr. Barth's office. Fee gave Gary clearance to get off of all antibiotics which is great. Not sure what is causing the fevers but I suspect chemo.

Gary's counts were great so no need to go in tomorrow! YEAH!! We have a nice 3 day weekend break from the office.
The kids are excited about Halloween and they are ready to trick or treat. We will go out tomorrow around 6:30 and I am sure the boys will want to stay out as long as possible.

I had our annual 4th & 5th grade Halloween Party tonight. We had a great time together. It was nice to really
spend time with the kids. We have some greta kids at our church! Zach is at a sleepover and the other boys are fast asleep.

As you continually pray for us and for Jeff Spears and his wife please add my friend Sue to your list. She is a friend from Hoag whose husband has been fighting leukemia and he is on a downhill slide right now. She is strong and she and Larry have been together for 46 years. But, she is human and she needs our prayers and well wishes. So, send up a prayer for their family. She has been wonderful to me and we have had hours of conversations and I just adore her.

I am going to lay down and hopefully have a wonderful slumber!

Love to ALL,
Lisa

NO DOC OFFICE TODAY

It is so incredibly nice to not have to go to the doctors office today! We do love everyone there and it has become such a way of life for us BUT I like it when I actually have a chance to "miss them". Usually we are out of the house by 8:15 AM and we do not return until around 2:30 PM. You never realize how much of your day that consumes until you have a day or two when you don't have to do it.

Today was an okay day for us. I got a bunch of paperwork done for church and got to Sams Club to buy some of the stuff for our 4th & 5th grade Halloween Party on Thursday night. I even got some of the house cleaned up and I love it when my house is clean.

Gary took a long, hot shower today and then got in his little motorized cart and went to the school to pick the boys up. We have to figure out a name for that dang cart. It has given him the mobility that he so desperately needed. He did not even use the wheelchair today. He walked to the shower and then out to the garage. It is great to see him upright after watching him struggle so much. He moves slow BUT he moves nonetheless.

Zach is very excited to play the violin and he got to speak with Cousin Stuart today about the violin. Stuart is a world renowned fiddle player and he has offered to share one of his violins with Zachary! What an honor for Zach. He had better take care of it!

I am thinking about planning something for Gary's birthday on the 9th which is a Sunday. I was thinking about having an Open House so people could just pop by for a while to say hello and visit. Please hold that date (most likely in the afternoon hours) and I will let you know what I decide. I think it would be incredibly spirit lifting for Gary and after all IT IS HIS BIRTHDAY! We need to celebrate him!

Well, the Kulik's are delivering some yummy Italian food tonight and I have to go and get prepared for that!
Thanks for all of your prayers and all the love you all send our way.

Love,
Lisa

Stimulators and Survivors

BEANIE SURPRISES ADDRESS CHANGE

GARY SALLEE
C/O Mountainview Church
26131 Marguerite Parkway, Suite B
Mission Viejo, CA 92692

If you wish to send Gary a beanie to celebrate his birthday on November 9th please either send it to our home address if you have it or to our church address listed above. I had originally listed the PO BOX and that is fine but some companies I am told (if you are ordering online) will not send to a PO BOX - so there!

I am sad to tell you that the stimulator has not worked yet. We spent the better part of an hour trying to dial it in and we thought we had it BUT evidently we did not. We were in Dr. Barth's office after we programmed it and one second Gary was fine and just like that he was in excruciating pain - unexplainable pain. He says that the pain is not like the regular pain he has and it is not like the pain the electrical impulses sometimes give him. That is as far as he could pinpoint it at this time. So, we turned it off and gave him IV Dilaudid and have called it a day with the stimulator.

I called Justin (Boston Scientific Rep) and he is at a loss for a solution at this time. I think what we will do is try again tomorrow at a very low impulse and see how it goes from there. It might just take some time to figure it all out. Justin was able to get everything covered as far as the pain goes with the stimulator with the exception of anything below the left or right knee. He can't quite figure that out either but I am hopeful that in a few days time we will get this thing working for Gary to get him some much needed relief.

The Cancer Center was JAM PACKED today! Wow! The most crowded I have ever seen it. We got to see all of our regular friends and Dr. Barth has brought in a new nurse! We are so excited because Rachel is one of our most favorite nurses from Hoag on the 8th floor. She has been so wonderful to Gary and to me and the boys and we were so happy to see her there! Dr. Barth knows a great nurse when he sees one!

Cancer is a bitch (sorry it is). We have met so many people in so many different stages of this awful disease but let me tell you something. You will never meet a greater group of people. The people we meet are courageous and strong. We are like one big family. We all talk and support eachother. It doesn ot matter if you have bladder cancer or lung cancer of if you are Stage IV or Stage I. Everyone in that office - patients and their family members - are all there for the same reason - to be there for one another. Ttrust me when I tell you that I am not a support group type of person. I have never been one to find any comfort or peace from getting together with other people in the same boat. This is different. Everyone simply supports one another and talks and shares stories and we all share our lives! It is an honor and a privilege to be a part of these peoples lives. These people are true warriors and heros!

I often wonder if this is what I should be doing - working with cancer patients. I could go back to school and be a nurse. I hear it is super difficult for people to get into any nursing program but maybe I should eventually try. It is my hearts desire to help people who are sick to smile and laugh and find the bright spots even through the dark days. I know many of the patients and nurses have done that for both Gary and for me. What a wonderful thing. Maybe someday......

So far the kids have gone to so many Halloween parties and Birthday parties over the past few days that I have truly lost track. I do know that Nate went to a party and came home with a big bruise and abrasion on the right side of his face. Jax came home tonight after a kid kicked him in the face at Scooters Jungle and he has a big red mark next to his right eye. So far Zach is in the clear although he has the whole stitches thing going on.

I have a sucher removal kit and tomorrow Gary and I will help Zach remove his stitches. He is super excited that we are "McGyvering" it at home. I guess that would be cool as a kid to be able to tell people that you took your own stitches out! We will see how brave he is tomorrow.

I have Jax's Parent Teacher Conference tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn and I am anxious to see how he is doing. I met a little girl from his class this weekend who told me that Jax was one of the quietest students in the class and that he always gets their group extra marbles because he helps everyone and he is just great! Are we talking about my Jax? He is a great kid and I do see glimpses of this behavior at home but "glimpses" pretty much sums it up for me. All the time? Really? If that is true than Iwe will be setting some higher expectations at home!

Nate was a huge helper today as we "stomached" through Walmart. Get In and Get Out is my motto. If the prices weren't so cheap I would never go there. But, when the price is right, the price is right and so I go kicking and screaming and praying I get a fast checker and get the heck out!

Oh - Gary had 2 of the 4 chemo drugs today. He has the lesser 2 of the 4 evils. He will get them both again next Monday and then the yucky ones the following Monday. So, we hopefully have a break from the hospital for a while and as of right now we do not have to be back at Barth's office until Thursday to check in and get his counts taken! Yeah. I will go to the conference and come home and go back to bed. I need all the sleep I can get. I am playing serious catch up right now.

Well, it is 8 PM and I am off to bed. Gary and I used to do this all the time. We got the boys to bed at 7:30 and then we crawled into bed to experience evenings of peace and quiet - the only time we would get that throughout our day. I do have to get up at 10 PM to administer another one of Gary's antibiotics. Then, if all goes well I can fall into a deep slumber until morning (now that is a wonderful dream!)

The boys are out of school early and I love the light homework load this week.
I hope everyone is planning something really fun for Halloween. There are so many people who are Anti-Halloween and to each his own. I personally love it! It is the only time of year that your neighbors actually open their doors, smile and say hello, give the kids candy, and tell them how cute or scary or awesome they look! I LOVE IT and the kids have so much fun. I can't wait to see their excitment.

Gary has a request. He has a favorite Bible verse that means a lot to him and he wants everyone to read it.

John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

While on Bible Gateway I found this verse of the day and I wanted to share it with all of you, too.

Hebrews 4:12
“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

I have not had the best attitude lately. I told you all how frustrated and grumpy I have been. I finally got to the point where I asked God to take it away from me because I truly do not want to feel like that. He absolutely took that away from me and then I read this verse which references the attitudes of the heart. I want my attitude to always be in tune with what God wants to see from me. So, it takes these gentle reminders that God has left for us to make you realize what it is that He wants from us. My heart was so full of repentance and I am thankful that I can see these things in myself and try to change them with His guidance.

I bid you all goodnight.
Sleep well and be rested.
Love and Hugs (and Smiley Faces all the way around),

L & G (he gets the nod because he contributed tonight! :) Go Gary!!!!

GARY'S BIRTHDAY

A quick thank you to all the nurses and doctors at South Coast Hospital.
The nurses were so wonderful and amazing at South Coast this weekend and we are just so happy that they took such good care of Gary! Thanks to Dr. A, Dr. J, Margaret, Mike, Karen and everyone else who helped us and made everything go so smoothly! We are so grateful. :)


SHHHHHHHH........... BIRTHDAY IDEA
Okay. I was talking to my friend Tyra today and I was trying to figure out something great to do for Gary's Birthday - November 9th.
So, she had this idea and I think it is more than great!
Seeing is that Gary's head is TOTALLY bald right now I think it would be AWESOME if everyone that was able to could send him a cool beanie for his birthday! He wears the 2 beanies he has ALL the time and I am sick of washing them.
Sooooooo............
What do you all think? I think it would be super special and it is something he could really use! I remember when my dear friend Lynn was going through breast cancer our MOPS group had a hat and scarf party for her and it was awesome!

So, if you feel so inclined to celebrate Gary's birthday with us here is what you can do.

GARY'S 43rd BIRTHDAY
November 9, 2008
You can send him a cool beanie either to our house if you have the address or you can send it to the church office.
I will have the kids give the beanies to Gary on his birthday!
Send to
Gary Sallee
C/O Mountain View Church
PO BOX 2058
Mission Viejo, Ca. 92690

Gary is sleeping and resting. We will have the neurostimulator turned on Monday at 10 AM. Please keep us in your prayers and hopefully this will provide Gary with amazing relief from his daily pain!

Love,
L

Surgery

HI everyone.
Surgery went better than expected and Gary is getting ready to come home now.
The surgery was about 1 1/2 hours and he was awake right away.
He has a beautiful room in ICU with a perfect panoramic view of the ocean!
He is in excruciating pain right now as to be expected but hopefully with lots of drugs and ice we can get him more comfy.
LOVE TO ALL,
Lisa