FRIDAY NIGHT UPDATE

We are home. I just walked in the door after Gary's appointment, getting Jax, picking up A's Burgers for Gary and getting his new meds.
Here is what I know so far:
Nothing but possibilities and probabilities. Nothing concrete.
Without boring you with all of the medical jargin I will give you the gist...................

We saw Dr. Fruehauf today at UCI. Upon meeting him he reminded us of a cross between the detective on Psych and of Mr. Bean. He was kind and obviously feels that God is in charge and was very concerned with how Gary was feeling.

Gary's tests are showing possible metastatic disease in both of his hips. If this is the case then it might be elsewhere as well. If it is it would be bladder cancer in the bone NOT bone cancer. The reason it might be elsewhere is because it would obviously be in the bloodstream and not confined to an organ.

There is a small chance it could be inflammation and an infection. It is a small but possible chance.

So, next week he will have a bone biopsy done as well as a CT from his neck to his pelvis.
We will wait for these tests to be scheduled and in the meantime the following will happen:
We will pray continually that we have peace and patience while we wait.
We will get 2 other opinions at Hoag and City of Hope in Long Beach.
We will keep going and stay positive and continue to be surrounded by friends and family!

Thank you for all your love and prayers! Keep it all coming!
Love, L

Friday

Good Morning!

Well, we had probably our worst day since Gary's cancer nightmare yesterday. I am utterly and completely emotionally drained right now. You should all see the bags under my eyes. It is awful. I need to go upstairs to put Prep H on those bags!

Gary is the most amazing person. I love him so much and I HATE seeing him in pain and struggling physically and emotionally. He is so kind and loving and caring and thoughtful and helpful and every good thing you can possibly think about someone! I always want to be more like him in all of those things.

Gary and I both needed some help yesterday so Pastor Todd came over to help - that ended up being tragic. I backed my car into his in the middle of my sobbing and rushing because I was late to get Jax and did thousands of dollars of damage to his new beautiful Audi that he just got back after being in a pretty bad accident months ago! Insult to injury was the theme for the day! I am sooooooooooo sorry Todd. Right now, it is not funny so don't use this as a story in church to prove a point anytime in the near future!

We need everyone's prayers right now - more than ever. We are going to UCI this morning to see the Medical Oncologist who will hopefully give us some answers as to whether or not Gary's cancer is back and what our next step is either way.
Gary is drained and emotionally spent - beyond spent. Pray for clarity and strength and send positive vibes his way! Pray for love to surround him and people to lift him up!

I will let you know how everything goes this afternoon! Thank you TR, SB, M&J, JL, AB and RK for everything you helped us through yesterday. I would not have wanted to go through the battle without you!

PRAY PRAY PRAY!

Lvoe, Lisa

This one goes out to THE ONE & ONLY BIG D!!!

After learning that our friend - The BIG D - was upset because I listed his wife's initials before his in my last blog - do you see the tears streaming down my face as I play my violin? - I felt like I needed to acknowledge him because I am trying really really hard to get into "The BIG D Circle of Trust"! BIG D - this is it because your 15 seconds of fame have ended RIGHT NOW!

So, let's get down to what is really important - besides me of course! Gary is feeling okay today and did laundry and dishes and made dinner for everyone! He is hanging tough and we are fairly relaxed and feeling peaceful right now.

Gary is sitting in his big leather chair downstairs while we watch the YouTube video "Funniest First Dance". It is so funny - thanks Brick for showing that to me today at the office. BTW - How is it that Todd and I are the only ones who do not have iPhones at the office?

We are winding down the evening and we will go to Hoag tomorrow to drop off Gary's records to 2 new doctors. We will see the Medical Oncologist at UCI Friday and then see Dr. Barth and Dr. Vandermolen next week for their opinions. We have had several referrals to both of these docs! Thank you so much for all of your referrals! We had so many great docs to choose from!

KEEP PRAYING FOR US - WE NEED THEM ALL!

We will keep everyone posted!

Love, L

World's Scariest Roller Coaster

So I found out where the World's Scariest Roller Coaster is! IT IS OUR LIFE!
This update is part of a continuing saga that seems unending.
Before I start I have a need. I need referrals from anyone who knows a Medical Oncologist who is awesome. I have recently found out that there are so many types of oncologists - who knew!
So, we need a MEDICAL ONCOLOGIST. I would like to gather 2nd and 3rd opinions before we proceed.

Here it is in a nutshell........

First it was the left hip, right hip and spine.
Then it was only the left hip with necrosis in the right and nothing on the spine.
NOW...........drumroll please ................
He has sacral illiitous (inflamation) in his left hip with no apparent metatastic bone disease (this is where all of his pain is)
Nothing in the spine
The right hip that had nothing before now has findings consistent with Metastic Disease. (no pain in this hip)

So, I ask as any halfway intelligent person would, does he have cancer in his bone?
Well, they answer, the findings are consistent with that and we also factor in that he has had bladder cancer.
I did not get a YES answer.

So, where are we you might ask? ON OUR WAY TO THE LOONEY BIN!

I am so tired of this as I am sure Gary is too!

Here is how we proceed from here...........
I spoke with our GP - Dr. Tim Houston at Oso Niguel Medical. What a great doctor! He has been so supportive and calls Gary frequently to check in and see if he can help!
Dr. Houston has said as of right now we have no set diagnosis. He is disappointed that we have not had a QB helping to run these plays for us! This is where he says the Medical Oncologist comes to play.
We will see Dr. John Fruehauf at UCI on Friday who is a Medical Oncologist.
He should be able to give us accurate information. Hopefully we can get him to biopsy the area to make certain it is what it is - whatever it is.
So, I need more opinions after this one on Friday. This is how you can help. With the connections everyone has I hope to get several names to research so that I can get these appointments set.


In the meantime, we keep Gary comfortable and we keep going!
KEEP YOURS PRAYERS COMING for peace and strength as well as for patience and faith.
Regardless we are in the hands of God and as I told you before he will not leave us!

I have to take Zach to Gamestop as promised to research War Games that don't have too much blood and realistic violence - is there such a game I wonder!

I will keep updating to make sure to keep checking in!

We love all of you and thank you for your prayers! WE NEED THEM AND WANT THEM! Even the popcorn ones!

Love, L

PS - THE KIDS HAVE NOT BEEN TOLD ANYTHING RIGHT NOW! :)

The end of a long week and the beginning of a new one!

Hi everyone. Just a goodnight note................
Thank you for your calls and prayers and kind words and support!
R & G, M & J, J & D, D & D, Chuck and Annie, S and so many countless others who touch our lives on a daily basis - we love you and thank you for sticking by us through the thick of things! Many of you are waiting to talk to us and see us and we are thinking about you and know how much you care. Please know that once we get a handle on things we will return phone calls and E-mails.

Happy B-day J! The spa was so incedibly needed.
Lunch with homegroup is ALWAYS a treat! Next week we will host at our house! I will make Chicken casserole for everyone!
Our tacos were yummy tonight - Gary had 2! I bet the wine is going to be really good as will be the icecream!
The Costco run was needed M & J and Stacy and I found out that Sprint Sucks today after 2 hours of being jerked around!

I am trying to keep our lives very full right now as we go through this next phase of our lives.

Here are the final thoughts for the night because I DVRed DH and I want to watch it!

God is always with us and will never leave any of us...............I know this to be solid and true to the core of my being.
Good is everywhere - you just have to look for it sometimes.
Life is full of curveballs - how you handle them is the key.
Staying strong and being positive and knowing that you are not in control is crucial.

We will probably be on and off of many emotional roller coasters this week so bear with us as hopefully accurate information is unveiled to us. We will be researching some doctors at St. Josephs Burbank as well as at UCLA to get 2nd opinions. We will leave no stone unturned - this I promise Gary and the kids!

Have a wonderful Monday and we will talk soon.
Goodnight
L

Thanks

Thank you to Claudia and Todd and Ren and Gloria and Matt and Jen and to all of our friends who have been calling and praying and wanting to bring food and take the kids and be with us and everything else! WOW! We are feelin' the love as always!
Good night.
BTW - Gary is snoring right now! Finally, some sleep for him. :)

Gary's Latest

Hi everyone. I had to update everyone since so many people have called and emotionally I am not able to speak with many people right now. You should see my eyes and I am so stuffy!

Gary has been in pain since Thanksgiving. It has been getting worse by the week.
On December 20th we saw our doctor and we got the "3 month cancer clear". At this time I asked the doc why Gary was still in so much pain and I also told him that the pain is getting worse by the day.

A very long story made shorter...........................

I took him to Mission on December 27th. They ran tests and determined that Gary has recurrent bladder cancer in the pelvic region and that his kidney was shutting down and that we needed to get him to UCI right away.
We sobbed for hours and hours and stayed up all night doing computer research........................Gary of course said not to worry because he doesn't think he has cancer.

We got home.
Next day.................we were at baseball camp in HB and got the call to get him admitted ASAP to UCI so that they could unblock Gary's kidney.

So..........
We check in. Gary gets wheeeled off to the procedure room.

We wait.........

Gary comes back with no procedure. The docs at UCI looked at his CT scan and determined that the docs at Mission had completely misdiagnosed him - COMPLETELY! So, Gary says I told you so and we are positive at this point.

However, we still do not know what the pain is or where is it coming from but it has completely brought Gary to his knees.
Gary is released the next day from UCI and I get to work.

I have been on the phone since that day getting everyone on board.
Fast forward to today, Jan. 4th.
Gary went for a bone scan this morning.
Right after the scan we went to the doc office and I demanded that he be seen and that his scan be read.
His docs are awesome and always bend over backward for our family. Lydia pushes everything through. :)

We go in. They read the scan. They come in and blindside us 100%.........

They tell us that they are almost certain that Gary has bladder cancer that has gone into his bones. WHAT???? Did they just say that?

So, I immediately ask if I will most certainly be a single Mom. My answer is yes.
I ask how much time I have with Gary.
3 months to 12-18 months depending on how the chemo works.

So, devastation fills the room and I am seriously struggling to hold back any of the things I am thinking.......
I do not want to be alone. I love Gary more than anything (except God) and he completes me. I want the kids to grow up with their Dad. I thought Gary and I would grow old together. All my dreams are being shattered in a matter of a few words.

Dr. A pulls me into the other room to show my the bone scan. He is fairly certain and will not BS me that this is cancer in his bones. He sees spots on the left and the right and on the spine. Can he tell me this 100%? No. But, he is gravely worried and tells me several times how sorry he is. This cancer affects less than 5% of the population.

So......................we get the pain management clinic to give him loads of drugs and we order an MRI to CONFIRM the BONE SCAN FINDINGS. This happens at 6 PM tonight.

9:30 PM..........Dr. Rodriguez calls. He has talked with an INTERN radiologist because the head radiologist is gone until Monday and there are no residents available to consult with.

So.............................he can't commit to anything at this point. Is it cancer? Maybe......maybe not. More along the lines of maybe but he won't commit. He has some Avascular necrosis in his right hip which they thought was probably cancer. Not cancer. The spot on his spine turns out not to be cancer either. The left hip is not looking as good as the spine and right hip but he still won't say it is or isn't cancer.

So..........where do we stand on this INSANE EMOTIONAL roller coaster? We are still in God's hands and he is still in charge of our lives. We will PRAY our hearts out that Gary is healed and we will pray that this is ultimately in HIS will and we will be positive!

Monday we will have more answers and Gary and I will meet with oncologists.

4 things can happen.
1. He might not have cancer - not likely but possible. That would be optimal
2. With chemo and radiation we could prolong his life if his cancer responds well to it - he could live 12-18 months possibly
3. Chemo and radiation might not do anything and we will know by the 2nd round - he could pass away within a 3 month period
4. Chemo and radiation could cure him - 5% chance.

We are all over the board!
So, we beg of everyone to pray your hearts out for a positive outcome on Monday! Please pray for our boys to be completely protected (we are not telling them until we know for sure where we stand).
Pray for me that I don't fall apart and pray for fear not to control our lives. Pray for Gary for his comfort and that his mind does not run away with him negatively.

I WOULD LOVE ANOTHER ROUND OF HEALING!

We thank all of you for your love, support and prayers!
I will keep you posted as soon as I have more information!

Love,
L