World's Scariest Roller Coaster

So I found out where the World's Scariest Roller Coaster is! IT IS OUR LIFE!
This update is part of a continuing saga that seems unending.
Before I start I have a need. I need referrals from anyone who knows a Medical Oncologist who is awesome. I have recently found out that there are so many types of oncologists - who knew!
So, we need a MEDICAL ONCOLOGIST. I would like to gather 2nd and 3rd opinions before we proceed.

Here it is in a nutshell........

First it was the left hip, right hip and spine.
Then it was only the left hip with necrosis in the right and nothing on the spine.
NOW...........drumroll please ................
He has sacral illiitous (inflamation) in his left hip with no apparent metatastic bone disease (this is where all of his pain is)
Nothing in the spine
The right hip that had nothing before now has findings consistent with Metastic Disease. (no pain in this hip)

So, I ask as any halfway intelligent person would, does he have cancer in his bone?
Well, they answer, the findings are consistent with that and we also factor in that he has had bladder cancer.
I did not get a YES answer.

So, where are we you might ask? ON OUR WAY TO THE LOONEY BIN!

I am so tired of this as I am sure Gary is too!

Here is how we proceed from here...........
I spoke with our GP - Dr. Tim Houston at Oso Niguel Medical. What a great doctor! He has been so supportive and calls Gary frequently to check in and see if he can help!
Dr. Houston has said as of right now we have no set diagnosis. He is disappointed that we have not had a QB helping to run these plays for us! This is where he says the Medical Oncologist comes to play.
We will see Dr. John Fruehauf at UCI on Friday who is a Medical Oncologist.
He should be able to give us accurate information. Hopefully we can get him to biopsy the area to make certain it is what it is - whatever it is.
So, I need more opinions after this one on Friday. This is how you can help. With the connections everyone has I hope to get several names to research so that I can get these appointments set.


In the meantime, we keep Gary comfortable and we keep going!
KEEP YOURS PRAYERS COMING for peace and strength as well as for patience and faith.
Regardless we are in the hands of God and as I told you before he will not leave us!

I have to take Zach to Gamestop as promised to research War Games that don't have too much blood and realistic violence - is there such a game I wonder!

I will keep updating to make sure to keep checking in!

We love all of you and thank you for your prayers! WE NEED THEM AND WANT THEM! Even the popcorn ones!

Love, L

PS - THE KIDS HAVE NOT BEEN TOLD ANYTHING RIGHT NOW! :)

The end of a long week and the beginning of a new one!

Hi everyone. Just a goodnight note................
Thank you for your calls and prayers and kind words and support!
R & G, M & J, J & D, D & D, Chuck and Annie, S and so many countless others who touch our lives on a daily basis - we love you and thank you for sticking by us through the thick of things! Many of you are waiting to talk to us and see us and we are thinking about you and know how much you care. Please know that once we get a handle on things we will return phone calls and E-mails.

Happy B-day J! The spa was so incedibly needed.
Lunch with homegroup is ALWAYS a treat! Next week we will host at our house! I will make Chicken casserole for everyone!
Our tacos were yummy tonight - Gary had 2! I bet the wine is going to be really good as will be the icecream!
The Costco run was needed M & J and Stacy and I found out that Sprint Sucks today after 2 hours of being jerked around!

I am trying to keep our lives very full right now as we go through this next phase of our lives.

Here are the final thoughts for the night because I DVRed DH and I want to watch it!

God is always with us and will never leave any of us...............I know this to be solid and true to the core of my being.
Good is everywhere - you just have to look for it sometimes.
Life is full of curveballs - how you handle them is the key.
Staying strong and being positive and knowing that you are not in control is crucial.

We will probably be on and off of many emotional roller coasters this week so bear with us as hopefully accurate information is unveiled to us. We will be researching some doctors at St. Josephs Burbank as well as at UCLA to get 2nd opinions. We will leave no stone unturned - this I promise Gary and the kids!

Have a wonderful Monday and we will talk soon.
Goodnight
L

Thanks

Thank you to Claudia and Todd and Ren and Gloria and Matt and Jen and to all of our friends who have been calling and praying and wanting to bring food and take the kids and be with us and everything else! WOW! We are feelin' the love as always!
Good night.
BTW - Gary is snoring right now! Finally, some sleep for him. :)

Gary's Latest

Hi everyone. I had to update everyone since so many people have called and emotionally I am not able to speak with many people right now. You should see my eyes and I am so stuffy!

Gary has been in pain since Thanksgiving. It has been getting worse by the week.
On December 20th we saw our doctor and we got the "3 month cancer clear". At this time I asked the doc why Gary was still in so much pain and I also told him that the pain is getting worse by the day.

A very long story made shorter...........................

I took him to Mission on December 27th. They ran tests and determined that Gary has recurrent bladder cancer in the pelvic region and that his kidney was shutting down and that we needed to get him to UCI right away.
We sobbed for hours and hours and stayed up all night doing computer research........................Gary of course said not to worry because he doesn't think he has cancer.

We got home.
Next day.................we were at baseball camp in HB and got the call to get him admitted ASAP to UCI so that they could unblock Gary's kidney.

So..........
We check in. Gary gets wheeeled off to the procedure room.

We wait.........

Gary comes back with no procedure. The docs at UCI looked at his CT scan and determined that the docs at Mission had completely misdiagnosed him - COMPLETELY! So, Gary says I told you so and we are positive at this point.

However, we still do not know what the pain is or where is it coming from but it has completely brought Gary to his knees.
Gary is released the next day from UCI and I get to work.

I have been on the phone since that day getting everyone on board.
Fast forward to today, Jan. 4th.
Gary went for a bone scan this morning.
Right after the scan we went to the doc office and I demanded that he be seen and that his scan be read.
His docs are awesome and always bend over backward for our family. Lydia pushes everything through. :)

We go in. They read the scan. They come in and blindside us 100%.........

They tell us that they are almost certain that Gary has bladder cancer that has gone into his bones. WHAT???? Did they just say that?

So, I immediately ask if I will most certainly be a single Mom. My answer is yes.
I ask how much time I have with Gary.
3 months to 12-18 months depending on how the chemo works.

So, devastation fills the room and I am seriously struggling to hold back any of the things I am thinking.......
I do not want to be alone. I love Gary more than anything (except God) and he completes me. I want the kids to grow up with their Dad. I thought Gary and I would grow old together. All my dreams are being shattered in a matter of a few words.

Dr. A pulls me into the other room to show my the bone scan. He is fairly certain and will not BS me that this is cancer in his bones. He sees spots on the left and the right and on the spine. Can he tell me this 100%? No. But, he is gravely worried and tells me several times how sorry he is. This cancer affects less than 5% of the population.

So......................we get the pain management clinic to give him loads of drugs and we order an MRI to CONFIRM the BONE SCAN FINDINGS. This happens at 6 PM tonight.

9:30 PM..........Dr. Rodriguez calls. He has talked with an INTERN radiologist because the head radiologist is gone until Monday and there are no residents available to consult with.

So.............................he can't commit to anything at this point. Is it cancer? Maybe......maybe not. More along the lines of maybe but he won't commit. He has some Avascular necrosis in his right hip which they thought was probably cancer. Not cancer. The spot on his spine turns out not to be cancer either. The left hip is not looking as good as the spine and right hip but he still won't say it is or isn't cancer.

So..........where do we stand on this INSANE EMOTIONAL roller coaster? We are still in God's hands and he is still in charge of our lives. We will PRAY our hearts out that Gary is healed and we will pray that this is ultimately in HIS will and we will be positive!

Monday we will have more answers and Gary and I will meet with oncologists.

4 things can happen.
1. He might not have cancer - not likely but possible. That would be optimal
2. With chemo and radiation we could prolong his life if his cancer responds well to it - he could live 12-18 months possibly
3. Chemo and radiation might not do anything and we will know by the 2nd round - he could pass away within a 3 month period
4. Chemo and radiation could cure him - 5% chance.

We are all over the board!
So, we beg of everyone to pray your hearts out for a positive outcome on Monday! Please pray for our boys to be completely protected (we are not telling them until we know for sure where we stand).
Pray for me that I don't fall apart and pray for fear not to control our lives. Pray for Gary for his comfort and that his mind does not run away with him negatively.

I WOULD LOVE ANOTHER ROUND OF HEALING!

We thank all of you for your love, support and prayers!
I will keep you posted as soon as I have more information!

Love,
L

Christmas Tree

We got our tree and it looks so pretty in our family room. I still have to put lights and ornaments on it but it smells good, it is relatively straight and everyone is happy! I went a little easier on Gary this year. Usually we spend about an hour making sure it is perfectly perfect but this time I let go of the control and it looks just fine!

I am more than exhausted right now. Have you ever been so tired you felt like you were going to throw up? That is where I am at now.

I did the annual Black Friday Shopping with girlfriends and had a great time. We met in front of Kohls at 3:20 AM and by
10:00 AM I had been home, we picked out our tree and we were on our way to La Quinta.

We left my Aunt & Uncle's beautiful home last night around 9:30 PM and rolled in at midnight this morning! I even drove about 3/4 of the way! I woke up this morning at 6 AM and got ready for Ryan's birthday party at Scooters Jungle at 9 AM.

The house is clean, home group is coming over tomorrow and the boys are having their party this Friday night at our house! They are sooooooo excited!!!! They are such great kids!

My eyes are involuntarily closing and I need to sleep before church! Gary did okay yesterday in the desert but today was down for a couple of hours. Tonight he managed to bring the tree in with Chuck (our great neighbor) and did countless loads of laundry and cleaned many dishes! He is such a great husband and father. We are so blessed and lucky!!!

Good Night!
Lisa :)

One For The Blog

Yet another Jax story...................
We are currently sitting at the dinner table - minus Nate - and all the boys are eating In-N-Out. Jax is lagging on his grilled cheese so I have made him a deal. 2 bits grilled cheese gets you 5 french fries. He would opt for the "fry option" only if I had not made this a mandatory part of the dinner experience.
I tell him after a few rounds that in the next round - because he snuck an extra couple fries during the last round - he will need to eat three bits to his five fries. Here he goes................
Jax: Can I have more fries?
Me: I just told you what needs to happen in order for you to have more fries.
Jax: I did not hear you.
Me: I think you did. You are sitting right here next to me.
Jax: I DIDN'T HEAR YOU.
Me: silence.......................more silence with the stare after I politely tell him not to raise his voice and be disrespectful.
Jax: After I have three bites do I get more fries?
Me: AHA! I KNEW YOU HEARD ME!
Jax: (looking at me with a mile wide grin) I had to try to manipulate you! LOL
Me: more silence because I understand that this is how my child operates!
WE ARE IN FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
Have a great Monday night! Go BACHELOR BRAD!!!
Lisa

Happy 5th Birthday JAX!

It is one of those nights.

I do not experience them that often but when I do it really sucks because I am tired and I really want to sleep! Believe it or not, this will be therapy and let me explain.

I sometimes experience sleepless nights because I have WAY TOO much on my mind. There are things I have wanted to do and need to do that I have yet to do because life consumes me at times and I continue to keep pushing the really important things aside to deal with the monotonous day to day things.

I have been meaning to update this blog for sooooooo long and I keep saying "tomorrow" and tomorrow comes and then the next day and the next and it still does not get done. So, I become increasingly overwhelmed with things that I should not be overwhelmed with. And so on and so forth.......................boring.

So, I will be able to cross this off of that To Do List that resinates in my head! YEAH for me! One less thing. I guess all I can do is a little each day to get caught up. My next task is a little more time consuming.............thank you letters.

When I tell you that Gary and I have hundreds of thank yous to write I am giving you a conserative estimate! Let's be real......I should not include Gary in the writing of these letters. We all know that I will write them (his writing is barely legible and he is a classic peck typist), read them to Gary and then I will seal them, address them, stamp them and mail them! I get flustered just thinking about it. I think he could put the stamps on them! :)

On the other hand, I can barely stand the thought of having to have forged through this alone with no one to thank. We are so incredibly blessed and fortunate! I do not think any of you know how blessed we feel.
If you were at church this morning you got to witness a "very rare" event. Gary got up in front of our church to thank everyone and pour out some incredible emotions! He has come SUCH A LONG WAY! Never in a million years would I have thought he would get up in front of hundreds of people ON A MICROPHONE and share his most private thoughts and feelings! He did such a great job and we love him, admire him and respect him so very much! He told everyone that he was actually thankful for having had the opportunity to experience cancer! He feels like his life has been changed and touched in so many ways. He owes everything to the Glory of God and I think he is truly amazing!
So, back to me.

I am thinking about how I want to thank everyone. Many people have told me to write a general letter and send it out to everyone and then write a small "blip" at the bottom to each person. A "small blip"????? I ask! Are you kidding? Have you read this blog? There is absolutely nothing short-winded about my writing or my thoughts! I have to articulate things - my feelings, the way they come across and how they are taken! I am an over-thinking, analytical being who can't possibly be expected to write a "small or short blip"!

My point being is that I will begin to write this week. Please do not think we have forgotten about you. We think about you everyday. We think about how you have touched our lives in so many ways and continue to do so even now. We covet your prayers and think about how we hope to someday touch your life like you have touched ours!

I bet you want an update on Gary's general well-being???
He is coming along with his healing. If I were to take a stab at what percentage he was functioning at I guess I would say 70% at this point. He has more overall good hours in his day. He looks great even though he walks a little funny sometimes!
We are in the process of re-writing his resume right now and that is one more thing I HAVE TO CROSS OFF MY LIST TOO! Many people are waiting for it and I need to get it done! Thanks Tom for being so patient!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray that he gets a wonderful job offer. He is so deserving of that and he is getting prepped and ready for that perfect job!

We are looking forward to the Holidays and Gary's next check up is on December 13th. I have thought about changing it to the first of the year but I am unsure if we are going to do that. We will pray on it and make sure we make the right decision.

THE BOYS
What can I say about our boys?
All three of our boys are doing extremely well in school and have had rave reviews by their teachers! They just finished baseball tonight until the spring and we are now in the official "sport hiatus"! A break for a while will be nice. Nate's and Zach's coaches were awesome as always and we are so thankful for the time they took to invest in our boys! Yeah coaches!

JAX IS 5 TODAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR LITTLE MAN!
NATE WILL BE 7 on the 28th!
GARY JUST TURNED %2 on Nov.9th!
I will be 29 on Dec.11th!
Poor Zach - no birthday until February!

All three boys have taken their turns throwing up near me all week. Please let me assure you that I DO NOT DO VOMIT! EVER!!!
Jax puked and as he was crying I had him walk himself into the shower - fully clothed - to rinse the disgusting chunks of vomit off of himself and his clothes. I got him to the shower just in time. Gary was coming home from Bible study and he took over - HE'S DA MAN! I love my kids but I DO NOT DO VOMIT! Poor Jax.........and Nate...........and Zach..........and Gary. They had to fend for themselves for a few days while I was down for the count.
Thankfully, we are all on the mend and feeling much better.

Jax managed to use his wit and charm to get cashflow from several people tonight to play video games at Jake's birthday party. He is seriously resourceful and cute!

Nate managed to tell his brothers the other night this very thing.............."We all know that there is no such thing as the tooth fairy! It's Mom! Right, Mom?"
It absolutely is not me and has not been me. I can honestly say that.

Zach is growing into quite a young man. He is always ready to help me with whatever or accompany me on tedious errands and he even will pick up dog poop if I ask him! I am working on cleaning the toilet seat but we don't want to push growth in too many areas at once! :)

Okay.....I am still tired and need to get sleep. I am going to bed now. Thanks for listening and stay tuned for more.......

Love and Hugs and Smiles,
Lisa